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Make Me Laugh!

Started by bakangizo, May 04, 2005, 04:02:01 PM

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A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night
and he saw Steven Spielberg.

As he was a great fan of his movies,
he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says,
"You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."

The astonished Chinese man replied,
"It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour,
it was the Japanese".

"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says,
"You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."

Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."

The Chinese replies,
"Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak


Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum


A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.

  She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen  table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be in deep thought,  just staring at the wall. She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee.  "What's the matter dear? Why are you down here at this time of night?" she asked.
    "Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you  were only 16?" he asked.
    "Yes, I do," she replied.
     "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making out?"
     "Yes, I remember."
     "Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail?"
     "Yes, I do," she said.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "You know...I would have gotten out today."


hahahaha! oh Kitkat! that was one of the funniest jokes I have read on Konline! 
The guy must have been thinking
"why oh why didnt I opt out for that jail instead?"
He must have had 20 miserable yrs!!
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum



this is a news transcript from Sky news, no joke. Can you imagine this guy pairin up with Miss teen carolina and having a baby?? This is how the George W Bushes of the world emerge....

"Miami Dolphins linebacker Channing Crowder has admitted not knowing people speak English in London.

Miami Dolphin Channing CrowderThe NFL player might want to check a map to see where he's playing Sunday's prestige game against the New York Giants at Wembley Stadium.

Crowder, who comes from Atlanta in Georgia, may be praised on the field, but confessed geography was not his strong point.

He admitted he did not know until now where London was - or that Londoners spoke English.

"I couldn't find London on a map if they didn't have the names of the countries," he said.


"I swear to God. I don't know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I learned that."

Crowder added: "I know (Washington Redskins linebacker) London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him.

"That's the closest thing I know to London. He's black, so I'm sure he's not from London. I'm sure that's a coincidental name."

The Miami Dolphins play the New York Giants at Wembley this Sunday in the first NFL regular-season game to be played outside the United States.


Classic case of all brawns and no brain
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum


Wani kare-kare ne yaje Makkah, a Harami ya ji kiran sallah na fita ta ko ina amma baiga ladani mai kiran sallan ba. Abin ya bashi mamaki har ya tambayi wani dake zaune a kusa dashi, ya ce, "wannan kam maigidanne da kanta take iran sallan, ko?" ;D


Kowa ya je makkah ya dawo sai a rinka shai mashi 'Alhaji'. ni idan na je na dawo sai dai ku rinka kira na 'Annamijo'.
                                              -Fulani Man
oday s beautiful moments are tomorrow s golden memories.


Wani ibo man ne dan achaba ya kwala shi akan kwalta da dare. Sai ya bude ido ya ga mutane sun kewayeshi. Sai ya ce, "maram,(malam) do Arraah do Anabi akaini inuwa." Akace masa ai dare ne yanzu, ko ina ma inuwa ne! This shows the magnitude of his condition at that moment! ;D ;D ;D


 ;D   ;D   ;D  I cant stop laughing from Kit-Kats post,
Kai amma wannan ragon namiji ne wallahi  ;D   ;D  ;D

Kai kuma Waduz, wallahi I have a bunch of Karekare
in my house, I will report you immediately.

;D  Lallai dan inyamurinnan yaji jiki, an taba sa mutum
a inuwa ne kuma da dadaddare  ;D   ;D    ;D   
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak


A computer geek is crossing the road when he sees a frog who starts talking.

"If u kiss me", the frog says, "I will turn into a beautiful princess and do what ever u want."

The guy smiles and pockets the frog. "

Did u hear me?" asks the frog. "A beautiful princess? For a week?"

"Look," says the nerd, "I haven't got time for a girl friend. But a talking frog – that's cool!"
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum



A man takes his seat at the World Cup Final. He looks to his left and notices that the there is a spare seat in between himself and the next guy.
"Who would ever miss the World Cup final?" Asks the man.
"That was my wife's seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away." Explains the guy.
"That's terrible, but couldn't you get another member of the family, friend or someone else to come with you?" Asks the man.
"No.....They are all at the funeral!"
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment


lol Tashin hankali. And he rather come to the game than go for the funeral. nwah


Old John is on his death bed..
His wife and family are there at the bedside.
He looks at his four tall red-headed sons and Willie, his last born who is small and dark haired.
He motions for his wife to come over and asks her in a whisper
"Mary, I'm close to death. Can you tell me truthfully that Willie is actually my son ?"
" What a terrible question to ask a wife" replies Mary in his ear  " Of course he's your son."
Old John sinks back and dies with a smile on his face.
" Phew" says Mary. " Thank God he didn't ask about the other four!"


Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum