Are we romantic????????????!!

[HUSNAA]

Man and Woman relationships kenan! Go on educating us until we learn the game to enable us bring four wives into our houses! ;D 

Mata hudu?:o
A zamanin nan?
Lallai daukar dala da gammo kenan!
Kayi wa asusu kyakkyawar tanadi kenan!!

[bakangizo]

Goga? Kana son maganar gaskiya? Wallahi duk ka bar wadannan karance-karancen littattafan koyar da romance, ko zaman aure da sauransu. Magana daya ce kawai - Hakuri, kai zuciya nesa da kokarin yin adalici a koyaushe. Shi ne kawai yake rike aure. Musamman Hakuri, Hakuri.

[Dan-Borno]

@ Auntyn Muhsin's statement:
I hope this doesnt imply 'gudun talauci'?, because we
equally have on the opposite side those who have
excess money but they are single, and on most
occasions, with a wife and a son/daughter ONLY.


NB
Excess means an amount or quantity beyond what is considered
proper, usual, or sufficient.

Bakangizo, ka fadi gaskiya, i think this is the botton of
the statement.

[*~MuDa~*]

NB
Excess means an amount or quantity beyond what is considered
proper, usual, or sufficient.

Dan Borno, iam not married to four but i bet you, there is no way on this earth that one can be romantic to all four wives equally, mark my word.

[Dan-Borno]

Dont you ever make mistake of questioning your faith
Muda, this is the belief we were raised to uphold -
mark my words also.

[EMTL]

NB
Excess means an amount or quantity beyond what is considered
proper, usual, or sufficient.

Dan Borno, iam not married to four but i bet you, there is no way on this earth that one can be romantic to all four wives equally, mark my word.

Assalamu alaikum,
Mallam Muda, How many wives do you have? If you have less than two you may not be in good position to make balanced comments about how 'Romantic men can be.'

The Holy Prophet (SAW) has multiple wives and was very just and effectionate to all his wives. If one has good intentions Allah (SWT) shall guide him and give him the capacity to manage his family affairs. There are many people having only one wife and yet.....

The theory of marriage life is, from what i can deduce, mind you I can be wrong is:
1. When you are a Bachelor - you know nothing but pretend to know everything, That kind of ' I have arrived feeling' guys have when they finished writing a NECO or GCE exam?,
2. Those having one wife are like people that have obtained a first degree, a long way to go if you want to be a 'Don', i reckon,
3. Those with two (2) wives have obtained a 'masters degree' in family management,
4. You gets a PhD when you marry of upto 4, give out daugther in marriage or take a young lady, of your daughters' age as Amarya.  This person can manage every crisis in life.

Just Ponder at the following narrated by Said bin Jubair (RA) who said, Ibn 'Abbas (RA) asked me, "Are you married?" I replied, "No." He said, "Marry, for the best person of this nation (Muslim Umma) of all other Muslims (i.e., Muhammad [PBUH]), had the largest number of wives."

I want to read your reactions.
Amma Labari:
Wani Dan barno ne wani abokinsa ya burge shi, yaji dadi, sai yace masa: 'Da ace ina da mata biyu da na baka daya'.  Sai abokin ya ce: 'haba Alangubro ashe matar daya ce kawai?' Dan barno sai yace, ' an gaya maka dayan ma akwai ne?'

[Dan-Borno]

  ;D  ;D   ;D   ;D  Engineer, ashe kai ma wani Goni ne.
Ba komai, we will meet sometime somewhere, ramakon
gayya sai yafi na gayya zafi.

[*~MuDa~*]

@ DanBorno and EMTL. It seems you guys really got me very wrong.  I never said it is impossible to be able to manage four wives, i said it is very impossible to be romantic to all four equally. The romantic ideas of one wife is higher or lesser than the other, in this case what will you do if one wife is not too romantic? will you shun her and be more romantic to the others? You can manage them and treat them equally, but you can not love them equally because first of al, it is only natural to have preference on all the things of the world and such our wives are not an exception, even among your own children you have the one you prefer than the others deep in your heart. So you see what i mean my friends! :D

[ummita]

@ DanBorno and EMTL. It seems you guys really got me very wrong. i said it is very impossible to be romantic to all four equally.

MAY GOD PUT YOU IN HEAVEN

[EMTL]

@ i said it is very impossible to be romantic to all four equally:D

Assalamu alaikum,
Muda,
Here, I agree with you. Because thats what Allah (SWT) said in the Glorious Qur'an.

[ummita]

It seems you guys really got me very wrong. i said it is very impossible to be romantic to all four equally.

MAY GOD PUT YOU IN HEAVEN

Mudah, u stimulated a post out of me. Equality 'red tape' in polygamous household is something u will never, never, never, never, never, never and ever find in a "MAN" of today's world. A man who will demonstrate just & equal management on all four wives? One must have his/her head up in clouds. Equality amongst all four wives is a thing of narrated verses from ancient books, time when prehistory had it that most men of God were loyal to their wives. But if today's man will beat his chest and say he can exercise equality, I will have to say: pls quit the frolics!!!

