News:

Ramadan Mubarak!

I pray that we get the full blessings of Ramadan and may Allah (SWT) grant us more blessings in the year to come.
Amin Summa Amin.

Ramadan Kareem,

Main Menu

TEENAGE MARRIAGE:ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES

Started by hafiz amin umar, February 19, 2007, 01:49:40 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

hafiz amin umar

One of the indellible features of history right from the time immemorial is the notorious practice of teenage marriage.Teenage marriage is the bringing together of a couple in which one of them mostly the female is under tweenty years,but over twelve years of age,the practice is prevalent in most part of the world as something not to be seen as disadvantageous.Its only with the present trend of civilisation and upcourse the inanniable right of freedom of association,expression and liberty,that the practice of teenage marriage is suddenly becoming a thing of criticism and considered as a shaan.
   for the muslim worldover,its a devine inspiration that once a girl has attained the age of puberty,she is ripe for marriage,the conclusion therefore is that,it will be morallyunacceptable for a girl to remain in her parent custody after she must have reached the age of puberty,the position of islam is nearly synonymous with the tradional,native customs of mostly nigerian communities.
     In contradiction with the above,the feminist movement and general modernity, views this practice as an abuse of the human progeny leading to early pregnancies and inconsequence culminating in to some unripe deaseases,brokern homes,disloyalty among other problems.In addition to this,is the deprivation of a female child of her privilage to education,since observing both her mariage obligations and education will be almost inevitable.
        However,the proponent of teenage marriage,disregarding their counterparts,notion upholds that early marriage mutigates issues of abortion,prostitution,wandering,involvement in feminist movement among others.It also poster respect for the husband,symbolysing him as the head of the family,moreover,he is catching her young.
     In conclusion,to either validate or invalidate any of the notions,one has to strictly adhere to his religion,sect,universazability,intuition or conscience.The standpoint of an actor will allow him,choose aming the various contentions.
HAFIZ AMIN UMAR,
KANO NIGERIA,
+2348028185481,
hafizsallam@yahoo.ca
  NB.
     I want to appologise for posting my first,article to chit-chat,instead of profer site,iam sorry for that,iam new to the sites,the article is THE MENACE OF HIV/AIDS IN AFRICA,PART 2 WILL BE POSTED IN THIS SITE IN SHA ALLAH.   

Muhsin

Well written and topical thread. Keep it up.
By the way, I couldn't fathom your position toward the notion, if I may say.
Get to know [and remember] Allah in prosperity & He will know  [and remember] you in adversity.

HUSNAA

In Yarinya teenager ba waliyyi zata aura ba, wanda yasan ka idojin aure yadda ya kamata, in this day and age, cutar yarinyar kawai za ayi if she is married off as a 12 or 15yr old. Maybe 18 is OK. But I certainly wont recommend it. Not bcos I go against addini, but bcos those who advocate for it wont do it justice at all either, cos they are all a pack of igno-'rasmusens' ;D
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Dan-Borno

#3
Sank u beri much 5 star general. 
A friend of mine married a 14 years old girl - hmm, it took us another 3 years of baby-sitting (how to eat, how to cook, how to do it, and lots more.

So, i see no any reason why this mistake must continue.

The misconception is this:

Quote from: hafiz amin umar on February 19, 2007, 01:49:40 PM
   for the muslim worldover,its a devine inspiration that once a girl has attained the age of puberty,she is ripe for marriage,the conclusion therefore is that,it will be morallyunacceptable for a girl to remain in her parent custody after she must have reached the age of puberty,the position of islam is nearly synonymous with the tradional,native customs of mostly nigerian communities.

What is the age of puberty? is menstruation only the sign of poberty?
except we come to a conclusion on the above questions, divorce problem will continue growing rapidly.
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

HUSNAA

Quote from: Dan-Borno on February 22, 2007, 02:00:01 PM
Sank u beri much 5 star general. 
A friend of mine married a 14 years old girl - hmm, it took us another 3 years of baby-sitting (how to eat, how to cook, how to do it, and lots more.
Dan Borno, you fit kill pesin with laughter oooooooooooo!! Babysitting indeed!! Talk of catching 'em young... 'yar kauye ce hala. I cant imagine a 14 yr old 'yar birni being this much of a problem!! Unless ur friend is too fastidious. In which case why did he do it in the first place anyway??
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Dan-Borno

"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

HUSNAA

Quote from: Dan-Borno on February 22, 2007, 03:17:20 PM
Quote from: HUSNAA on February 22, 2007, 02:51:56 PM
ur friend is too fastidious.

