Author Topic: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE  (Read 42098 times)

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Offline Twinkle

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #45 on: July 26, 2003, 08:24:35 PM »
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Good Topic Ummita.

When I was a little boy (aged 9yrs).I was very naughty.

Ai kai you were more than a terrorist ::) Uncle Ladies Papi

As I have stated earlier, beating a child is not what you can call discipline. In school the teacher beats your child for not doing his homework. He comes home mummy hits him for not doing his homework, because he was sent with a letter home addressing the parents. He finally does the work and submits it the next day. He gets 15 strokes for failing number 10 which is simultaneous equation. He goes out during lunch to play in the play ground, school bullies beat him up! He goes home with a shreaded school uniform, father beats him up for waisting his uniform why "because DADDY paid for the uniform, after mummy joins in, why? Because she said I should never be clumsy.

Habaaaaaaa!!! HABA! HABA! They are human being and not species. To me this is CHILD ABUSE.
And for men that beat women, nidai idan nasan ban saba ma addinin musulunci ba based on marriage and a man dares lay a hand on me!!!..mhmmmmm :-X :-X :-Xmhmmmmm kai bari dai nayi shiru
color=red]I RULE IN A UNIQUE WAY!

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Offline Dave_McEwan_Hill

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #46 on: July 26, 2003, 11:18:51 PM »
When I was training to be a teacher we did child psychology and I remember the lecturer arguing that if a child learns early enough to be obedient beating will never be necessary.
Up to 18 months is the best time to instil obedience in a child he told us and a small child is very susceptible to a strong tone of voice. If the child is very stubborn a stinging smack on the buttocks or the back of the hand (which pains but does no damage) will reinforce the message "NO" and the child will become very biddable. Learning to do what it it is told before 18 months and showing respect becomes a very good habit as the child grows up.
Many silly white people have developed a theory that a child should do as it likes when it is very young. "It will learn by its mistakes" is their theory. Like it will learn that the ground is very hard when it falls out a three storey window or kills itself by sticking its fingers into the electric socket! These children are the ones you see the parents beating - as the theory has proved to be wrong, the child won't do what it is told and the parents can't control them. If you have no control early on you can't then get control when the child is adolescent - and beating makes the behaviour worse - even to the extent of hitting back.
maigemu

Offline kilishi

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #47 on: August 01, 2003, 03:37:44 PM »
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When I was training to be a teacher we did child psychology and I remember the lecturer arguing that if a child learns early enough to be obedient beating will never be necessary.
Up to 18 months is the best time to instil obedience in a child he told us and a small child is very susceptible to a strong tone of voice. If the child is very stubborn a stinging smack on the buttocks or the back of the hand (which pains but does no damage) will reinforce the message "NO" and the child will become very biddable. Learning to do what it it is told before 18 months and showing respect becomes a very good habit as the child grows up.
Many silly white people have developed a theory that a child should do as it likes when it is very young. "It will learn by its mistakes" is their theory. Like it will learn that the ground is very hard when it falls out a three storey window or kills itself by sticking its fingers into the electric socket! These children are the ones you see the parents beating - as the theory has proved to be wrong, the child won't do what it is told and the parents can't control them. If you have no control early on you can't then get control when the child is adolescent - and beating makes the behaviour worse - even to the extent of hitting back.

Some theories are not applicable,'cos every child has his own peculiarity.
ilishi

Offline EMTL

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #48 on: August 04, 2003, 01:57:11 PM »
Assalamu alaikum,
Islam enjoined parents to protect their their children from all evils of Saytan[LA], by educating, counselling and advising them on their ways of lives, according to the dictates of Al-Islam. In the course of doing these tasks parents are allowed to beat their children only when they (children) attained the age of seven years (7) but not before. At the age of seven parents can scourge their wards, for instance, if they refuse to say their salat (prayers). The parents therefore have the responsibility of teaching the child the importance of all aspects of worship.

I remain convinced that the above islamic method is more preferrable in dealings with children. More information could be obtain from my little book, 'Hakkin Jarirai da Yara akan Uwaye'

Thanks ummita for initiating this important discourse.

Wassalamu alaikum.
In the Affairs of People Fear Allah (SWT). In the Matters Relating to Allah (SWT) Do not be Afraid of Anybody. Ibn Katthab (RA).

Offline ummita

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #49 on: August 08, 2003, 04:00:36 PM »
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Some theories are not applicable,'cos every child has his own peculiarity.
If that is so, then y not adopt & apply a theory which will b applicable  2 ur childs peculiarity. Obviously not every sort of punishment works 4 every child. If a child does wrong................a theory u can apply KILISHI(Go directly, see wat d child is duin & tell him he musnt)! Parentage is a very important profession in life, for a parent 2 b'cum a professional they hav 2 apply the best way 2 train their kids. If if they think beating is by far the best way to bring up & discipline a child, then I dont think that person fits d role of parent 2 d child. Why? Sooner or later that child will get used to beating & wat point does it make wen a leaopard does not change his spots or change his feelings that spots r rather a credit? :-/

They beat children but it doesnt change their ways!
Despite ur slammin, am still jammin!!!

