FIVE QUESTIONS MEN FEAR

[kitkat]

The 5 questions most feared by men are:  

1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat in this?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?  

What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analysed below, along with possible responses.  

Question 1: What are you thinking about?  

The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you." This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:  

a. Football.
b. Golf.
c. How fat you are.
d. How much prettier she is than you
e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.  

Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!"  

Question 2: Do you love me?  

The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear." Inappropriate responses include:  

a. Oh Yeah, shit-loads.
b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c. That depends on what you mean by love.
d. Does it matter?
e. Who, me?  

Question 3: Do I look fat?  

The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Among the incorrect answers are:  

a. Compared to what?
b. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
d. I've seen fatter.
e. Sorry what did you say ? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.  

Question 4: Do you think she's prettier than me?  

Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Incorrect responses include:  

a. Yes, but you have a better personality.
b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner.
c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age.
d. Define pretty.
e. Sorry what did you say ? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.  

Question 5: What would you do if I died?  

A definite no-win question.(The real answer, of course, is "Buy a Lotus and a Boat"). No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along the these lines:  

WOMAN: Would you get married again?
MAN: Definitely not!
WOMAN: Why not - don't you like being married?
MAN: Of course I do.
WOMAN: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
MAN: Okay, I'd get married again.
WOMAN: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)
MAN: (makes audible groan)
WOMAN: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
MAN: Where else would we sleep?
WOMAN: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
MAN: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
WOMAN: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
MAN: She can't use them; she's left-handed.
WOMAN: - - - silence - - -
MAN: s**t.

[Nuruddeen]

This is really marvelous kitkat. I can even call these questions the "five unescapables".

[bobboss]

when she asked me only one of the question ie {WHEN I DIE WILL U RE-MARRY] the question almost seperate us .just pray not to be asked

[gogannaka]

LOL......Thanx a lot kit kat.....
The answers were soooo diplomatic.......Kawai dai a zauna lafiya.

[precious]

hah haha veerrryyy funny :evil:

[Humrah]

I think it is only Nigerian women who ask these questions. In Malaysia, my home country, women are dutiful.

[Fateez]

I think it is only Nigerian women who ask these questions. In Malaysia, my home country, women are dutiful.

ummm...it's kinda a worldwide thing, most women ask these questions u know.

But hey i don't blame malaysian women for being so dutiful to their men

cos from what i have seen: Malaysian guys r just da best! I think Nigerian

guys ought to take special training sessions from malay guys  :roll:

[dan kauye]

fateez i dnt geddit! r ya being ironic or whut? :roll:

[sharon]

where is pimp dis room is get really unstuffy 4 me :roll:

[mlbash]

where is pimp dis room is get really unstuffy 4 me :roll:

in a specialistic way, an samu sharon saura sylvester stallon. :lol:

[mlbash]

I think it is only Nigerian women who ask these questions. In Malaysia, my home country, women are dutiful.

I HEARD THAT IN YOUR HOME COUNTRY, WOMEN USE TO CHASE MEN 'COS THEY OUT NUMBERED THE MEN BREATHTAKINGLY! HOW TRUTH IT IS? AND IF YES, WHO ARE CHASING IN K-ONLINE. :lol: