Make Me Laugh!

[Dave_McEwan_Hill]

My wife was standing nude,  looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and  said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I  really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's  damn near perfect."

[IBB]

lol

[bakangizo]

A lady sent a text message to her man:
If u are happy, send me your smiles.
If u are crying, send me your tears.
If u are eating, send me your food.
If u are sleeping, send me your dreams.
...If u are in the bank, send me the money.
The man replied: I am in the TOILET!

[IBB]

So I will send you my shit? LOL

[Dave_McEwan_Hill]

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO  FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE:

1.. It's important to  have a woman who helps at home,
cooks from time to time,  cleans up,  and has a job.

2. It's important  to have a woman who can make you
laugh.

3. It's  important to have a woman who you can trust,
and doesn't lie  to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is  good in bed,
and likes to  be with you. 

5. It's very, very important that these four  women
do not know each other.