Ladies uncovered: a stage by stage account

[JiboNura]

Ladies uncovered: A stage by stage account.

By

Jibo Nura

All views are strictly fictitious.
Pls.don't take it personal.


Experience being the best teacher was what made me to write this little attributions about ladies personalities (behavior(s) and appearance), which they exhibit at certain stages throughout their life span; beginning from childhood to old age. Every girl undergoes these stages of " ATTITUDINAL METAMORPHISM" (emphasis mine), without being conscious of the end result.

I might be inconsistent in my own assertions but McGuire- a psychologist once said that:

"if you ask someone simply to state his attitudes on logically related issues, any inconsistencies uncovered should induce pressures in him to change toward consistency."

Therefore, these attitudinal metamorphism are in five stages. Each stage is determined by the female's ages, witnessed from year one to thirty four and above. However, they are categorised according to the growth and development of every female at each given stage. The distinctions between them is as a result of different physical and emotional display present in both. Nonetheless, the effect of each stage, is a ?direct dividend from another.

Stage one: The stage of "utter dependency". It starts from the age of 1-14 years. Girls and even boys at this period are immature and helpless. They solely depend on their parents for food shelter clothing and accommodation. A lot of energy is expended on their career, family and social relationships coupled with their assessment and reappraisal of major life crisis such as diseases, accidents etc. This stage is further subdivided into two periods. The transition period starting from age 1-5 when they are kids. There is also the period of utmost conformity; where both girls and boys tend to adjust their thought or behavior toward group norms or standards. However this stage is less important with regards to today's discussion on ladies conundrum.

Stage two: The glorious stage; I refer to this one as glorious because ladies at this level are highly glorified with natural beauty. It begins from the age of 15-22. Females are no longer kids because they have become young ladies. Looking very beautiful, adoring, pretty and highly tantalising. Instead of them to utilise this God's given gift (G3), and start looking for someone to marry, they tend to feel as if they are on top of the world. Any guy that tries to talk, stare or even approach a girl at this period, he would be treated in a 'somewhat disgraceful manner'. Because their assumptions is that the whole world loves them. Dignity, pomposity and high affinity for material wealth (materialism) are very common with these girls. As such they tend to feel afresh like milk that had just been squeezed out of a cow's teat. Most ladies at this stage are not after average or middle class partners but men who are economically buoyant and vibrant who possessed all the pre-requisites of bettering their lives. If you don't have a nice car, beautiful house and a lucrative job, you dire not to even make any attempt at them. Few that have the guts to approach them are prone to yabbing, to borrow a term from late Fela.

Watchout brother, they are the untouchables!
Fellow girls, this is the most important stage of all in your life. Take it as a privilege, find a man, nurture a sensible relationship with him and subsequently get married. Do not be deceived by your body statures, it is just a transition with a life span of its own. But if you find this my assertion offensive, I beg your pardon. Those are the things men do. When we try to explain the behavior of yours, we tend to overestimate the role of personal factors and underestimate the influence of situations. This bias is so universal with men that it has been identified as the fundamental attribution error.

Stage three: The critical stage or the stage of uncertainty. Ranges from the age of 23 - 27. It depends on the mismanagement of the glorious stage. Ladies have started coming to their senses in this stage. In fact, this reminds me of a chat with a friend of mine - Idris Iliyasu. When I wanted to share this view with him whether he had any comment with regards to what we discussed so far. Hear him:

"The only thing that I would advice ladies is on this particular stage. They should know that this is a stage of which their condition is critical. Any delay is dangerous, as such quick solution is necessary."

Nevertheless, this is the most complicated one of all the rest. The advice here is that never be ashamed of sticking to a guy. Do not be afraid of telling him the truth about yourself. The bottom line is that you want to marry him. If he proves to be difficult you can persuade him through the following ways:

a) By improving upon your attractiveness

b) By engaging him in a logical and soft conversation. You can win his confidence since what matters in persuasion is "who says what to whom". Even though, a lot of mistakes are done by the educated ones, especially the college and campus "babes" but one can still make it. Face the reality on ground. Bear it in your mind that life is no longer the same. Lower your status and adjust so that you would have a life time patner.

