News:

Ramadan Mubarak!

I pray that we get the full blessings of Ramadan and may Allah (SWT) grant us more blessings in the year to come.
Amin Summa Amin.

Ramadan Kareem,

Main Menu

Nikah Misyar

Started by Dan-Borno, October 04, 2010, 04:09:38 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Dan-Borno

"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

bakangizo

I'm not really comfortable with this type of marriage. And in a country like ours where marriage ideals are not strongly respected, this just a way of giving people th eopportunity to be as irresponsible as possible. I agree with those who term this marriage a just commercializing sex. Even in Egypt, where it is practiced, it is coming under increasingly heavy opposition. I remember a report about a girl who complained that her "husband" got her pregnant, left and abandoned her because he is not under any 'bond' to cater for her. The Schools over there are getting awashed with such young girls/women.

Dan-Borno

quite impressive bakangizo, however, we are supposed to give
it a fair look as long as it is halal and permitted, any other malicious
use of it should be treated differently.

"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

bakangizo

#3
And that's the problem! Is it halal? ;D Ya kamata malaman forum suyi mana bayani.

bamalli

Well done Dan Borno Nikah Misyar is Halal, but with some conditions,for more informations Read the book"NIKAH al-MISYAR' by Dr. YUSUF ALQARDAWI.

gogannaka

Below is a little comprehensive information about Nikah Misyar from wikipedia.org.
It says alot about this type of marriage:

Nikah Misyar (Arabic: المسيار) or "travelers' marriage" is a Muslim Nikah (Marriage) carried out via the normal contractual procedure, with the specificity that the husband and wife give up several rights by their own free will, such as living together, equal division of nights between wives in cases of polygamy, the wife's rights to housing, and maintenance money ("nafaqa"), and the husband's right of homekeeping, and access etc
Essentially the couple continue to live separately from each other, as before their contract, and see each other to fulfil their needs in a permissible (halaal) manner when they please.

Background and causes

Some people consider that the misyar marriage can meet the needs of young people whose resources are too limited to settle down in a separate home; of divorcees, widows or widowers, who have their own residence and their own financial resources but cannot, or do not want to marry again according to the usual formula; and of slightly elder people who have not tasted the joys of marriage.
Islamic lawyers add that this type of marriage fits the needs of a conservative society which punishes "zina" (fornication) and other sexual relationships which are established outside a marriage contract. Thus, some Muslim foreigners working in the Persian Gulf countries prefer to engage in the misyar marriage rather than live alone for years. Many of them are actually already married with wives and children in their home country, but they cannot bring them to the region.

Misyar Marriage in practice

In addition to the preceding cases, wealthy Arab men sometimes enter into a Misyar marriage while on vacation, in order to have sexual relations with another woman without committing the sin of zina. They usually divorce the women once their holiday is over. However, that if this is understood by both parties at the time of conclusion of the marriage contract (and this is usually the case), this would constitute a fixed time period, effectively making such a marriage invalid in Sunni law, and more akin to the Nikah Mut'ah.
The Sheikh of al-Azhar Mosque Muhammad Sayyid Tantawi and theologian Yusuf Al-Qaradawi note, in their writings and in their lectures, that a major proportion of the men who take a spouse in the framework of the misyar marriage are already married men.
Many of the men involved would not marry a second wife within the regime of normal Islamic polygamy, because of the heavy financial burdens, moral obligations & responsibilities it places on the husband. But, they opt for the option of misyar marriage when the theologians declare it licit.

Legality of misyar marriage

Misyar marriage fits within the general rules of marriage in Sunni law, on condition merely that it fulfil all the requirements of the Shariah marriage contract i.e:
The agreement of both parties;
Two legal witnesses (Shahidain)
The payment by the husband to his wife of Mahr in the amount that is agreed
The absence of a fixed time period for the contract
Shuroot, Any particular stipulations which the two parties agree to include in the contract and which are in conformity with Muslim marriage law.
Moreover, as explained by the Saudi Islamic lawyer Abdullah bin Sulaiman bin Menie, a member of the Higher Council of Ulema of Saudi Arabia, the wife can denounce at any time, as she sees fit, her renunciation of her financial rights, and require of her husband that he give her all her rights, including that he live with her and provide for her financial needs ("nafaqa"). The husband can then either do so, or grant her a divorce.
But, if the renunciation provision is the only feature which distinguishes misyar from a standard marriage, and if it has no legal standing, does misyar represent a separate category of marriage in Muslim law?
Further, is it legitimate for Muslim notaries to include in a contract provisions which have no legal standing, although the contracting parties mistakenly believe that they are the foundations and the necessary conditions to be met for the conclusion of the contract? For that matter, if the spouses are told by the notaries, at the time of conclusion of the contract, that the renunciation clauses have no legal value, what effect would that have on the spouses' willingness to get married?
For these reasons, Professor Yusuf Al-Qaradawi observes that he does not promote this type of marriage, although he has to recognise that it is legal, since it fulfils all the requirements of the usual marriage contract. He states his preference that the clause of renunciation be not included within the marriage contract, but be the subject of a simple verbal agreement between the parties. He underlines the fact that Muslims are held by their commitments, whether they are written or verbal.

