Are we romantic????????????!!

[*~MuDa~*]

Lol guys, I was trying to point out how unromantic the husband was, and u all seemed to have missed the gist of it and cottoned on to the communal way of life back then....which obviously favored the guys, which is why u all sound nostalgic and almost wishing u were a part of that existence lol....  ;D
So if we are to look at the genesis of the Hausa man's lack of a romantic bone in his nature, I'd say this fits the bill perfectly... ko kuwa?

Ah haba? But why wont they have a lack of romantic bone in their nature when the woman where extravagantly shy? lol...you come for zance and she stands behind the door or 3 yards apart, you finish your speech and all she does is smiling and playing with the end of her rapper or her toes...lol or worst answering simply "uhm" with an annoiying grin that makes the man not to be able to create any more dialogues anymore...lol...ko bahaka bane DB, zamani kun ne ko? and why do you keep refering to Her as Antin Muhsin? its confusing!!!

[EMTL]

Lol guys, I was trying to point out how unromantic the husband was, and u all seemed to have missed the gist of it and cottoned on to the communal way of life back then....which obviously favored the guys, which is why u all sound nostalgic and almost wishing u were a part of that existence lol....  ;D
So if we are to look at the genesis of the Hausa man's lack of a romantic bone in his nature, I'd say this fits the bill perfectly... ko kuwa?

Ah haba? But why wont they have a lack of romantic bone in their nature when the woman where extravagantly shy? lol...you come for zance and she stands behind the door or 3 yards apart, you finish your speech and all she does is smiling and playing with the end of her rapper or her toes...lol or worst answering simply "uhm" with an annoiying grin that makes the man not to be able to create any more dialogues anymore...lol...ko bahaka bane DB, zamani kun ne ko? and why do you keep refering to Her as Antin Muhsin? its confusing!!!

Assalamu alaikum,
Muda, I am still convince that staying 3 yards apart is better than 'NO GAP', etc. Ko me ka gani Mallam? Allah Ya shirye mu a-miyn.

Let us also a draw broad and distinct line between 'Courtship and Marriage' situations, then refresh ourselves with the question at hand: Are we romantic?

[*~MuDa~*]

LOL...Engineer kenan, when did i mention 'No Gap'? i havent, i just dont like the 3 yard zance thing, it wasnt written anywhere in the sahih Hadiths that you should stay 3 yards apart during courtship.

And to clear further you claim about the line between 'Courtship and Marriage' situations, with regards to the post, well i thought that the topic is Are We Romantic?  there was no any specification as to in what category and if there was, i bet you rather find out the romantic aspect of your bride to be before its too late ko? ;D ;D ;D

[HUSNAA]

LOL...Engineer kenan, when did i mention 'No Gap'? i havent, i just dont like the 3 yard zance thing, it wasnt written anywhere in the sahih Hadiths that you should stay 3 yards apart during courtship.

Quite right Muda. What is recommended is a third party to be present, otherwise the other third party would be Shaytan. Like Sheikh Sajid Umar Ahmed keeps saying, u may trust yr son or daughter but u can never trust shaytan!

I bet you rather find out the romantic aspect of your bride to be before its too late ko?[/color] ;D ;D ;D

Not necessarily Muda, and not advisable for the ladies. Most men go after the qualities of chastity and modesty in a girl after being enamoured with her charms, i.e. her youthfulness mostly or smooth skin or beautiful face. As they dont know much of her other characteristics and are not likely to truly know till after the nikaa, the only thing for a girl is to not be too brash, or outspoken. She tends to scare them off. if she yields to her romantic inclinations, she makes the guy begin to have second thoughts about her being brand new and not out of the leda yet. You know the double hypocritical standards of our societies.. what's good for the gander is not good for the goose, when we all know its not good for the gander either, but as there are no tangible consequences for the gander,  it becomes quite OK.
Anyway a very good unromantic advice for all those would be brides and grooms.. insist on tests before marriage. These days some marriages are nothing but death traps.

[Dave_McEwan_Hill]

So true, Husnaa. So true
In our society over here a girls who is free with her favours is a "slut" or a "slapper"  but the guy who enjoys them is " one of the boys " or a "great guy" or a ""ladies man " and is envied.
One rule for the goose.................................

[HUSNAA]

 another for the gander.... ;)

[bakangizo]

Anyway a very good unromantic advice for all those would be brides and grooms.. insist on tests before marriage. These days some marriages are nothing but death traps.

Killerjoy!!! ::) But yeah, you're right.

[gogannaka]

Wai da gaske ne after a year or so of the marriage the sweet romance just disappears?

I was discussing marriage with a friend and we came to the househelp topic.
He said that as far as he's concerned there's no need for a househelp when its just two of you.Agreed.

Then came the hadith that the prophet SAW never provided a househelp to A'isha.That she even requested but was given some supplication to do which would give her the strength to carry out her home duties.

Is anyone aware if the Prophet provided a househelp to any of his wives?

[Dan-Borno]

Wai da gaske ne after a year or so of the marriage the sweet romance just disappears?

That is the general rule brother - welcome to the extra mural classes.

