Are we romantic????????????!!

[kitkat]

If the consensus is northerners are not romantic then aprta from the societal and religious influences mentioned earlier what other factors are to blame. Could it be the men? or the women?( I notice they've said little on this subject)
Come to think of it maybe romance like beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Is the western concept of "romance" being used as a yardstick?
Were there complaints of this lack of romance from earlier generations of northerners.

Personally I dont have a problem with a couple sharing the cooking and having an unhibited love life. But unnecessary public display of affection like kissing like lunatics or  fondling on the train are really not my idea of being romantic.
I have heard the theory that this kind of wanton public display is a result of a need for constant reassurance arising from an instinctive feeling of emotional insecurity.

[sa salati]

goga am rite behind ya afterall am a man,i know how it feels like 2 luv and at da same tyme 2 be luved.peeps like hausanicious and al_hamza r all hypocrites coz deep down in their mind dats wat they've been prayin 4 but aint real enuff 2 admit it,if u luk closer peeps like them r thoze dat comit da so called adultery.

[Shiekh]

Come to think of it maybe romance like beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Is the western concept of "romance" being used as a yardstick?
Were there complaints of this lack of romance from earlier generations of northerners.

Why not apply it to your own defination, afterall its your life.

But unnecessary public display of affection like kissing like lunatics or  fondling on the train are really not my idea of being romantic.

the question here is isit wise, morally,religiously and so on allowed kissing like lunatics or  fondling on the train (or in a public)?
come to think of it!

[mutuniyar]

ize]ggogan,ni dai ban san ko mata sun yi replying to this topic ba,amma dai na so na jifeed back din su
ni dai ina da yara amma duk da baban nasu yana kokari,sau dayawa ni nakan ga baya yin yadda nake so.yakan ce wai M&b din da na karanta a makaranta fa duk karya ne.shi yana kokari amma na san mata dayawa da suke da wannan problem din.ina ma mazajen su zasu karanta wannan shafin.
by d way na yarda da everything amma dai kafin ka ga maza suna girki da matansu......hmm.A dade.
also,i suggest mutane su dinka dan copying wasu daga cikin romantic gestures na turawa.the good ones and only with the wife or husband please,ba ruwana.....

[Shiekh]

Mata let us hear your view(s) on this topic, even though mutuniyar asked for it?

[straightalkin]

it seems to me that our culture is completely against such concepts as romance... we condemn it as 'dabi'ar turawa'... but i am sure that even islamically there is nothing wrong with being romantic- in fact it is a sort of duty u owe ur spouse no??? u must learn to keep each other happy by show of affection and not with material things! so why do we pretend that little displays of affection like holding hands or embracing are culturally wrong? i think northerners, both men and women should try and be more romantic towards their spouses(whether it is white man's romance or black man's romance) ....who wants to have a dull relationship???!!!!

[Shiekh]

...u must learn to keep each other happy by show of affection and not with material things! ...quote]


kitkat here is another answer :idea:

[MALAMI]

goga am rite behind ya afterall am a man,i know how it feels like 2 luv and at da same tyme 2 be luved.peeps like hausanicious and al_hamza r all hypocrites coz deep down in their mind dats wat they've been prayin 4 but aint real enuff 2 admit it,if u luk closer peeps like them r thoze dat comit da so called adultery.

