Laugh Out Loud

[Anonymous]

I wasn't funny at all cos I heard it also in one Hausa series I can't remember the name (zaman duniya?) anyway it was shown by CTV. Even the one posted by Malam Sanusi A Alassa is some how one of those from the same even only that it was I think the first man that went in to make her laugh, he said "wani mutum ya shiga gona...... sai ya fito" and he started laughing before they eventually kick him out. To me, that one was even funnier cos it was stupid enough to be laughed at.
Anyway I think it was not funny even on TV. 8)

How about this one

Clinton and the priest:
The priest died minutes after clinton and mistakenly, the priest was taken to Hell and clinton went to heaven. After a while, the mistake was recognised and they were both told to go to their real destination (i.e clinton Hell and the priest Heaven) on the way are two intersecting elevators, one going up to Heaven and one coming down to Hell. When they (Clinton and the priest) met, clinton saw the priest in a hurry and asked him "why are you hurring to Heaven?" The priest stopped and said to him in a low voice so that no one will here " I want to go and meet VIRGIN Mary"
Clinton nodded his head immediately after hearing VIRGIN and brought his mouth closer to the priest ears and wispered "too late"

;D ;D ;D



This joke is popular in america and any american will laugh extremely at this. If you remember the clinton case with monica lewinsky, since then, all jokes about clinton are about having sex and stuff like that.

[IBB]

thats a killer mr amaduu ;D ;D ;D i cant stp laughin.

Aii check this out
A female clerk sees her boss pants unzipped she said Sir ur garage door is open. Boss: can u see my Ferrari? Clerk: No, I see a small scooter with 2 flat tyres

[IBB]

An igbo converting to islam was told by da imam 'if u adopt the name of great men like Mohammed, God will bless u like them' Ibo man responds how about Dangote?

[Ihsan]

lol ...nice one! lallai mutum da son abun duniya ake!

[Sas]

Aamadu and IBB those are great. I couldn't stop crying!

This one

The Brain Store

A man went to a brain store to get some brain for dinner. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offered at this particular brain store.  
So he asks the butcher: "How much for Engineer brain?"
"3 dollars an ounce."
"How much for  brain?"
"4 dollars an ounce."
"How much for lawyer brain?"
"100 dollars an ounce."
"Why is lawyer brain so much more?"
"Do you know how many lawyers you need to kill to get one ounce of brain?"

[Sas]

I remembered this one but its in Hausa

Yaro mai suna Babba da Babansa

Wata rana wani dan fulani yana tafiya tare da yarinsa Babba yaron yana gaba. Dan fulani dai ya gaji da kallon kan yaron wanda yake yayi kwalkwal yana ta kyalkyali. Sai Dan fulani yace wa dansa "Babba koma baya tchautchayi shegene"

Abun da take nufi shine the more ya kalli kan Babba the more yake son yaci moriyar kansa sai dai yace wa yaron ya koma baya.

[baby_gal_84]

I remembered this one but its in Hausa

Yaro mai suna Babba da Babansa

Wata rana wani dan fulani yana tafiya tare da yarinsa Babba yaron yana gaba. Dan fulani dai ya gaji da kallon kan yaron wanda yake yayi kwalkwal yana ta kyalkyali. Sai Dan fulani yace wa dansa "Babba koma baya tchautchayi shegene"

Abun da take nufi shine the more ya kalli kan Babba the more yake son yaci moriyar kansa sai dai yace wa yaron ya koma baya.

wai lalle S A Alhasan yu sabi hausa i didnt get the joke coz i could not say this word "tchautchayi" three of us here duk mun kasa........ but i guess the joke most be funny ayya fulani dai suna shan tsiya wurin hausawa.

[Sas]

Actually the word is tsautsayi (accident) but you know how the fulanis will pronounce it.

He was telling his son to stay back so that his heart doesn't tempt him to hit the shining head.

Its better of telling than reading so I can understand what you mean. Hope it makes sense now.

[Sas]

This one

Nigeria President, U.S president and China president went on a solo flight and got lost with no Navigation to get them back home. An idea came to them to travel to everywhere in the world and one way or another each president will know his country. As the fly reach Washington, the Amerika president put his hand outside and pop a cd player came up. "This must be amerika" he replied. As they reach Beigin, China president saw the same type of watch the Amerika president had only that his own is fake. "This must be China" and they dropped him off. When they reached Abuja, Nigerian president did the normal routine of putting hand outside, when he brought it back his watch was missing and he proudly said "Dis must be NIgeria" "Even di air de steal"

;D ;D ;D

[Sas]

Hereare these jokes about my man David Beckham. thet are actually funny thats why I put em up.

1.

David Beckham is celebrating; "43 days, 43 days, 43 days!" he shouts happilly. Posh asks him why hes celebrating.
He answers "Well Honey, I've done this jigsaw in only 43 days."

"And that's good?" asks Posh.
"You bet Hon" says David."It says 3 to 6 years on the box."

2.

David Beckham was driving his Ferrari around when he almost crashed into a truck. The trucker got out and went up to David and started shouting at him. David said "Yeah,yeah can I just go now?" The trucker marked out a circle and said to him "I need to get something out my truck don't go out of the circle till I get back"
He went to his truck and came back with a sledge hammer he walked up to David's car and smashed the windscreen. He turned around and David started laughing. So he got a stake and popped the tires. David started laughing harder. He poured lighter fluid on the car and set it alight. David was peeing himself!
The trucker said to him "What are you doing? I've just fucked up your Ferrari."
And David said "I know.... but each time you turn around I jump out the circle!"


www.pigboy.co.uk

[baby_gal_84]

Actually the word is tsautsayi (accident) but you know how the fulanis will pronounce it.

He was telling his son to stay back so that his heart doesn't tempt him to hit the shining head.

Its better of telling than reading so I can understand what you mean. Hope it makes sense now.

oh ok yanzu i get the joke da naci is that i can read hausa or what??

[Hafsy_Lady]

Oh ma ma all u lot gat on laughin on da floor rollin. ;D ;D ;D Well i dont hav much time 2 throw ma joke now coz i've got an exam 2 catch tilll am bac. c all yah soon  ;)

[IBB]

hello lovely lady..i like u...where u from? i'm French. in france we love to shop! i'm Kenyan..we love to run bye!

[Borg]

Hi guys, am finally out of hibernation... good jokes rolling here.

Bill Gates dies, at the gates of heaven and hell, the Angel tells him 'since you were the richest man in the world in your time you have been given a previledge to check out both heaven and hell and then choose the one you wanna stay in forever'.

Bill is first taken to hell... much to his amazement the place is bubbling and really happening... night clubs, naked babes, finest casinos and all the works... then he is taken to heaven, nothing so great about it, people just living thier lives being good and all.

He is finally asked where would you wanna go? He thinks for a minute and says he prefers hell... but much to his shock he was dumped in the hell we all hear of... the hell fire, punishment, screams of agony..... Bill started to scream out 'but this was not what i saw when i came the first time..' and the angel replied 'what you saw earlier was the screen saver".

[Sas]

i don't get this joke Borg ???