Laugh Out Loud

[gogannaka]

lol hell could be so deceptive can't it :D
here's a joke i read in a book tho it is a comman one, i'll write it in hausa..............wani dan fulani ne aka gan shi yayi tagumi yana ta tunani yana cewa "hmn allah ya sawwake" sai aka tambaye shi mallam yaya?ashe wai brother din sa ne mai suna narana(4got to told u they were fulani's)ya mutu.shikenan aka tambaye shi to meye kake ta tsaki(mts tsw)sai yace "hmn ba mutuwar narana ba na ke ji ba abin da zai faru a can(lahira)" sai aka ce me zai faru? sai yace "ka san narana da zuciya ga walakiri kuma da tambayar kwa kwa, na san yanzu suna can zuna dokuwa,ga shi dama ya ce in ya mutu a binne shi da sandarsa"


Allah na tuba ba daga baki  na kuka ji wannan labari ba.. :D

[Borg]

:p Hesham An old Arab man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted
to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work.  His only
son,Abdul, who used to help him, was being held by the FBI for aiding
and abetting terrorists.  The old man wrote a letter to his son and
described his predicament.



Dear Abdul,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't
able able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too
old to be digging up a garden plot.  If you were here, all my troubles

would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Your Dad,
Mohammad.


A few days later he received a letter from his son.



Dear Dad,
For heaven's sake, don't dig up that garden,that's
where I buried the biological weapons.
Love,
Abdul.


At 4a.m. the next morning, F.B.I. agents and local
police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any
weapons. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the
old man received another letter from his son.


Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best
I could do under the circumstances!
Abdul.

[kilishi]

A Dr tells joe that he has 2 weeks to live,joe thinks for a minute and says"right,then i will take one week in july and the other week in september" ;D ;D

[gogannaka]

loooooooooooooooooooooool

[kilishi]

Blistered Ears                                                                                                                  
A Tanzania guy having seen blisters in both of his friends\'s ears
asked him what happened to his ears.

He said that while he was busy ironing his clothes, the telephone rang,
and he mistakenly put the iron to his ear instead of the receiver.

So the first fellow asked him what happened to his other ear,

and the reply was - ‘That fool called me again’ ! ;D :o 8)

[Borg]

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

SAEED AL SAHAF - Iraqi Head of Information

The chicken did not cross the road.
This is a complete fabrication.
In fact, we do not even have a chicken.


HANS BLIX

We have reason to believe there may be potential for this chicken's capability, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

 
COLIN POWELL

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.


GEORGE W BUSH

We don't care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us or against us.
There is no middle ground.


TONY BLAIR

I agree with George.


JOHN HOWARD

I agree with George and Tony.

 
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

 
GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

 
OPRAH

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it felt accomplishing its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

 
JOHN LENNON

Imagine all the chickens, crossing all the roads.
You may say I'm a dreamer - but it’s not the only hen.

 
MICHAEL JACKSON

There's nothing more wonderful than sharing your bed with a chicken.

 
ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

 
KARL MARX

It was an historic inevitability.

 
ALEX FERGUSON

The chicken was not drawn to the other side fairly, and Beckham is not bigger than this club.


BILL GATES

eChicken2003 version 1.0 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your cheque book - and internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

 
ALBERT EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

 
BILL CLINTON

I did not have sexual relations with that chicken!

 
HOMER SIMPSON

Mmmmmmmmm.... c h i c k e n

[gogannaka]

loooooooooooool  very good one borg(i can't stop laffin)











i wonder what obj would say? ? ?
Give the chicken "ghana must go" i guess :D :D :D

[ummita]

i wonder what obj would say? ? ?
Give the chicken "ghana must go" i guess :D :D :D

Borg this was absolutely hilarious....
Goganaka that was funny...

