On a lighter note

[Ummulhuda]

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

4. PUT YOUR GARBAGE CAN ON YOUR DESK AND LABEL IT "IN."

5. PUT DECAF IN THE COFFEE MAKER FOR 3 WEEKS. ONCE EVERYONE HAS GOTTEN OVER THEIR CAFFEINE ADDICTIONS, SWITCH TO ESPRESSO.



9. AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE, SKIP RATHER THAN WALK.

10. ASK PEOPLE WHAT GENDER THEY ARE.

(12. SING ALONG AT THE OPERA.

15. FIVE DAYS IN ADVANCE, TELL YOUR FRIENDS YOU CAN'T ATTEND THEIR PARTY BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD.

16. HAVE YOUR COWORKERS ADDRESS YOU BY YOUR WRESTLING NAME, ROCK HARD

17. WHEN THE MONEY COMES OUT OF THE ATM, SCREAM "I WON, I WON! 3RD TIME THIS WEEK!!!!!"


19. TELL YOUR CHILDREN OVER DINNER, "DUE TO THE ECONOMY, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO LET ONE OF YOU GO."

Those were WICKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F.D.Q.!!! and  the above are my faves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So John Clease! So Monty Python! So Mr BEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ummita]

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

1. AT LUNCH TIME, SIT IN YOUR PARKED CAR WITH SUNGLASSES ON AND POINT A HAIR DRYER AT PASSING CARS. SEE IF THEY SLOW DOWN.
(i'm HAVE to try this ;D )

I like the above bit...........
That is proper madness! That is insanity! That is way outta mentalilty.

[Blaqueen]

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

19. TELL YOUR CHILDREN OVER DINNER, "DUE TO THE ECONOMY, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO LET ONE OF YOU GO."

i can see Venom doing this.... LoL!!!!!

LoL!!!! Ummul and Ummi... that hairdryer would juss be AWESOME.. try it in naija and people will park to flog u!!!!!
The ATM machine bit is juss crayyzzeeee!!!!! or skippin! lol...

[MohammedIbrahim]

Amma dyme u really got venom ;D .nnyway no be the guy fault na econs the guy dey study ;D

[ummita]

Can I juss add su'in up here! Ok...thnx 2 all of u


Read this.............it will surely help esp when all worked up r stressed out......

This is a cat a cat good cat way cay to cat keep cat an cat idiot cat busy cat for 10 seconds

NOW READ AGAIN WITHOUT SAYIN CAT

Got yah!!!!(she laffs)

[Ihsan]

Ummita! lol...that's sooo funny.

[Ummulhuda]

and so  cat Cat CAt CAT CATTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

           meow!   ;) ;)

[Maleeq]

kaii so all of us na .....kai! i no fit talk am :'(


     nywayz nice one :D





                            i'm out ;) :D

[Aydee Fella]

hmmmm.....Ummita na wa for u.

[Anonymous]

Laughing in hausa Dariya dariya dariyya diyya,........... Ummita Blad

Ummul I like that Meow!!! lol

Crazinesss dey for this forum no bi small. Kanoonline family thumbs up to you all

[Anonymous]

That was funny

[MohammedIbrahim]

Ummita!!(lol) ,u really got us indeed

[Blaqueen]

LEARN CHINESE!


English                               Chinese

thats not right                             sum ting wong

are you habouring a fugitive?          hu ya hai ding

i think u need a face lift                 chin tu fat

i thot u were on a diet                   wai yu mun ching

your body odour is offensive           yu stin ki pu

our meeting was scheduled for next week    wai yu kum nao?

please stay a while longer               wai go nao?

You are not very bright                   Yu So Dum


hehe.. a friend did that lol!

[Blaqueen]

51 ways to annoy ur roomates

Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally.

Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class.

Twitch a lot.

Talk while pretending to be asleep.

Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them.

Become a subgenius.

Inject his/her Twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG.

Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat. When s/he turns to look, fall back down and grin.

Speak in tongues.

Move your roommate's personal effects around. Start subtly.
Gradually work up to big things, and eventually glue everything s/he owns to the ceiling.

Walk and talk backwards.

Spend all your money on Jolt Cola. Drink it all. Stack the cans in the middle of your room. Number them.

Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "They're more than meets the eye."

Recite entire movie scripts (e.g. "The Road Warrior," "Repo Man," "Casablanca") almost inaudibly.

Kill roaches with a monkey wrench while playing Wagnerian Arias on a kazoo. If your roommate complains, explain that it is for your performance art class (or hit him/her with the wrench).

Collect all your urine in a small jug.

Chain yourself to your roommate's bed. Get him/her to bring you food.

Get a computer. Leave it on when you are not using it. Turn it off when you are.

Ask your roommate if your family can move in "just for a couple of weeks."

Buy as many back issues of Field and Stream as you can.

Fake a heart attack. When your roommate gets the paramedics to come, pretend nothing happened.

Eat glass.

Smoke ballpoint pens.

Smile. All the time.

Collect dog poop in baby food jars. Sort them according to what you think the dog ate.

Burn all your waste paper while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.

Hide a bunch of potato chips and Ho-Hos in the bottom of a trash can. When you get hungry, root around in the trash. Find the food, and eat it. If your roommate empties the trash before you get hungry, demand that s/he reimburse you.

Leave a declaration of war on your roommate's desk. Include a list of grievances.

Paste boogers on the windows in occult patterns.

Shoot rubber bands at your roommate while his/her back is turned, and then look away quickly.

Dye all your underwear lime green.

Spill a lot of beer on his/her bed. Swim.

Buy three loaves of stale bread. Grow mold in the closet.

Hide your underwear and socks in your roommate's closet. Accuse him/her of stealing it.

Remove your door. Ship it to your roommate's parents (postage due).

Pray to Azazoth or Zoroaster. Sacrifice something nasty.
Whenever your roommate walks in, wait one minute and then stand up.

Announce that you are going to take a shower. Do so. Keep this up for three weeks.

Arrange thirteen toothbrushes of different colors on your dresser. Set one aside from the rest. Laugh hysterically at the one toothbrush. When your roommate asks about it, refuse to discuss the situation.

Paint your half of the room black. Or paisley.

Whenever s/he is about to fall asleep, ask questions that start with "Didja ever wonder why...." Be creative.

Shave off one of your roommate's eyebrows. Comment repeatedly on how it makes him/her look younger.

Put your mattress underneath your bed. Sleep down under there and pile your dirty clothes on the empty bedframe. If your roommate comments, mutter "Gotta save space," twenty times while twitching violently.

Put horseradish in your shoes.

Shelve all your books with the spines facing the wall.

Complain loudly that you can never find the book that you want.

Always flush the toilet three times.

Subsist entirely on pickles for a week. Vomit often.

Buy a copy of Frankie Yankovic's "Pennsylvania Polka," and play it at least 6 hours a day. If your roommate complains, explain that it's an assignment for your primitive cultures class.

Give him/her an allowance.

Listen to radio static.

Open your window shades before you go to sleep each night. Close them as soon as you wake up.

Cry a lot.  

[Ibro2g]

Have I been here? Dont think so...