AS-SALAMUALAIKUM.
DON ALLAH INA SON A DAN BANI FILI DOMIN NAYI WATA YAR JAWABI MUSANMAN ZUWA GA MALAM SA SALATI. SA SALATI A GASKIYA ZANYI MAKA YAR JAWABINAN AKAN DAYA DAGA CIKIN HALINKA DOMIN BANSAN SAURAN HALINKA BA. INA FATAN ZAKA DAUKA KUMA KAYI AIKI DA ITA BA TARE DA BACIN RAI BA. NI DAI NAKAN DAN GARZAYO FARUM DINAN SA'I-SA'I. AMMA NASAN BAN RIGA NAYI RAGISTA BA. AMMAN INA MAI TABBATAR MAKA DA CEWA NA DAN KWANA BIYU A FORUMDINNAN KUMA KA KAN KARANTA POST DIN JAMA'AN FORUM DINNAN SOSAI IDAN NA KAMMALA WASU YAN HARKOKINA. SAI NA LURA DA WASU POST DA KAYI DA DAMA WANDA BADADI. AMMAN NAGA RUFIN BAKINA YAFI ALHERI DA KARE MUTUNCINA, DOMIN BA ZANJI DADI ACE MATASHI KAMARKA YAYI MIN RASHIN MUTUNCI. AMMAN A GASKIYA DANA KARANTA WANNA POST DIN TAKA DAYI QUOTING, SAI NAGA DOLE NAYI MAGANA AKAI. YADDA KAKE AL'AMARINKA A FORUM DINNAN SAM SAM BAI KAMATA BA. ZAN IYA MAKA MISALAI BA DAYA AKAN YADDA KAKE MAGANA KANA. IDAN BAKA SANIBA YOUR BEHAVIOUR COULD HAVE A BAD INFLUENCE ON OTHERS. DAYAWANMU IYAYENE, WASUNMU MANYA NE, WASU YARA NE KAMARKA, WASU MA MATSANE KAMARKA. YA KAMATA KA DINGA TAUNA LAFAZANKA DAZAKA DINGA FURTAWA A BAININ JAMA'A. TURAWA KANCE "A GOOD PERSON SHOULD BE HUMLE" BUGU DA KARI SUKACE "THE WAY YOU CARRY YOURSELF SHOULD PRESENT YOUR GOOD IMAGE IN THE EYES OF THE PUBLIC" FORUM DINNAN IS A PUBLIC PLACE BAI KAMATA KANA GAYA MA MUTANE BAKAR MAGANA KO ZAGINSU BA. DON DAYAWA SUN GIRMEKA. YA KAMATA KASAN IRIN LAFAZAN DA ZAKA DINGA YI. ITA WANNAN MISALI KO KUMA NACE KAZAFI DA KAYI WA AL-HAMZA DA HAUSANICIOUS BAI DACE BA KO KADAN BA. IRIN WANNAN LAFAZAN DA KAYIMUSU A MATSAYINKA NA DAN MUSULMI BE KAMATA BA. WANI IRIN IMAGE KAKE SON KAYI POTRAYING A BISA MAKIYANMU? DUBU ZASU SHIGO WANNAN FILIN KUMA SAI AGA KANA CEWA KAMA MA MUTANE KAZAFI! NIDAI TUNDANAKE ZUWA FORUM DINNAN BAN TABA GANIN KO JIN YAN FORUM DINNAN SUN ZAGI JUNANSU BA KO KADAN SAIDAI IDAN SUNA WASA DA JUNANSU WATO IDAN SUNA JOKES. WANNAN KUMA ABUN SHA'AWA NE ABUN KUMA DARIYA. BUGU DA KARI ITA WANNA JOKES DIN DA SUKE MA JUNANSU YA GINA MUSU WANI TUBALI. BE KAMATA ACE KAZO KA RUSHE MUSU TUBALIN MUTUNCI DA MU'AMULA MAI KYAU BA. KO DAYAKE A CIKIN WATA POST DINKA KA AMBATA CEWA "YOU ARE ON FIRE" TO, YA KAMATA KASAN CEWA ZAMAN LAFIYA AKEYI ANAN KUMA ITA ZAMAN LAFIYA GINSHIKI NE NA ZAMAN DUNIYA. BA'ACE KADA YAYI POST BA A'A, AMMAN IDAN KANA DA HUJJA KO BAYANIN DA ZAKAYI A POST SAI KAYI SHI BATARE DA ZAGI, KO RASHIN MUTUNCI KO YIWA MUTANE KAZAFI BA. DON ALLAH KAYI HATTARA KA KUMA KOYI TAUNA LAFAZANKA. BAN SANIBA KO TASHIN MATASANCIN NE KE DAMUNKA ALLAHU WA'ALAM. AMMAN INA GANIN KANA DA HANKALIN DAZA KAYI TUNANI KA KOYI MU'AMALA IRIN NA MUTUNCI DA MUTANE. INA MAI JAWO HANKALIN MASU IRIN WANNAN NEGATIVE ATTITUDE DA SUYI HATTARA SU KOYI ZAMA DA MUTANE LAFIYA SHINE DAYA DAGA CIKIN FOUNDATION DIN GININ ZAMAN LAFIYA GA MUSULMAI DA KUMA WANDA MA BA MUSULMI BANE. DUK MUMININ WANDA YAKE KOYI DA ADDININ MUSULUCI YA KAMATA YAYI GYARA A DUK INDA AKAYI KUSKURE. A KARSHE INA ME NEMAN AFUWA IDAN RAN SA SALATI YA BACE A KAN BAYININA. SANNAN MA IDAN AKWAI WANI WANDA RANSHI KO RANTA YA BACI TO A GAFARCENI.
HAZA WASSALAM.