[al_hamza]

          Pakistan's Math's Exam Paper

          ***===========================***
           Strictly Confidential(X)
          ***===========================***
           Pakistan Board Of Exams March-2000
           HIGH SCHOOL MATH'S PROFICIENCY EXAM

          Name: _______________________________________
          Nationality:(Pakistani/Afghan/other) _________________
          Sex: (female/terrorist) ___________________________
          Relative of any high-ranking Army Personell?
          (yes/no/willbe) _________________________________

************ Rules And Regulations****************
          1) Under any circumstances do not circulate this question paper,if found U will be shot.
          2) Any Question which is mentioned in brief should be
explicitly
          written
          in

          brief.
          3) If the student doesn't come in time for the Exam
he/she will
          be
          joining the Harquat-UL-Ansar Group.
          4) If anyone is caught copying he/she will be an
eligible
          candidate for
          Pakistan's next General Elections.

Time : 2 hours or till the next sound of AK-47
          (whichever later)

*******************************************************
           100marks.

          1. Ayub has an AK-47 with a 40-round clip. If he
misses 6 out of
          10
          shots and shoots 13 times at each village, how many
villages can he
          cover
          before he has to reload?
          2. Irshad has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8-
ball to Salim
          for
          $320, and 2 grams to Mukhtar for $85 a gram. What is
the street
          value of
          the remaining caine that he doesn't cut?

          3. Irshad wants to cut his 1/2 pound of heroin to
make 20% more
          profit.How many ounces of cut will he need to reach his
goal?

          4. Abdul gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a
Chevy and $100
          for a
          4x4.
          If he steals 2 BMW's and 3 4x4's, how many Chevys
will he have to
          steal
          to make $800?

5. Rashid is serving 6 years in prison for murder. He
received
          $10,000
          for the hit. If one of his four wives is spending $100
a month,how
          much
          money
          will be left when he gets out of jail, and how many
years will he
          get
          for killing the woman who spent all his money?

          6. If Imran tampers the ball thrice an over, what is
percent
          increase
          in fall of wickets and reduction in runs ?? In that case
what is the
          success rate in a test match and one day international??

          7. What could have been the shortest way for
hijacking Indian
          plane
          from Khatmandu not considering the killing rate in the
plane??
          Looking at
          the executive and passenger classes in Indian planes,how
many
minimum
          number of hijackers required actually to Hijack a Plane??

          8. Suppose if 35 percent of a total class is copying
70 percent
          of the
          total exam paper, what is the total percentage of
fraud ?? To
          increase
          the total percentage of fraud to 10 percent more, which
is the best
          way
          out of those two ?

9. Suppose a Missile is targeted towards Bombay which
launches
          from
          Lahore air base at about 1:00AM ISD Time. What would be
the time
          taken by
          the Missile to hit Bombay?

          10. Explain in brief fully Zia-ul-Haq and Musharaff theorems with full
          data for taking over Government's?
          ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
          Retrevied frm topsecret ISI files

[Dave_McEwan_Hill]

I liked the Doctor joke from Kilishi
Here's two more.
Man goes to doctor for medical examination.
Doctor: I have some terrible news for you. You have only three minutes to live!
Man: My God! Can you do anything for me, doctor?
Doctor: I can boil you an egg.

and a rude one
Young women goes to doctor with stomache ache.
Doctor (after short examination): I'll need to give you a thorough examination. Take your clothes off and lie down on the couch behind the screen.
Woman (undressing): Where will I put my clothes, Doctor?
Doctor's voice (from behind screen): Over here, on top of mine.

[Anonymous]

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D this place is so funnyyyyyyyyyy ;D ;D ;D

[Twinkle]

YOUR NAME IS THE FUNNY

[Sas]

funny jokes, please put your sources up. no joke at the moment from me :-/

[kilishi]

YOUR NAME IS THE FUNNY

U are so fuunnnny, ;D ;D lallai kam this name may be he comes from the moon.

[kilishi]

Have u ever heard this one?
a boy was asked by his math teacher,what is a 6.9?
the boy said a 69 ,interrupted by a period. :o :o