Author Topic: This Pretty Face  (Read 13967 times)

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Offline Jibo

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This Pretty Face
« on: August 22, 2008, 11:18:44 AM »
This Pretty Face
This pretty smile
These unsoiled eyes
And the radiant face
All on the glossy paper fixed

All these are but too much
For rough faced laden like me
I cannot stand the falling mystery
Of an unwanted affair
for such a belated time

How I wish this smile
This pretty face
These unsoiled eyes
And the truth about the radiant face
Are all but to nature come

And that the moment to this imitation make
To eternity shall yield its pleasure
But alas! Nay nature befriend reality not
Nor shall the wicked hands of time
Glimmer the pleasure to tarry for a while
But swiftly hasten to its fateful age
And the pleasure to naught shall come

That is my pretty lament
And my aching soul
Jibo
« Last Edit: September 08, 2008, 06:07:20 PM by Jibo »
A lazy youth is definitely a begging adult! Bata hankalin Dare ka yi suna!: Fas'alu ahalil zikri, inkuntum la ta'alamun!

Offline gogannaka

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Re: This Pretty Face
« Reply #1 on: August 24, 2008, 08:36:08 PM »
Jibo is there a story behind the poem?
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Offline Jibo

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Re: This Pretty Face
« Reply #2 on: August 24, 2008, 09:11:55 PM »
Haka ne Gogannaka,

For every hardship there is relief. For every piece there is a story. It is deep in the inner heart. Only this type of rapture may capture or reveal it somehow.
A lazy youth is definitely a begging adult! Bata hankalin Dare ka yi suna!: Fas'alu ahalil zikri, inkuntum la ta'alamun!

Offline GoodFella

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Re: This Pretty Face
« Reply #3 on: September 02, 2008, 12:59:48 PM »
Jibo,
Can't we be told the story?
Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if he or she were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness, and understanding you can muster, and do so with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.
Og Mandino (Motivational Author & Speaker)

Offline Dan-Borno

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Re: This Pretty Face
« Reply #4 on: September 02, 2008, 05:35:38 PM »
jibo, i am also interested in this story, i dont
mind getting the edited one.
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

Offline Jibo

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Re: This Pretty Face
« Reply #5 on: September 03, 2008, 10:14:20 AM »
Well, you see Danborno and Goodfella, amma dai tukuna ya azumi da fatan za mu ga karshen wannan wata lafia. Allah Ya samu cikin cetattu.

It is difficult to tell a story the way it should be, that is why i chose to write a poem about it. My story may not necessarily get the points expressed in the poem. In adition, I am a very bad story teller. I am good at reducing it to a poem. But I will give it a trial to make it brief only if there are other members who are interested in this story. It may not be too good a story. You know when one would give a bad story, he would like to get good audience that would give him a good criticism.
A lazy youth is definitely a begging adult! Bata hankalin Dare ka yi suna!: Fas'alu ahalil zikri, inkuntum la ta'alamun!

Offline Dan-Borno

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Re: This Pretty Face
« Reply #6 on: September 03, 2008, 11:09:17 AM »
jibo ke nan, you can check the CRUSH thread and
see how guys narrate their stories, we will be
waiting to read your story.
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

Offline Jibo

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Re: This Pretty Face
« Reply #7 on: September 05, 2008, 11:00:43 PM »
Well Dan-Borno, any way barka da shan ruwa.

Let's see if we can together build a story around the poem's lines. Like a game, I can start while somone continues from where I stop by interpreting the lines of the poem. Can we make story out of it? May be at the end it will make the real story or something else. Can we try?
A lazy youth is definitely a begging adult! Bata hankalin Dare ka yi suna!: Fas'alu ahalil zikri, inkuntum la ta'alamun!

Offline gogannaka

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Re: This Pretty Face
« Reply #8 on: September 06, 2008, 08:06:11 PM »
This Pretty Face
This pretty smile
These unsoiled eyes
And the radiant face

Jibo

She is pretty


How I wish this smile
This pretty face
These unsoiled eyes
And the truth about the radiant face
Are all but to nature come

Maybe it was a crush as DB suggested.
Her beauty attracted you but you felt she was too good for you.
At the same time,you seem to be convinced that her beauty isn't natural.
Nevertheless you stll had the crush but with time you concluded that she was
not your kind.

Haka ne?
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Offline Jibo

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Re: This Pretty Face
« Reply #9 on: September 06, 2008, 10:31:28 PM »
Well, Gogannaka,
Let us not attach our story to anybody. The lines you tried to interprete may be this way: a man saw a picture of a pretty lady with radiant smile and laments that her pretty face would have been so naturally and forever. We assume he knows her and watching the pretty face he stated the lines...
A lazy youth is definitely a begging adult! Bata hankalin Dare ka yi suna!: Fas'alu ahalil zikri, inkuntum la ta'alamun!

Offline Muhsin

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Re: This Pretty Face
« Reply #10 on: September 09, 2008, 12:38:07 PM »
Hey bros Jibo, kudos to ya!

Being partly a student of English, yet I particularly at times find it difficult to be able to neither write poems nor fathom what others have written (poems). Surprisingly enough, I read you somewhere above saying you barely sit to write stories but prefer short, short poems that cover full story in few lines of words. LOL...meye na rowar kalmomin ;D ;D ;D Yeah, I well know writing lenthy piece is tedious and time consuming BUT thats what I do than...poems. :D :D

Individual differences.

I'm too wating to read the story of yourpoem.
Get to know [and remember] Allah in prosperity & He will know  [and remember] you in adversity.

Offline Jibo

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Re: This Pretty Face
« Reply #11 on: September 11, 2008, 07:21:41 AM »
Salam. Muhsin,
It is surprising to find someone who is partly a student of English! Do you mean a part-time student? Well, as I am naive in writing story, but sine i NOW DISCOVER you as one who writes story, I am glad. You can suggest, the plot, the begginning, the middle and the end. I hope it will be a hilarious one! Not that one that brings about 'ciwon ciki'! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
A lazy youth is definitely a begging adult! Bata hankalin Dare ka yi suna!: Fas'alu ahalil zikri, inkuntum la ta'alamun!

Offline Dan-Borno

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Re: This Pretty Face
« Reply #12 on: September 11, 2008, 11:03:23 AM »
Jibo, dont mind Muhsin's English, kasan he was taught
English in the Queen's Chamber a chan UK, so dont give
them direct translation or else you will never understand
him.

My question is on "this unsoiled eyes", gaskiya ina
bukatan lecture mai zaman kanta akan wannan magana
yayi min dadi sosai.
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

Offline Muhsin

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Re: This Pretty Face
« Reply #13 on: September 11, 2008, 01:46:43 PM »
Jibo,

My major at university is education but combined with English, i.e BA (Ed) English. Think I can call myself: partly a student of English. LOL ;D ;D ;D

DB,

Nagode da wannan cin fuskar! >:(
Get to know [and remember] Allah in prosperity & He will know  [and remember] you in adversity.

Offline gogannaka

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Re: This Pretty Face
« Reply #14 on: September 12, 2008, 07:36:44 PM »
LOL,Muhsin you are an english language student,no more no less and you have a task at hand now, which will be part of your CA:
Deduce in no more than 150 words, a forfeiting story from the poem above (this pretty face by Jibo).
The story should include the plot, the beginning,the middle and the end as suggested by the author.
You are given 3 days to submit the work on this thread.Failure to do so will result in your being subjected to DB's punishment,in whatever way and manner he pleases.

Jibo you will do the marking.
« Last Edit: September 12, 2008, 08:57:53 PM by gogannaka »
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

 


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