Make Me Laugh!

[Jibo]

Take a vow and smile! :) :) :) :) A man wins a lottery, after being released from gaol!

[Tukurtukur]

mallam jibo.  how did it happen?  tell me, yaushe ya yanki katin lottery? nasan dai ba acikin frusina bane. Did he laugh or he made you laugh?

[HUSNAA]

mallam jibo.  how did it happen?  tell me, yaushe ya yanki katin lottery? nasan dai ba acikin frusina bane. Did he laugh or he made you laugh?

Kai TKTK Jibo karin magana yake yi da turanci (I think). It sounds that way at anyrate, i.e. a literal translation from Hausa to English. Saidai Mallam Jay Ka fada mana karin maganar ta Hausar mana...

[HUSNAA]

A very surprised husband unwrapped a very large birthday present from his wife and found a rocket.
"Darling what's it for?" He asked.
"You've always wanted more space, now get lost!" she replied ;D ;D ;D ;D

[Tukurtukur]

HUSNAA na gaishe ki!  Kinsan wannan 'baba na daka, gemu na waje'?
That is why the Hausa man created this wise saying ' gida biyu maganin gobara'.  she must be troublesome wife.  in da nine, i will just vamous with the jet to the next gida.  she will not see me untill she sends you on a space ship to plead on her behalf. ;D ;D ;D

[Jibo]

A child of about 18 wanted to marry because of his deep relationship with a girl at the neighbourhood. He went and narrated his mind to his father and the father responded by denying on the request of the child to get married and insisted that 'yaro ko muryarsa bata fashe ba amma kace zaka yi aure?' After two weeks the boy went to the father and greeted him with a hoarse voice ' Baba ina kwana?', the father asked astonishly, what happened to your voice?' The boy responded quickly, I just woke up this morning and heard my voice bursting, (da safen nan ne naji muryata tace 'bot' ta fashe!)! The boy is ready for marriage. ;D

[IBB]

Bot! lol

[Dan-Borno]

Given the current global financial climate, it is necessary to redefine
> some terms
>
> CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.
>
> CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
>
> BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to
> mistake himself for a financial genius.
>
> BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no
> allowance, the wife gets no jewellery, and the husband gets no sex.
>
> VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
>
> P/ E RATI O -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants
> as the market keeps crashing.
>
> BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
>
> STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
>
> STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
>
> STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your
> assets equally between themselves.
>
> FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
>
> MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
>
> CASH F LOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears
> down the toilet.
>
> YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker
> for $240 per share.
>
> WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who
> bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
>
> INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked
> up in a nuthouse.
>
> PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

[Jibo]

Mhmmmmmm! Ya kamata a canzawa naira suna! ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)

[HUSNAA]

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell. (lol!)





MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks. (watau the value gets dragged by gravity - downward ;D ;D)



very funny DB!

[gogannaka]

 YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker
for $240 per share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who
bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.


LOL.....perfect combination.

[bakangizo]

A groom's vote of thanks after his wedding.


"**I want to first of all thank The Almighty for creating my wife. I also want to thank the pastor and his wife for lending us their wedding ring.

**Special appreciation to my lanlord who borrowed us his car.

**Iam most grateful to my boss for approving the loan I used for my wedding suit.

**Big thanks to the Committee of Friends for the appeal fund they raised on my behalf.

**To my brother's wife, thank you for lending us your wedding gown.

**Iam so grateful to the cake designer for the Cake. I promised to return it tommorrow morning, as agreed, without cutting  or eating out of it.

**Special thanks to my friends who brought food from their homes to help me feed you all. Please for those who were served food, good luck. For those who didn't get any, well, we promise to make it up to you during our child naming cermony (hopefully next year).

** Very big thanks to my parents for bringing the village cultural band to entertain the guests.

**Not forgetting the Village Marriage Committee. Thank you for persuading my wife to marry me.

**Appreciation to the married men in the village for rushing me into this marriage.

**The women are not left out. Thanks for teaching my wife how to cook and dance.

**To the youths, thank you for sweeping and decorating this venue with palm fronds.

**A big gratitude to my childhood friends for helping with the Zobo drinks.

**Appreciation to to my co-tenants for contributing money for the camera man.

**Well, I wish you all safe journey and I pray you don't experience what I suffered for this wedding. Phew!!! :'(

Thank you, and God bless."

[HUSNAA]

A bus filled with politicians was driving through the countryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery,loses control and crashes into the ditch. A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash and rushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the politicians, he buries them.

The next day, the police come to the farm to question the man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?"

The farmer answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie." including kanoonliners.

lol this one from figorms deserves to be here!  ;D ;D ;D

[MySeLf]

Kai this thread is just too:- 


                                             ;D

[HUSNAA]

Kai this thread is just too:- 


                                             ;D

Kai he's just too cute!! Watch this next to that one  http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=BQOds0kCgOk&feature=related