[Hafsy_Lady]

Taf! hausanka is stonggggggg. But from what I could reasonably digest I believe you are passing a message to sa salati . Allah ya sa ya dauka. Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee MALAMI register yourself here, is people like you that should be rampant in visiting the forum...........As for your advice is good mun gode mutanen yanzu sai hakuri, but biko next time sofri sofri with the hausa because it is tooooooooo assorted. hehehehehe where is the boy sef? Come receive message (hafsy walks away shaking her head).

[kitkat]

...u must learn to keep each other happy by show of affection and not with material things! ...quote]


kitkat here is another answer :idea:

I never had a problem with show of affection, probabaly cos I dont have anything else to give anyway. But in truth how many girls (especially in kano) will prefer a cuddle to a bottle of perfume?

[Hafsy_Lady]

CAN I HAVE THE PERFUME PLEASE! :roll: ONLY IF ITS ARMANI OR D & G. FOR THE CUDDLE..........ABEG WHICH KINE CUDDLE, HOW MANY HAUSA MEN SABI THAT ONE LOL WAYYO ALLAH CIKINA. TYPICAL EXAMPLE, MY COUSIN GOT MARRIED TO SOME DECENT HAUSA MAN, DURING WEDDING REHASALS WE INSTRUCTED HIM TO HOLD HER HAND AT ALL TIMES, THE GUY WAS BLUSHING!!!!!! HIS OWN WIFE, COMMON HOLD HAND HE CUDNT, TALKLESS OF CUDDLE. APART FROM THAT IF A TYPICAL HAUSA WOULD SEE THIS, THEY WOULD START COMPLAINING, ANA KOYA MUSU RASHIN KUNYA..........THE LAST TIME MY GRANPA HUGGED MY GRANMA, HE ALMOST BROKE HER RIBS :lol:  OK JOKES APART, AFRIKANOS NO SABI SHOW LOVE AND AFFECTION. HOW MANY HAUSA MEN APART FROM MY BROTHERS, HARDLY YOU COME ACROSS MEN GIVING BROTHERLY HUGS TO EACH OTHER. CHECK OUT SAUDI MEN....THEY GIVE PECKS AND BROTHERLY HUGS PLUS SALLAMUALAIKUM, BUT PROPER TYPICAL HAUSA PERSON FINDS IT "SISSY" OR THE FEEL TOO BIG TO HUG, TALKLESS OF CUDDLE HIS "MUHARRAM" INFACT SOME SAID A BLACK MAN IS BORN TO BE COURAGEOUS AND SHAUL NEVER SHED TEARS. THATS WHY YOU SEE SOME MEN WILL UPSET THEIR WIVES, THEY CANT PAMPER HER THEY WILL ONLY SAY IDAN ZAKI HAKURA KI HAKURA" WHAT PAINS ME THE MOST, IS WHEN HAUSA MEN UPSET THEIR WIVES THEY WILL COMPENSATE HER WITH STICK MEAT "SUYA" AN MAIDA DA ITA KURA! SOME HAUSA MEN SHOW NO SIGN OF PITY OR HOW THEY FEEL REALLY BAD FOR UPSETTING U. THEY WILL BE LOOKING AT YOU WITH THEIR KORO KORO EYES. AND YOU WILL BE THINKING GOSH HIS EYES DONT EVEN SPELL OUT SORRY :roll: . TYPICAL HAUSA MAN DOESNT KNOW THINGS LIKE CARDS AND FRESH FLOWERS, HELPING TO COOK IN KITCHEN WHICH SOME WOMEN FIND CUTE IN MEN! WHAT THE YOUNG HAUSA BOYS KNOE IS ONLY IS TO COME FOR HIRA @ 9:00PM PLUS EIGHT FRIENDS ACCOMPANYING THEM, THEN SO SO THOUSAND NAIRA PLUS ANY GIFT (HISS)................LOOK ALL OF YOU ARE JUST TALKING. IN THE REAL SENSE AND IF ITS A TYPICAL HAUSA MAN, ROMANCE ENDS AS SOON AS THE WIFE DELIVERS A CHILD. SHE IS OUTTA AMARYA CATEGORY. WHY? WHEN A NEW BRIDE IS FRESH FRESH LIKE NEWLEY WEDS EVERYTHING NA VIP AFTER COUPLE OF YEARS ROMANCE IS OVER. EVEN WITH THE EUROPEANS........HONEYMOON DOESNT LAST, MAYBE FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS.........THEN ITS O-V-E-R

SO FOR THE TIME BEING JARE, CUDDLE CAN WAIT. PASS ME THE PERFUME :roll:  

[straightalkin]

LOL gaskiyar ki ne yarinya! Allah ya raba mu da irin su... amin!

[kitkat]

Iyeee Hafsy!!!  Lallai wannan mijinki sai ya yi da gaske.

I'll leave the hausa guys to respond appropriately.

Ke kuma str8 ki ke biye mata ko, har da wani Allah ya raba ku da su?

Be carefull what you wish for. You might just get it!

Do you know that in Ibo culture a little beating and the occasional slap is considered foreplay?

Do you know that in some parts of Benue you honour a respected guest by offering him your youngest wife for the night, or sometimes she is offered as payment in kind for farm work when times are hard.

And you think offering suya to make up is unromantic ko?

Kwa gaya musu.

Wallahi ku yi hattara kar ku jawo ma kan ku jangwam!

[Hafsy_Lady]

And you think offering suya to make up is unromantic ko

LOL Kitkat is has nothing to do with maigida sai yayi da gaske. Ba ruwan straightalkin, ni haka nake gani wannan issue in repsect of hausa men.
Honestly its sooooooooooo not romance. Buy me stick meat wallahi abun ma yabani dariya lol. Kai naga kana sai mata stick meat idan ka bata mata rai. Or to show love you must buy her suya?. mhmmm idan ba'ayi hankali ba yaji ma ya shiga idonta ko tayi poking idonta da stick din. How about fresh flowers, any cute asesory or cute gift not expensive. How can!!!! How can a man buy me suya to make up for what he has done? Haba!!! am not saying I must have a candle night dinner. I have a simple life style and I will lead it but in no heaven's way will you purchase me COW MEAT GARNISHED IN KULI KULI and PEPPER and hanged in stick rows to over shade you unjust behaviour to me. NO WAY!!!! ANOTHER ANNOYING NEW FOUND ROMANCE AMONG HAUSA MEN NOW IS IN THE EVENING A GUY WILL PAY YOU VISIT WAI ZA'A TAFI SHAN ICE-CREAM!!!!!!!!! AND ONLY IF THE GUY DOES THAT HE IS SO ROMANTIC AND GULFREIND WILL BE YAPPIN "wallahi mun tafi shan Ice-cream na after smo time gel go carry belle :roll: An tafi shan ice-cream kodai an je anyi abun da Allah ya haramta. Though its the new thing in town in Kano zuwa shan ice-cream with a boyfreind(hiss). My auntie use to use her husbys legs for pillow & her son will be handed over to the nanny. The husby loves her to death and his freind came to visit and he saw her. The typical hausa guy goes "meye haka wanna abun kunya" Typical hausa man!!! Another freind just asked her husby to massage her feet not because of romance wo but because she feel whilst cooking for him in the kitchen a very young married couple and the silly thing answered saying "ni leburanki ne" Imagine, that why I see hausa men are rated the most romantic men on earth :roll:  Am not saying my husby has to be the perfect Guy or he must read all the mills & boon novels & learn how to be such a darlin. Duk wajen is minor. But a real gentleman is not told how to show love, affection and care to his wife. But hausa men wani abokinshine zai ce mishi a'a kaje kawai ka siyo mata nama? Turning elegant woman into Lion or what I dont know? I can write a book on SOME hausa men (especially those with big bellys & silver tooth,those jiddah goers) and their lack of ability to show love to their wives seeing it as something to be ashamed of. Am not talking from books of physicology, or from religious aspect this is THE REALITY OF SOME HAUSA MEN

Let me help the men a little. For married men always suprise your wife with things. You know like anniversaries etc. Bance ayi mata suprise da kishiyaba. For the young bois women love suprises but dont suprise her by marrying her best freind

[kitkat]

AAAHHH!! :shock: Dis post wan pass me O! Oya all the kano guys, lets hear it from the boys, abin ya fi karfi na.

Ke kuma hafsy it sounds like it's getting personal. Ko dai wanni dan pagge ne ya shige gaban ki ne? :lol:

Besides maybe it's suya the average kano babe appreciates and the guys are just responding accordingly.

Like the ice cream thing, ba matan ne suke cewa "a je shan askireem ba"?

I can imagine turning up at the average pagge doorstep with a bunch of flowers and a huge teddy bear for my beloved. Watakila sai an tara malamai su mun rukkiya.

A long time ago three of us were coming back to Lagos with 3 huge valentine cakes for our babes and we made a scene with Kabo Air staff when we insisted on bringing our cakes on board. A kano girl from ABU witnessed the scene and the next day the whole of kongo campus was agog with the news of wasu "wahalallu" wai sun je har legas sayan cake din banza. We even made the campus magazine under the headline
"Na Wa for Sufferhead O!" Can you imagine?

Please guys lets hear your side of the story, abi na true she dey talk?