Criticism of misyar

Islamic scholars like Ibn Uthaimeen or Al-Albani claim, for their part, that misyar marriage may be legal, but not moral. They agree that the wife can at any time, reclaim the rights which she gave up at the time of contract. But, they are opposed to this type of marriage on the grounds that it contradicts the spirit of the Islamic law of marriage and that it has perverse effects on the woman, the family and the community in general.
For Al-Albani, misyar marriage may even be considered as illicit, because it runs counter to the objectives and the spirit of marriage in Islam, as described in this verse from the Quran :
"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts)..."
Al-Albani also underlines the social problems which result from the "misyar" marriage, particularly in the event that children are born from this union. The children raised by their mother in a home from which the father is always absent, without reason, may suffer difficulties. The situation becomes even worse if the wife is abandoned or repudiated by her husband "misyar", with no means of subsistence, as usually happens.
As for Ibn Uthaymeen, he recognizes the legality of "misyar" marriage from the Shariah standpoint, but considers that it should be opposed because it has been turned into a real merchandise that is being marketed on a large scale by "marriage agencies", with no relation to the nature of Islamic marriage.
Critics of this marriage observe, more generally, that this type of marriage usually ends up in divorce. As a result the wife finds herself abandoned, forced to lead a solitary life as she had before the marriage, but traumatized by the experience, while her social status and reputation degraded.
The proponents of the misyar marriage, though they recognize that it can result in problems, observe that it doesn't have a monopoly on them. The problems result, more generally, from the way in which people apply the rules of the Shariah.
Today, in a large number of Muslim countries, there are official family and marriage law codes whose provisions wouldn't allow the conclusion of a marriage of the misyar type. However, in a number of Gulf States essentially, misyar marriage is accepted by the community and is usually arranged privately through a notary and with no publicity.
A comparison with Nikah Mut'ah

According to a Shī'as, Mut'ah is permitted, but Misyar is considered to be prohibited by Shias, though it is not forbidden in Sunnis. The similarity between Mut'ah and Misyar is that both of them are the kinds of Nikah and both require all the conditions applicable to Nikah. Nonetheless, in Misyar the couple voluntarily give up some of their rights, e.g., living together. Mut'ah, unlike ordinary Nikah, has a fixed date of expiry.
Every Nikah in Sunnis whether ordinary or not requires two adult male witnesses, whereas in Shī'as witnesses are not required in Muta'h. Shī'a divorce requires two witnesses, whereas Sunni divorce can be executed by mere pronouncement of the words.
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

bakangizo

Thank you goga. Now everything is more clearly explained. I tend to be more comfortable with Albani's position regarding this type of marriage. It may be legal, I fear the social and moral issues that may likely be the result if it is widely practised.

Dan-Borno

the socio-economic problem facing arewa as at now really calls
for this type of marriage - this is where i stand now.

Scenario
Balkisu works with one of naija's financial institution, she graduated
from the university ten years ago and since then have been in the
banking sector all her life.

She is very comfortable with her job, she just finished building her
new house, bought a car and wants to settle finally with a life time
partner.

Balkisu met Malam Inuwa who sells carrot by the road side, she
admired his sincerity, sense of humour and masculinity.

She approached him, but he informed her that he is financially not
conscious to marry a second wife.  She now suggest that if they
are to practice nikah al-misyar, he will no longer bother to provide
shelter, food, clothing or sustainance for her.  Sai wardo kawai.

dont you think this will free Balkisu from any temptation of zina?
________________________________________________________

ku bar batun cewa some1 is going to use it maliciously, it goes with
every other sector of the religion.

