On a lighter note

[Ummulhuda]

On a lighter note, a friend sent me a satire on Bush and Condoleeza Rice. Its so funny I thought I should share it with all of you. Some of you may have come across it during your cybertravels on the internet. Anyway enjoy the piece and remember it is not my handiwork.


HU'S ON FIRST By James Sherman

(We take you now to the Oval Office, George Bush talking to Condoleezza Rice.)

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.

Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow's name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The Chinaman!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That's the man's name.

George: That's who's name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader
of China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the
Middle East.

Condi: That's correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don't want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.
And then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condi: Rice, here.

George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should
send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese
food in the Middle East?

[Blaqueen]

hahahha...... that is toooooooo soooooooo funny!!!!!!!!!

[MohammedIbrahim]

kai that wuz fuhunny ;D.Daman the guy looks like one jaki(lol).u guys really got him

[ummita]

Huda Babes, Thats trully wat u call a laff!! I like it.

Daman the guy looks like one jaki(lol).u guys really got him

I didnt know one of our kanoonline memebers was part of d meeting!!!!! ::) So Mo how does he look like ?

[Gimbiya]

this is the only thing that have made me smile all week. kai dukka yen' office dimmu were laughing their guts out and yah they are AMERICAN but they still find to be so perfectly right. he's so dakiki and slow

[Ibro2g]

dama wannan bush din JAKI ne da gaske hahahaha. I was told but I did`nt believe

[Maleeq]

                lol this is really off tha hook. who knowz,Bush in reality might be as dull as it apears here ;D ;D ;D
           and plz kepp tha jokes comin.

[Anonymous]

Ummulhuda, I like the name. I like hausa names for some reason.
This is great, very funny and everything rhyms.
Keep your scrolls on

[nura]

'Huda thanks for this, it has lighten up a whole community. You are better than NEPA and Enron, keep on lightening our moods.

[Aydee Fella]

I didnt know one of our kanoonline memebers was part of d meeting!!!!! ::) So Mo how does he look like ?

C ur life, u come miss the whole thing MO dey yarn.

[Venom]

Lol well u cant blame the guy he is an American  :D

[MohammedIbrahim]

I didnt know one of our kanoonline memebers was part of d meeting!!!!! ::) So Mo how does he look like ?

    Ummita did'nt really get wat u were trynna say ???.actually ...........ban gane ba kawai

[ummita]

C ur life, u come miss the whole thing MO dey yarn.

C my life!!!! (U is surely givin b d cramps 4 lafter). U sabi c life?

Moh........guess I didnt really pick up d hint:  :-/

[MohammedIbrahim]

yeah i think so,nnyways no prob ;)

[Blaqueen]

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

1. AT LUNCH TIME, SIT IN YOUR PARKED CAR WITH SUNGLASSES ON AND POINT A HAIR DRYER AT PASSING CARS. SEE IF THEY SLOW DOWN.
(i'm HAVE to try this ;D )

2. PAGE YOURSELF OVER THE INTERCOM, DON'T DISGUISE YOUR VOICE.

3. EVERY TIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO DO SOMETHING, ASK IF THEY WANT THAT SUPER SIZED.

4. PUT YOUR GARBAGE CAN ON YOUR DESK AND LABEL IT "IN."

5. PUT DECAF IN THE COFFEE MAKER FOR 3 WEEKS. ONCE EVERYONE HAS GOTTEN OVER THEIR CAFFEINE ADDICTIONS, SWITCH TO ESPRESSO.

7. FINISH ALL YOUR SENTENCES WITH "IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY."
(lol.. i'mma try this f'real....)

8. DON'T USE PUNCTUATION

9. AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE, SKIP RATHER THAN WALK.

10. ASK PEOPLE WHAT GENDER THEY ARE.

11. SPECIFY THAT YOUR DRIVE-THROUGH ORDER IS "TO GO."
(LoL!!...that wld be highly annoying!)

12. SING ALONG AT THE OPERA.

13. GO TO A POETRY RECITAL AND ASK WHY THE POEMS DON'T RHYME.

14. PUT MOSQUITO NETTING AROUND YOUR WORK AREA & PLAY A TAPE OF JUNGLE SOUNDS ALL DAY.

15. FIVE DAYS IN ADVANCE, TELL YOUR FRIENDS YOU CAN'T ATTEND THEIR PARTY BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD.

16. HAVE YOUR COWORKERS ADDRESS YOU BY YOUR WRESTLING NAME, ROCK HARD

17. WHEN THE MONEY COMES OUT OF THE ATM, SCREAM "I WON, I WON! 3RD TIME THIS WEEK!!!!!"

18. WHEN LEAVING THE ZOO, START RUNNING TOWARDS THE PARKING LOT, YELLING "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, THEY'RE LOOSE!!"

19. TELL YOUR CHILDREN OVER DINNER, "DUE TO THE ECONOMY, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO LET ONE OF YOU GO."