You got it 100%, i think he will never repeat it again!
lol Dan Borno, zanyi ciwon ciki saboda dariya!! He will never repeat it again...TOO LATE!! hahahahaha!!
This is like killing yrself to feel what it is like!! U dont get a second chance!!
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

hayat

Quote from: HUSNAA on February 22, 2007, 01:16:31 PM
In Yarinya teenager ba waliyyi zata aura ba, wanda yasan ka idojin aure yadda ya kamata, in this day and age, cutar yarinyar kawai za ayi if she is married off as a 12 or 15yr old. Maybe 18 is OK. But I certainly wont recommend it. Not bcos I go against addini, but bcos those who advocate for it wont do it justice at all either, cos they are all a pack of igno-'rasmusens' ;D

Why 18...

NewEte

Dan Borno, in the west, they will jail your friend's ass so tey, when he is released, he'll be using walking stick

lionger

Hmmm.

Dan Borno,
QuoteWhat is the age of puberty? is menstruation only the sign of poberty?
I think the onset of menstruation (menarche) is probably the definitive development in puberty because of its implications for possible fertility. However, the age at which menarche or any of the other puberty-associated developments occur, could be between 12 and 20, depending on enviromental, socio-economic, genetic and psychological factors. Of course the ladies in here know more about these things and should correct me if I'm wrong.

lionger

#10


Hafiz, welcome to Kano Online! 8)

Quotefor the muslim worldover,its a devine inspiration that once a girl has attained the age of puberty,she is ripe for marriage,the conclusion therefore is that,it will be morallyunacceptable for a girl to remain in her parent custody after she must have reached the age of puberty,the position of islam is nearly synonymous with the tradional,native customs of mostly nigerian communities.

Really, is this true? Is this view truly supported by the Quran? I am a non-muslim and as such I'd like to see the basis for this premise.

QuoteIn contradiction with the above,the feminist movement and general modernity, views this practice as an abuse of the human progeny leading to early pregnancies and inconsequence culminating in to some unripe deaseases,brokern homes,disloyalty among other problems.In addition to this,is the deprivation of a female child of her privilage to education,since observing both her mariage obligations and education will be almost inevitable.

Western attitudes to foreign cultures can often be stemmed in ignorance, but that doesn't mean that they are always wrong. For one thing, the socio-economic implications are plain (education?); also health concerns are obvious.  Apparently child pregnancies are the leading cause of death in teenage girls in developing countries, according to one study. See this link:

http://www.bmj.com/cgi/content/full/328/7449/1152-a

QuoteHowever,the proponent of teenage marriage,disregarding their counterparts,notion upholds that early marriage mutigates issues of abortion,prostitution,wandering,involvement in feminist movement among others.It also poster respect for the husband,symbolysing him as the head of the family,moreover,he is catching her young.

I don't think there is sufficient basis for this argument. Some of the 'advantages' given here are downright laughable - such as the idea that teenage marriage prevents 'involvement in feminist movement'  ;D ;D LOL!!! Who came up with that one?? The argument about establishing the husband as the head of the family does not sit well in my mind; in fact it is a bit disturbing. We know that most men in these marriages are a lot older, and I daresay that any 30+ male that cannot feel like the head of his family unless his wife is a teenager or pre-teen ought not to get married at all. Teenage marriage proponents had better have better arguments than that!

lionger

btw guys,

This subject was discussed here once b4, on a thread Moray started that was originally about 'potential' child abuse in Roman catholic churches in Nigeria.  If you are interested you can click the link below to read; it will take you to the first post that focuses on child marriages in Nigeria, which subsequently becomes the main topic of discussion for a while.

http://kanoonline.com/smf/index.php?topic=2165.msg22810#msg22810

Dave McEwan Hill

When I was in Kano a number of us (Nigerians and expatriates) were financially supporting a clinic run by a Dutch doctor in Katsina.
He had sometimes as many as thirty very young girls waiting for recontructive surgery who had suffered serious injury giving birth when a particular part of their bodies was not fully developed.
The nature of their injuries ,which meant they discharged continuously and smelt, meant that most of them had been abandoned by their husbands.
I can think of no more illustrative example against child brides.

Dave McEwan Hill

alkanawi

This issue invariabaly progresses from teenage marriage to teenage pregnancy. Opponets cite the sorry state of teenage maternal mortality,complications,and problems as a strong reason for its abolishment.Nobody hardly ever talks about the mental and psychological readiness of a young girl being a  wife as well as a mother(Only Husnaa alluded to that in her post).
If the physiological as opposed to the psychological state of the person then becomes the issue,a careful look at the matter will reveal some descrepancies.
For example the age of consent in the following countries is given as follows

Spain                                                                           =13 yrs
Austria,Bulgaria,Croatia,Estonia,Iceland,Italy,Portugal,Canada = 14 yrs
Czech,Denmark,France,Greece,Sweden                               = 15 yrs
Source:Wikipedia;Age of consent

One would be forgiven if he comes to the conclusion it is not the pregnancy per se that the people are against,but the marriage in itself.This is because it is deemed legal to have sex with 13- 15 yrs old in the above countries in so far as they consent to the act,but is regarded as criminal to marry such persons.

A report by The Telegraph(UK) of 23/02/07, stated that  "Official evaluation of the Government's Teenage Pregnancy Strategy provided further confirmation that providing teenagers with greater access to family planning does not appear to work in reducing pregnancy rates." This strategy includes "providing the morning-after pill to teenagers free of charge at pharmacies",  "provide abortions and birth control to under-16s without parental knowledge". There was even the suggestion by a UK government study that encouraging schoolchildren to experiment with oral sex could prove the most effective way of curbing teenage pregnancy rates,according to a report by The Observer of May 9,2004(Wa iya zu biLLAH) 

Recently a Professor of sociology in Glasgow university Mattew Waites has added his voice to those calling for reduction in the age of consent from 16 to 14 in Britain.Other studies have shown that fixing the age of consent at 16 criminalises above 50% of young people in UK(INTERNATIONAL CHILD AND YOUTH CARE NETWORK)

When i first visited a certain city in Europe, i  was disturbed by the number of babies being accompanied by their younger seniors('yan yayyen su)walking around in city centers,shops,fast food outlets etc.My neck was sore from trying to catch a glimpse of those heartless parents,whom i assume had left them to wander.
As soon as i got back home i phoned my friend to express my outrage at the wanton disregard for childrens well being what with all the stories we are hearing of perverts and co.To my utter surprise the guy burst out laughing and calling me JJC,he explained that those little senior sisters(to use a Nigerian phrase) are in actual fact the mothers of those kids.Since then i have become wiser.

Now before you accuse me of digressing,i am just trying to show the prevalence, almost acceptance, of premarital teenage sex in western societies and at the same time the near total condemnation of teenage marriage,(halllllllllllllooooooooooooo)

With the near epidemic proportion of TP in those societies,there is minimal reported cases of teenage maternal mortality or VVF as implied by another contributor.I would hazard an unscientific guess that it has to do with the level,sophistication,and affordability of healthcare.

"According to Alice Wiseman, a teenage pregnancy coordinator, the most important thing to do was to support young people to enable them to make informed decisions about what is best for them.
"We need to provide different information for different young people. It's about tailoring the provision and the support for the most appropriate needs of that person," she told Radio Five Live.

Young Parent's Advisor Julie Jeffrey agreed saying those young who did chose to have a baby could be fantastic parents. "The age is not what is relevant, it's the quality of the parenting and the support given to enable them to be effective parents.""" www.bbc.co.uk:Teenage Pregnacy Hotspots Tackled

so what is the solution?







"corgito ergo sum"

lionger

Sup alkanawi. You've written a good post up there, and you've brought up a very important point. But I disagree with you on one point. Teenage pregnancy is actually seen as a cause of concern in the West. However, I agree that West does have a contrarian stance on this issue. Premarital teenage sex is tolerated, yet on the other hand teenage marriage is frowned upon. Moreover, you have an age of consent (13,14,15) that is much lower than the legal marriageable age (18-20). And I'll tell you why this is: it is because sex has been taken out of the marriage and pregnancy context in Western consciousness. Here sex is not just for husband and wife, but for any two consenting legal adults. For young people especially, the pleasure of sex has become a goal and an end - rather than a means to an end - and as such it is one of the major idols of Western society. That's why sex is so prevalent on TV, movies and other mass media. Everyone wants to have sex, but few aren't willing or ready to deal with the obvious consequences (pregnancy) and fewer are even thinking of marriage. People want to have sex, but most aren't necessarily keen on the commitment that should come along with it. The availability and promotion of 'safe sex' and birth control methods  - and in some places abortion  - ensures that this practice of sex 'without strings attached' can continue - as is exemplified in part of your post. ). In all this I find myself much closer to Muslims and strictly at odds with mainstream Western thought. IMHO, if you're not ready for marriage, you're not ready for sex, period.

What this means, though, is that teenage pregnancy in the West is not the same as teenage pregnancy in other parts of the world, especially the underdeveloped world. In the latter, teenage pregnancy almost always occurs within marriage and is a desired and 'planned' event. But in sharp contrast, teenage pregnancy in the West is unwanted and a social problem; most pregnant teens didn't want to get pregnant, and much less married. As such, in some places like Canada, up to half of teenage pregnancies end in abortion.

So this brings us back to our society. We (sub-Saharan Africa) have the highest rates of teenage pregnancy in the world - above 10%. Nigeria's rate is about 100 per 1000 heads (about 10%). In Europe, the rate is lower than 1%; in the US and Canada, around 3% I think. So if there's any epidemic in teenage pregnancies in the world, its in our society first and foremost. Noting these facts, I will now post the contents of the article I posted a link to earlier, which points out the grim consequences for a good deal of pregnant teens in sub-Saharan Africa. This will be in a separate post.