Make Me Laugh!

[gogannaka]

Hahaha, she was eating cat food all along.

The memo got me laughing all day.
Thank God nowadays they watch football too.

[ummutameem]

Hahaha, she was eating cat food all along.

The memo got me laughing all day.
Thank God nowadays they watch football too.

believe it or not alot of those women had to tolarate it as a way of keeping d men at home.

[gogannaka]

Eyya sometimes you just have to make peace.

[ummutameem]

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'

[bakangizo]

Wata gobara ce ta tashi a wani kasuwa. Wuta tana ta ci tana kone shagunan mutane. Ka san inyamuri da kudi, ga rashin tawakkali. Gashi kuma akwai shagunan inyamurai da yawa a kasuwar. Wuta na ci, jama'a nata kokarin kashewa. Su kuwa inyamurai sai ihu suke suna ta "Chineke!!!".
To, wani basakkwace yana gefe yana kallon ikon Allah. In ya waiga nan, sai yaga inyamuri ya dafe kai yana kiran "Chineke". Can sai dan uwan shi ya zo ya tambaye shi , "Shin, Lawalli, in ji dai wutagga bata kame kowa ciki ba?". Sai ya amsa, "A,a. Ina zaton walla Chineke dai acciki shika kone wa!!"

[ummutameem]

babbar magana

[ummutameem]

Subject: missing husband










Missing Husband

A woman went to police station to file a report for her missing husband:

Woman: I lost my husband
Inspector: What is his height
Woman: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy
Woman Not slim can be healthy
Inspector: Color of eyes
Woman: Never noticed
Inspector: Color of hair
Woman: Should be black
Inspector: What was he wearing
Woman: I don't remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with him ?????????
Woman: Yes my Labrador dog (Romeo), tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together.

The woman started crying
Inspector: Let's search for the dog first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[gogannaka]

LOL Karen ya fi daraja ga bisa dukkan alamu.

I got this one from a friend on facebook:

A woman took her child who was sick 2 D hospital. D doctor asked her:'how old is he?woman:"2yrs old .doctor:"what food do u give him?"woman:"cerelac custard,goldenmorn,tea bread and butter,"d baby said,"doctor na lie o,morning gayi,afternoon gayi,night gayi,everday gayi gayi!!!

[ummutameem]

smart boy!! asiri ya tonu.

this one i heard from my cuz' wife, she has a neighbour whose child is about 18mos n still breast feeding, the girl can talk n people keep telling d mother, wean ur baby since she can walk n talk, wat are u waiting for? still d woman refused, until one day, she was feeding d girl n some people walked in, d next thing d girl lifted her head and said clearly for all to hear, MAKE UNA COME JOIN ME!!!!!

[ummutameem]

WHICH PEOPLE????????
 
Wife goes to the supermarket and buys her husband a dozen underwear of the same colour.

When she returns home and gives him his present, the husband is thrilled till he opens the parcel. Then he protests:

"Why buy me same colour? People will think I do not change underwear!"

The wife asks: "Which people?"
 

[EMTL]

Assalamu alaikum, Allura ta tona galma?

[gogannaka]

WHICH PEOPLE????????
 
Wife goes to the supermarket and buys her husband a dozen underwear of the same colour.

When she returns home and gives him his present, the husband is thrilled till he opens the parcel. Then he protests:

"Why buy me same colour? People will think I do not change underwear!"

The wife asks: "Which people?"

Hahahaha!
Slip of tongue.
Lallai allura ta tono garma.

[Dan-Borno]

an gaisheku gogannaka, ummut and bakangizo

[bakangizo]

Wahala when you visit  rich friends

Once while visiting a very rich friend, the maid approached me and.....
             
Question: what would you like to have, fruit juice, soda, tea, chocolate, cappuccino, frapuccino  or coffee?
Answer:    Tea please.
Question :  Ceylon tea, Indian tea, herbal tea, bush tea, honey bush tea, iced tea or green tea?
Answer:    Ceylon tea please
Question :  how would you like it, black or white?
Answer:    white
Question :    milk or fresh cream?
Answer:    with milk
Question :    goat's milk or cow's milk?
Answer;    with cow's milk please
Question :    freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?
Answer:    umm, think I'll just take it black
Question :    would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?
Answer:    with sugar
Question :    beet sugar or cane sugar?
Answer:    cane sugar
Question :    white, brown or yellow sugar?
Answer:   Oya, forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water instead
Question :    mineral water, tap water or distilled water?
Answer:    mineral water
Question :    flavored or non-flavored?
Answer:     I think I'll skip the drink. I'm not thirsty anymore. Thanks.

[ummutameem]

ha ha, nice one. next time u r visiting, FAST, ll saves alot of time n annoyance.