[EMTL]

Then came the hadith that the prophet SAW never provided a househelp to A'isha.That she even requested but was given some supplication to do which would give her the strength to carry out her home duties.

Is anyone aware if the Prophet provided a househelp to any of his wives?

Assalamu alaikum,
Was it Aishat (RA) or Fatimah (RA)?

[HUSNAA]

Then came the hadith that the prophet SAW never provided a househelp to A'isha.That she even requested but was given some supplication to do which would give her the strength to carry out her home duties.

Is anyone aware if the Prophet provided a househelp to any of his wives?

Assalamu alaikum,
Was it Aishat (RA) or Fatimah (RA)?

It was Fatimah RA who came and told the prophet that she needed a househelp because of all the chores she was having to do. So the prophet said to her: should I tell you what is better than that? and she answered to the affirmative and he told her to go and recite subhanAllah, walhamdu lillah wala ilaha illallaHu walAllahu Akbar.
I think that was the dhikr that the prophet gave her. I cant remember though. Been a long time since I read that hadeeth.

Wai da gaske ne after a year or so of the marriage the sweet romance just disappears?

I was discussing marriage with a friend and we came to the househelp topic.
He said that as far as he's concerned there's no need for a househelp when its just two of you.Agreed.

Then came the hadith that the prophet SAW never provided a househelp to A'isha.That she even requested but was given some supplication to do which would give her the strength to carry out her home duties.

Is anyone aware if the Prophet provided a househelp to any of his wives?

No the prophet never provided any househelp to any of his wives. This I think was for several reasons. It was the prophet's aqueda to live the simplest of lives since for him, this world held no great shakes (no shakes at all  vecause ts worth is less than the wing of a mosquito in Allah's Reckoning). He considered himself a traveller. He even gave an analogy in one hadeeth when he was asked why his sleeping mat was made of spiked rushes, and he said something to the effect of a traveller not needing to put down roots (my own words of the hadeeth not the prophets, cos I cant remember the exact words and I dont have any books on hadeeth with me at the moment.
The prophet's humbleness was a condition emulated by his wives and the ppl around him. Besides the prophet's household was such that days would go without a fire being lighted for the preparation of a meal.

But it doesnt mean that u shouldnt provide yr wife with a househelp GGNK when u get married. Remember yr level of taqwa can never match that of the companions of the prophet or his wives. Besides its not haram or bad. The prophet never said it was; he only gave his daughter a better alternative.

Wai da gaske ne after a year or so of the marriage the sweet romance just disappears?

Unfortunately, yes GGNK. Uc, being attracted and falling in love with a person is a way of bringing two ppl together to procreate.. add to humanity and the gene pool. Marriage was made a pre requisite to that, so that a stable and structured society is formed and built upon. Once you fall in love and get married, then the aim of being in love has been achieved. So it disappears. Love itself is just a set of chemical pheromones that come into effect when they happen to be in the vicinity of someone with a compatible set of pheromones, so that a reaction occurs. This reaction cant be sustained because like some other things it is subject to entrophy and the law of diminishing returns.  The good news is that it can get replaced by something better than the highs and lows of that intense physical attraction. This is only so if you happen to find the right life partner and that is when this beautiful ayat comes into effect which says:

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect". Suratul Rum aya 21.
The sort of love that comes into effect is one in which understanding, traquillity, need, companionship contentment and a sense of purpose take over.

Mind you with today's world as it is and has become, this has become a utopian dream  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D 

[bakangizo]

Wai da gaske ne after a year or so of the marriage the sweet romance just disappears?

That is the general rule brother - welcome to the extra mural classes.

Gaya masa gaskiya dai ya ji, alan gubro. Gara ya shirya kafin ya shigo shima ya ji yadda ake ji ;D

[Muhsin]

I'd remained purposely mute because I was under an impression that such discussion was not comprehensively for young adult like me, is it? ??? ::) Yes, eh? But after spending long time of reading its pages I discover I too can say a word or more here and would perhaphs make sense.

Well...I can boldly announce Hausas are not so romantic but the are romantic.

[HUSNAA]

I'd remained purposely mute because I was under an impression that such discussion was not comprehensively for young adult like me, is it? ??? ::) Yes, eh? But after spending long time of reading its pages I discover I too can say a word or more here and would perhaphs make sense.

Well...I can boldly announce Hausas are not so romantic but the are romantic.

In so far as your thoughts do the interaction here, then there is no such thing as a young adult on this forum. your thoughts are a formation of yr mind working. the mind  unlike the physical body is ageless. So if u have anything to say, feel free to say it and dont act coy. No one will think the worse of you for voicing your opinions (as long as they are not seditious libelous or dirty).

[Muhsin]

Gaskiyane Aunty. If what you said wasn't true then there was no Muhsin at KanoOnline Online Forum because...you knew it. I been here for more about years or so since I didn't know how to write accessible and readable English, how to operate computer properly (eg how to quote when replying, to bold names, underline word, etc), how to do many things. But you people endure it and always intract with me as we are almost the same in terms of age, education, status, etc. You said nothing but a PLAIN FACT and many thanks for the approach.