 
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

Abu-Fatima

DB,
I like your line of arguement. The big question is how do we move from theory to practice? Will you create a more practical avenue for prospectives to meet?

bakangizo

Quote from: Dan-Borno on October 18, 2010, 08:55:39 PM
the socio-economic problem facing arewa as at now really calls
for this type of marriage - this is where i stand now.

Scenario
Balkisu works with one of naija's financial institution, she graduated
from the university ten years ago and since then have been in the
banking sector all her life.

She is very comfortable with her job, she just finished building her
new house, bought a car and wants to settle finally with a life time
partner.

Balkisu met Malam Inuwa who sells carrot by the road side, she
admired his sincerity, sense of humour and masculinity.

She approached him, but he informed her that he is financially not
conscious to marry a second wife.  She now suggest that if they
are to practice nikah al-misyar, he will no longer bother to provide
shelter, food, clothing or sustainance for her.  Sai wardo kawai.

dont you think this will free Balkisu from any temptation of zina?
________________________________________________________

ku bar batun cewa some1 is going to use it maliciously, it goes with
every other sector of the religion.

 


Okay. I see the logic. But consider this:- Malan Inuwa yaji dadin Nikah Misyar. Ya ga ashe garabasa ne. So he looked for another Balkisu, and another and another till he got four. Since he doesn't have to do anything, sai "wardo" kawai  ;D Ya ci gaba da 'wardo baji ba gani, since he has no responsibility for either the wives or  the resultant multitudes of kids; their education, feeding, accomodation and most importantly, tarbiyyansu. Dukk randa ya gaji sai ya kori one of the Balkisus (or all of them) since he has nothing at stake. Sai yara su tashi ba uba, ba tarbiyya. Or will Balkisu respect Malam Inuwa in the long run considering that she's not dependent on him for anything other than 'wardo', which she can just exercise her right of divorse (if it's in the pre-agreement) and get another Malam Inuwa for that? The cycle goes on. This is just one of the many possible scenarios that may come up.

I have nothing against it. Just that I fear it may be grossly abused by our people.

Abu-Fatima

Hakane. That's the ugly side of it! Now we are left the devils alternative: to make a choice amongst the 2 evils. Which is lesser? Well to do women to subsidize themselves, to make themselves available and affordable to weak men and those that love to shy away from responsibilities, just to be called married women OR men to have the choice of women with little or no responsibility attached? And the big question which no society can afford to ignore: child upbringing. Or are we to expect a brand of Islam sanctioned single parenthood. I think to make the choice we need to think of these women as our sisters, daughters or the very wives we are living with today who may become widows when we assumed full citizenship of the land of the dead.

gogannaka

I believe if at all this kind of marriage should be embarked upon there should be a binding agreement that there will be no offspring from such marriage.

Ask yourselves this question sha:
Would you allow your daughter to embark on this kind of marriage?
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Dan-Borno

what we should all bear in mind is that, just because someone
is going to misuse it does not make it illegal or not to be encouraged.

@ Gogannaka, if you are interested, i have a sister who works in
Abuja right now and very willing if you are interested - it might be
our acid test lol.

every law has a negative side but only when applied with that intent.
there is a reason behind every law and if nikah misyar is meant to solve
a particular problem it should not be castigated because of improper
placement for a different purpose.

the issue of rising or not raising a child depends on the couple.  if the
man deems fit he can take care of his child, so be it and if it is the
woman who prefer to take care of her child, that one is even much
easier, especially here in Nigeria where most of the upbringing of
children is solely shouldered on the woman, the participation of men
in this, is very meagre (NO ONE WILL ARGUE AGAINST THIS) so, if the
woman in misyar prefers to take charge of her children, fine, dama
she is a professional in upbringing of child.

Bakangizo, did i read you say, divorce this and marry this? this has been
in our society for a very long period, you can refer to our comatose
thread on BAZAWARA/BAZAWARI.

"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

bakangizo

Quote from: Dan-Borno on October 20, 2010, 09:30:00 AM

Bakangizo, did i read you say, divorce this and marry this? this has been
in our society for a very long period...



Yes. And look how we've been battling with the menace. Now should we make it easier for the'perpetrators' to continue to have a field day? Because that's precisely what you are asking for the moment you popularise this type of marriage, where it is permitted to marry and divorce anytime you want without any strings attached.

Muhsin

This zawaajul misyar stuff sounds interesting. I'll, inshaAllah, say more shortly.
Get to know [and remember] Allah in prosperity & He will know  [and remember] you in adversity.