LADY IN BLUE

[Waziri]

LADY IN BLUE

(For the beautiful, young, shy-looking, dishy, delicious maiden that could smilingly wave at Waziri on the 21st January)

I stumbled into the soft light of her beautiful face

Wrapped in the shade of her sky-blue dress



In her blue dress



Revealing her glittering teeth she kindled her smiles

That lit into the depth of souring but resentful hearts



With a wave of a hand

She waves a way sorrows

Savors moments

Make beautiful dreams of hours



In her blue dress



An acme in creations



The Goddess of the beautifuls

The eight wonder of the worlds



In her blue dress



Mhhmmm?

A heaven found.

[Muhammad]

Salams

Mallam Waziri with a little bit of background music, your poem can easily be converted into a song (A chart bursting song perhaps). what about making the poems here public? you know professional actors making the poems sound more.......poetic and business oriented.

Keep it up.

[ummita]

This is one heavy piece!!!!!!!!! Waz

[Waziri]

Salams

Mallam Waziri with a little bit of background music, your poem can easily be converted into a song (A chart bursting song perhaps). what about making the poems here public? you know professional actors making the poems sound more.......poetic and business oriented.

Keep it up.

Aminuddeen Thanks for d comment. But public and business oriented as how? :).

Amin check d other topic Hausa fulani and future on the general board I have replied you.

[Fulanizzle]

aiight, its hot in herre

[Ibro2g]

this one is hot, but believe me, waz...there is still no match 4 da one u gave 2 mi. completely non.

[Anonymous]

tHIS IS A GOOD POEM, Sooooooo who is the lady in blue?

[Waziri]

Anwar thanks 4 d comment,
Anwar do u think u will  know her if I tell u her name?

[Nas]

Waziri tell us. We are all eared

[Humrah]

This one is not good since it was not meant for me :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

[_Waziri_]

You joke alot Humrah, you really make me laugh.

[Fulani Poet]

Nice work, Waziri!

The poem captures those moments that chance upon us but which we savour for a long time!

I feel you just need to tighten it a bit to give it more bite. The 'souring but resentful hearts' seems to give a different meaning to the feeling being expresed by the poet. Perhaps you can find more apt words to describe what you mean? In the 8th line, 'a way' should be 'away.' To make the tenses uniform, 'make' at the begining of line 10 should be 'makes.' And in the 14th line, I guess you wanted to write the 'eighth' wonder of the world?

Good piece, keep 'em coming!