Offline JiboNura

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #50 on: August 09, 2003, 04:52:54 AM »
Kanoonliners:All protocols duly observed.
Ummita,
I sincerely enjoyed 'ur comments on child upbringing,but as a new member I would like to begin with a short one.
To me, I don't regard beating or maltreatment of children as a solution to morality.The act of being good or bad actually depends on the way we study the personality of our children.
The way they behave and relate with their immeadiate environment  is very imprtant to us. It is very vital to teach a child good habit;show him how to respect his elders and senior ones. If she/he went wrong somewhere, try and correct
them in a polite manner.Make them realise their mistakes by  telling them the implications of disobedience and indiscipline.As regards to white man's way of child rearing, I would want to u to believe that its the best way 'cos he values human being more than the blacks.The white man is very good in the management of human resources. The only fallacy to his school of thought is too much freedom. As far northerners, i want to say its the hard way among the illetrate ones and the fairest way among the literates.There4 ummita, kindness, love, care and affection are very useful to the upbringing of a child.
Nura.

Offline kilishi

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #51 on: August 09, 2003, 08:43:35 PM »
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If that is so, then y not adopt & apply a theory which will b applicable ?2 ur childs peculiarity. Obviously not every sort of punishment works 4 every child. If a child does wrong................a theory u can apply KILISHI(Go directly, see wat d child is duin & tell him he musnt)! Parentage is a very important profession in life, for a parent 2 b'cum a professional they hav 2 apply the best way 2 train their kids. If if they think beating is by far the best way to bring up & discipline a child, then I dont think that person fits d role of parent 2 d child. Why? Sooner or later that child will get used to beating & wat point does it make wen a leaopard does not change his spots or change his feelings that spots r rather a credit? :-/

They beat children but it doesnt change their ways!


By the time u get the children you will understand what i mean ;D ::) ::)dem go show u pepper :P
ilishi

Offline Saurayi

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #52 on: August 15, 2003, 02:05:12 AM »
To the best of my knowledge I believe beating is not the best. Though I'm not a father yet(about to be),I think the best way to train a child is by councelling and talking. It really helps. In fact that is the option we opted for.

Beating will just succeed in hardening the child. I believe there are more civilised ways of correcting a child. Beating is the most primitive way. I pray to God never to raise my hands on my children. My father never raised his on me.
aurayi.

Offline Saurayi

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #53 on: August 15, 2003, 02:18:10 AM »
Lest I forget I will only raise my hand on my child if he or she refuse to pray at the age of seven(7). May God never let me see that day.
aurayi.

Offline Venom

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #54 on: August 15, 2003, 02:46:53 AM »
Where I stand on the issue of beating a child is I believe it is ok to correct ur child through light physical contact. What I mean is if a child crosses the line the parent could spank the kid, not to the extent where the kid would have a scare the next day. No it should be done in a manner where by it does hurt the child but lightly so that the kid learns not to do that thing again. I remember as a child whenever I did something wrong my mum would spank me (she never 1s spanked me 2 the extent where it hurt the next day or left a scar) and then I would go 2 my room and I would realise what I did wrong and I would not do that thing ever again. 4 me personally, God willing when I do have kids I would punish them psychologically (I learnt that from my dad), when ever they do something wrong I would give them this cold look at immediately they would know they have done something wrong. Now dont get me wrong this does not instil fear into the kids it instils respect. All in all I would give my wife the green light 2 spank my kids if they do something wrong (not 2 the extent where by she leaves scares on them). ?
IKED BY FEW, HATED BY MANY, RESPECTED BY ALL

Offline ummita

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #55 on: September 02, 2003, 08:36:04 PM »
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Where I stand on the issue of beating a child is I believe it is ok to correct ur child through light physical contact.  
Light Contact?!!!!! :o Wat? Who du u think wud give lyt contact as in say.........a spank @ their back? If u tlkin bout Nigerians most especially northerners theres no such thing as litht contact.....however theres blows & real corporal punishments ::)
Despite ur slammin, am still jammin!!!

Offline kilishi

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #56 on: September 03, 2003, 07:56:10 PM »
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Light Contact?!!!!! :o Wat? Who du u think wud give lyt contact as in say.........a spank @ their back? If u tlkin bout Nigerians most especially northerners theres no such thing as litht contact.....however theres blows & real corporal punishments ::)

haba ,ai kowa yasan na yoruba sabi beat their child like donkey,but is minimal in the north
ilishi

Offline Venom

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #57 on: September 05, 2003, 12:48:45 AM »
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haba ,ai kowa yasan na yoruba sabi beat their child like donkey,but is minimal in the north

TRUE
IKED BY FEW, HATED BY MANY, RESPECTED BY ALL

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #58 on: September 05, 2003, 06:51:43 PM »
They wiill keep on agreeing and disagreeing,some of them na lash be their breakfast but here :-X :-X

Offline Guduma

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #59 on: March 04, 2004, 05:38:32 PM »
I believe children need love, good care and counselling makes better and well behaved kids. Beating i think can be a little harsh to kids..........

 


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