Stage four: Frustration stage. It begins from age of 28 - 34. The ladies are desperately in need of boy friends at all cost. Most of the time you would find out that one's status, and / or condition does not really matter to them. If a girl could hook a guy at this level then she is very much lucky indeed. Hence she cannot afford to miss him. 'History' at this point has revealed that life is very difficult for the ladies, because guys are more or less transgressors. My advice here is that girls should be very patient with our uncompromising attitude.

The last stage: The stage of hopelessness; sometimes, I refer to this stage as "matakin shiga halin }a}ani kayi." It is between the age of 34 and above. Women have already lost hope and faith in every thing. Anything can happen. They may end up without being married throughout their lifetime. Unless they are very- very lucky, they could have someone to marry. The well to do among them could use all they have at their disposal, thus money, cars and all materialistic techniques just to marry anybody. If one happen to be a victim, "shi ke nan ka zama mijin Hajiya".

But why am I wasting my time to draw all these conclusions, since most of them might consider it as an absolute chauvinism. Poor me! I don't mean to hurt your feelings girls.

It is one thing to identify a problem and another thing to proffer a solution. Afterall, this is more of a cognitive search of a balance between men and women, and one virtue of it is that it offer shared assumptions on which to base interactions with another. And shared assumptions or shall we say shared definition of the interactive encounter can provide the oil that helps the encounter roll along a bit more smoothly.

I am not trying to convince you ladies, no! But I am trying to buttress my argument with Edward E. Sampson - an American psychologist who once said that "One of the major functional bases for the balance or consistency model is to be found in each person's efforts to test his conceptions of reality by comparing them with others".

Therefore, the one million dollar question that deserves an answer to this "assertion mythology" is that would they really accept  these five "stagiographies"?

This piece is a special dedication to Intrepid Gimbiya, Laconic Humra and Master Admin

[Ibro2g]

Well well well Jibo, you have arrived!
I must admit ur case study is verry interesting, and you have done ur home work well. But I think the million dollar question as you put it is not if they will come to grip with these five
"stagiographies", it rather is a question of how well are these 5 stagiographies?. Just what is wrong and where? Your theories look like a parabola. The rise and fall of the single lady(especially nija). With the second stage at the top. I think it should be the third.
     Now from your whereaview, at the third stage, a girl...sorry lady gets lucky and gets married, 4th stage even luckier, perhaps fith stage luckiest. You never mentioned the sixth stage though, the stage of doom that lies on the zero point of achievements, or success. Then you mentioned something about the mismanagement of the second stage, that means that is the only place they could screw up thier lives since all the other stages has to do with luck, according to you. In dat case, the identity of the problem lies in the
2nd and 3rd stages then.
    In summary, beep me if I'm wrong though, "the perfect life of a lady is for a proper management at the second stage, 15-22 right. And in doing so she has to get married at that time because it is the ideal time" is that what you are saying?, well I object.
   The idea of management, success and achievements begin in the grassroots and it does not depend on marriage but on individuals. The grassroots my friend being ur first stage. Proper training need to be giving to not just girls, but also the boys. Every kid deserves that. The second stage is more like a continuation of the first. So asuming a girl takes her say 1.2 G.P.A to another stage. If it falls, her general morality fails, and her G.P.A. falls to say 0.5. Its a continuity my friend. Marriage might be a score, but it is a score in any point. Early marrige has too many problems, and problems and
success dont go hand in hand. Planning is the key idea.
   The Ideal time for marrige is at the third stage, at this stage, maturity, counsciousness and choice have developed if not to the fullest but to the appropriate. A lady has become whom she really is without foriegn influence. This is the ideal time.
  With this stagiographies, there apparently is'nt much problem cept for human error that is. Or rather nature. There would'nt be a
grip. I ask again, how well is the grip?