Make Me Laugh!

[HUSNAA]

:oops: I dont know how I got myself entangled in these err....  :oops: peculiarly embarrassing jokes...  :oops: but lol  I'm laughing anyway... :lol:  that was a nasty ( :lol:  :lol: )joke...BK . Recommended for anyone with an awful mother in law!!! :P
Nothing chauvenistic about it Muda.. honestly... But the husband is a proper SOB  :roll: nevertheless.

Now for some clean and freshly laundered jokes:
After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had telephone network 1000 years ago.

So not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200 metres and headlines in the US papers read:

"US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibres, and concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians."

One week later, the Nigerian newspapers reported the following:

"After digging as deep as 500 metres, Nigerian scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using wireles"

[*~MuDa~*]

Lol....Hajjaju, i neber thought u sfit jokes zis well, zat was really cool, i really enjoy nigerian jokes.

[bakangizo]

Check this;

YOUR AGE BY YOUR HOUSE NUMBER

You remember your age? Ok. Hold it to your chest and do the following exercise:

Write down your house number (as in address no.), double it, add 5, multiply by 50, add your age, add 365 days of a normal year, and finally subtract 615,

Result: Your house number will be on the left, while your age will be on the right.

[HUSNAA]

Wow! That was cool BKG!! :D

[HUSNAA]

Wani bafulatani yaje kasuwa ya sai da shanun sa ya ci 'yar kazamar riba. Ashe a kasuwar baisani ba, wa'yansu barayi sun hango shi, kuma ransu ya biya a kan ribar da dan fillon yayi. Saboda haka  suka kuduri aniyar sai anci ribar nan da su.

Dan fillo ya kama hanya zuwa garin su, sai wa'yannan barayi suka tunkare shi a kan hanya kamar mutanen arziki, su ka fara hira da shi, suna tambayar sa in da za shi. Shi kuma sai ya fada musu. Suka ce an yi sa'a suma can hanyar suka nufa.

Suka cigaba da tafiya suna tadi har suka shafe matsakaicin lokaci. Can sai suka iso wata 'yar rumfa inda wata mata ke sayar da fura da nono. Dama sun fara gajiya, sai suka ce bara su sayi abinci su ci. Barayin suka yi ma dan fillo tayin saya masa fura a kyauta ya sha. Gogannaka murna ta kama shi, wai shi sisin kwabon sa bazai ciwon kai ba. A ka hada masa fura lafiyayya. Ya sha yayi tatil. Barayin ma suka sha madaidaiciya. Gama shan furar ke da wuya,  sai idon dan fillo ya fara limshe wa, da yake rana ta bude. Sai su kayi shawara su shiga wani soro su dan runtsa kafin a kira azahar su yi sallah su cigaba da tafiya.

Da suka shiga soron, dan fillo  ya gyara ma'adanar kudin sa da ke daure a kugun sa, ya sakankan ce ya baiwa barci ragamar lmulki, sai munshari ka ke ji 'kurrrrrr  kurrrrr  kurrrrrr  kurrrrr'.

Barayi, dama abin da suke jira ke nan. Da suka ga dan fillo yayi kamar ya ce wa duniya 'ga garinku', sai suka sulalo suka kwance jakar dake daure a kugun dan fillo. Har sun juya za su gudu, sai daya da ga cikin su wanda an san shi da shakkiyanci,  ya dauko 'yar aska ya samu kan dan fillo, ya aske tas, kamar kwaryar molo. Suka tattara gashin suka zubar, suka gudu.

Can yamma tayi dan fillo yayi firgigit ya tashi kamar wanda a ka watsa wa ruwan sanyi. Yana farka wa, sai ya shafa kugun sa dan ya tabbatar da jakar kudin sa, sai yaji fiyau ba komai a wurin. Yayi wuf ya dafa kansa zai saka kururuwa, sai yaji ba gashi, sai yace 'af ashe bani bane'.

[*~MuDa~*]

Lolzzzzzzzz Dear Husnaa, what kind of a woman are you?...did mean to sound disrespectful but u really got it goin' on. U r just too universal.

"...dan fillo ya gyara ma'adanar kudin sa da ke daure a kugun sa, ya sakankan ce ya baiwa barci ragamar lmulki...,"

That is classic hausa, damn i had to read like 2wice slower before i recognised the actuall meaning hidden between the lines. Do u per chance freelance for BBC Hausa? Lol. Dope joke...really got me laughing!

[Dave_McEwan_Hill]

My son, who appeared in many episodes of a Kano TV version of Mind Your Language, was actually offered a position with the BBC Hausa service. Sadly he did not take it. Twenty years later he can't read Hausa any more which is a pity though he still talks Hausa fluently.

[bakangizo]

Good one Husnaa. Nima ina nan da wani fulani joke nan bada dadewa be.  :lol:

[precious]

If you like hausa jokes there's this collection by Bashir Tofa called "Mu sha dariya".I think there are 2 or 3 books.I found them quite funny and a few of them were real life experiences of the author or his friends.

[HUSNAA]

Why dont u post some up here please, Precious? U can put up a copyright rejoinder to be on the safe side

[*~MuDa~*]

My son, who appeared in many episodes of a Kano TV version of Mind Your Language, was actually offered a position with the BBC Hausa service. Sadly he did not take it. Twenty years later he can't read Hausa any more which is a pity though he still talks Hausa fluently.

Blimey!! Is dis a joke? If u have a son that was offered a job with BBC 20years ago then how old r u mate? (with all the sense of the rude jokes i hv always belied that u will nt b more than 35). I hp its a joke.

[Dave_McEwan_Hill]

Na. I'm a dirty OLD man (according to Waziri anyway), retired now and my son is now a bit older than 35.
The girls I taught at WTC Kano will all be about forty years old by now or more. I wonder where they all are.
In fact my grand-daughter (her mother is from Bornu State) is going to University in Glasgow and hopes to be a teacher.(It runs in the family).
I hope my grandaughter gets back to Kano one day to see where she was born. She was delivered in a clinic in the Sabon Gari.

Maigemu

[*~MuDa~*]

Na. I'm a dirty OLD man (according to Waziri anyway), retired now and my son is now a bit older than 35.
The girls I taught at WTC Kano will all be about forty years old by now or more. I wonder where they all are.
In fact my grand-daughter (her mother is from Bornu State) is going to University in Glasgow and hopes to be a teacher.(It runs in the family).
I hope my grandaughter gets back to Kano one day to see where she was born. She was delivered in a clinic in the Sabon Gari.

Maigemu

Whaat?!? Am speechless. What kind of an oldman will derive such gigantic sense of humour, to come admist the young and make them laugh?

[HUSNAA]

In fact my grand-daughter (her mother is from Bornu State) is going to University in Glasgow and hopes to be a teacher.(It runs in the family).
I hope my grandaughter gets back to Kano one day to see where she was born. She was delivered in a clinic in the Sabon Gari.

Maigemu

Hey Dave, yr grand daughter is not by any chance related to aisha lavers? Her mother was from Bornu state also and her father was British and used to lecture at BUK. He died a long time back and the family I believe went to live in England.

[precious]

Kai! Its such a small world.I do know the Lavers family and Husnaa knows them,too.Maybe I know Husnaa,too :D