Check on it: Friend of mine is the 3rd wife of a man with 4 wives. Though the nincompoop of a husband as my freind claimed, is even the one letting all hell loose in his household. He scandalizes is home by carrying ill talks from one room to another. He will tell my friend she is the best wife and the one he likes business globe trotting with, coz all the other wives carry their children along & that they don't know how to dress to impress him and are not as educated as her. Her house girl will rumor this to the house girl's of either wives & before you know it, my friend is ringing to inform me that Tremaine name we gave (the 1st wife) and her 2 daughters: Anastisia and Drizella, (the other two wives) have ganged up again on my friend (who is the cindrella)!

So my definition of equality between a man to his four wives is this: As you come trough that door after work, if you smile 32 teeth to Uwargida, and you smiled at Amarya but only 30 teeth came into display, to me........its inequality!!! And if my definition is immoral, my ethical credence is also that there can be no impregnable evidence of fairness in today's polygamous family! It is a thing of the past! Who disagrees?

SAIDAI KUMA WANI IKON ALLAH SUBHANA WATA'ALA

[ummita]

We keep playin ping-pong on this thread despite a lot of its accuracies, but one things for sure, I do not lubricate gender politics however, if I believe: man is right about so and so & woman is wrong, I will make my point clear & if: woman is off beam, vis a viz! But dis to men: regardless of ur lust of always wanting to be significantly correct; is it not also accurate that d reason y some of u r not romantic is coz u r emotionally constipated - either too shy/introverted, too pompous, too narcissistic or wanting to have the "gladiator" smugness that makes it too complicated 4 u 2 pour d anecdote of your affection to a woman and win 'the most romantic man of the year award'? Is it not so? On a flip-side, you would nevertheless agree that MOST women have softer hearts, a motherly & caring nature, are more passionate and this enables women to nurse & nourish "you things" ;D in an adoring capacity that u guys are unskilled at? Ehn?

[Hafsy_Lady]

We keep playin ping-pong on this thread despite a lot of its accuracies, but one things for sure, I do not lubricate gender politics however, if I believe: man is right about so and so & woman is wrong, I will make my point clear & if: woman is off beam, vis a viz! But dis to men: regardless of ur lust of always wanting to be significantly correct; is it not also accurate that d reason y some of u r not romantic is coz u r emotionally constipated - either too shy/introverted, too pompous, too narcissistic or wanting to have the "gladiator" smugness that makes it too complicated 4 u 2 pour d anecdote of your affection to a woman and win 'the most romantic man of the year award'? Is it not so? On a flip-side, you would nevertheless agree that MOST women have softer hearts, a motherly & caring nature, are more passionate and this enables women to nurse & nourish "you things" ;D in an adoring capacity that u guys are unskilled at? Ehn?

A TAP ON UR BACK!

[gogannaka]

@ Husnaa- I thot the article was written by a woman (Whitney)  ???

@BKG- Thanks for the advice bro  ;). I've been to a lot of 'after marriage greetings (tasani)' and that is the most common advise and prayer offered to both sides. On one occasion a newly wed wife confided in me that she hates it when the only advice given to her is to 'yi hakuri' at all times. This made it seem to her that marriage is all cheat-no fairness.
If i do read articles and books about marriage i do so only to enlighten myself about some of the things(including all you've mentioned) which would help maintain a successful marriage. Ba wai daukan su nake sune ka'ida ba...Ilimi ai baya yawa ko?

@Ummita- Many people have the traditional belief that our forefathers were always better. Why do you think that nowadays polygamous husbands cannot treat their wives equally?I mean if our forefathers can do it then why can't we?
True,a man's 'emotional constipation' cannot be unconnected to the role he plays as the provider and protector. A man believes that showing too much of his emotions is a sign of weakness and as the protector, that becomes a minus.

@EMTL nice comparison....LOL.
In my case and Muda we're still preparing for our SSCE  ;D

[kitkat]

Our forefathers got it better because they were more realistic about life. Part of the problem now ranges from economic(kasar duk ta rikice, ba ka ji da kanka ba balle mata hudu), to the attitude of men nowadays. I beleive the treat them equally doctrine relates more to material than emotional balancing, duk abin da kama wata to sai ka yi ma yar uwarta but no one can be expected to divide his emotions into three or four and dish them out in equal measure. And i really cant understand why some men feel the need to make eacj spouse feel special by gossiping about the other, su kuma matan they lap it all up ayi ta competition na burge maigida. Stories abound of mata yan aljanna that not only encourage their husbands to marry again ( a taimaka ma kannammu da uka rasa), but welcome the amarya wholeheartedly till maybe she decides to upstage her host and the make the house her home exclusively.

Wani phenomenom kuma shine mata su dage wai su ba za a musu kishiya ba , su yi kememe suna zazzaga balai a gida, over their dead body!! Sai ka ce ba su taba jin concept din ba, some one told his wife " ke ba yar kishiya ba ce, da ba a yi a same ki??"  Meanwhile in su ne za su shiga ko kuma abokiyarsu (ummita kina ji!!)  to its ok, amma woe betide you ka musu maganar amarya.

Bottom line dai wannan hakurin fa sai an koma gare shi a kuma rage dogon buri yan mata!!