Author Topic: Make Me Laugh!  (Read 430495 times)

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Offline IBB

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #240 on: June 09, 2007, 05:02:23 AM »
lol nice jokes u got here.

Mufi u r highly welcome keep pourin them jokes

IHS

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #241 on: June 09, 2007, 09:45:38 AM »
Haba people,
Where are our good manners.
Mufi joined this forum and babu wanda ya yi mata lale maraba.

Haba Dan borno?this is part of your responsibilities.

Lucky you ALKN is on sabbatical he would have issued u a query.

Anty Husnaa?Myself?Amira?IBB?
Dukkanin ku ke yi mata sannu da zuwa idan ba haka ba na me and u  >:(

For yr ingestion, digestion and excretion, Ba wanda ya taba ce mun sannu da zuwa on this forum. I landed on my head here and bumped it and no one said uffan except to reply to my posts. Personally, I dont think it is necessary to say welcome. Ignoring the person's posts would have been a worse sin. I think I am the first one to reply to a post by Mufida and that was so that she could feel that some one is responding to her messages and that she is not being ignored. To me it smacks of hipocrisy or oiliness or someother to become the board receptionist or maitre'd. We all like each other I am sure and it shows throu conversing, not saying hello or whatever. For further recconnaissance, and get to know u better, the private IM suffices very well, so na u and di rest, I don pull myself out of yr blacklist GGNK  ;D
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline amira

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #242 on: June 09, 2007, 05:02:42 PM »
A man was beating his wife, his friend stopped him and said " kai mahaukaci, ba'a dukan mata, kishiya a ke musu"! On hearing this the woman stopped yelling and said " ci gaba da dukana maigida, dont mind him!

Kai kai kai ina ruwan hauka da kishi :D
*Each day is definately defining me and finding me*

Offline amira

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #243 on: June 09, 2007, 05:06:04 PM »
Haba people,
Where are our good manners.
Mufi joined this forum and babu wanda ya yi mata lale maraba.

Haba Dan borno?this is part of your responsibilities.

Lucky you ALKN is on sabbatical he would have issued u a query.

Anty Husnaa?Myself?Amira?IBB?
Dukkanin ku ke yi mata sannu da zuwa idan ba haka ba na me and u  >:(

Allah baka hakuri ggnk, bama haka da kai :)
lalle marhaban mufi welcome to our kanoline family ;)
*Each day is definately defining me and finding me*

Offline Dave McEwan Hill

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #244 on: June 10, 2007, 11:38:47 AM »
The old ones are the best.........

Wife (to husband): "I feel that my breasts are rather too small......."
Husband: " They look all right to me. If it worries you try rubbing toilet paper between them."
Wife: "Will that make them bigger?"
Husband: "Maybe. It certainly worked for your ass."

The husband is still recovering in hospital.

Offline IBB

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #245 on: June 10, 2007, 11:45:22 AM »
lol
IHS

Offline gogannaka

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #246 on: June 10, 2007, 05:03:38 PM »
Anty Husna yi hakuri..LOL 'don't take it too personally'  :P  :P

I remember no one welcomed you either and you compained to admin (i think)
You are welcome to kanoonline (in arrears).
Very sorry.

LOL@ Dave
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Offline *~MuDa~*

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #247 on: June 17, 2007, 10:33:59 AM »
Anty Husna yi hakuri..LOL 'don't take it too personally'  :P  :P

I remember no one welcomed you either and you compained to admin (i think)
You are welcome to kanoonline (in arrears).
Very sorry.

LOL@ Dave


A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor.

"How much do I owe you?" the lady asks.

"$345," says the doctor.

"$345!!?" the lady asks.

"Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."
...He begot not, nor is He begotten!
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Offline *~MuDa~*

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #248 on: June 17, 2007, 10:50:42 AM »
A man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist asked, "Yes sir, may we help you?"

"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.

The receptionist became aggravated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you." he said.

"We do not use language like that here," she said. "Please go outside and come back in and say that there's something wrong with your 'ear' or whatever."

The man walked out, waited several minutes and reentered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"

"There's something wrong with my 'ear'," he stated. The receptionist nodded approvingly. "And what is wrong with your ear, sir?"

"I can't piss out of it." the man replied.


Another one pls read on...

Dude walks into a pharmacy laughing hysterically, orders 2 condoms, still laughing, pays the pharmacist and walks out laughing. The pharmacist is perplexed but doesn't give it a second thought. The next day the same guy walks in laughing hysterically, orders 2 condoms, still laughing, pays the pharmacist and walks out laughing.

The pharmacist remembers the day before and starts to wonder what's up but not for too long because he has work to do.The next day the same guy walks in laughing hysterically, orders 2 condoms, still laughing, pays the pharmacist and walks out laughing. Now the pharmacist is intrigued as to what is going on with this guy so he arranges with his assistant to follow the guy and find out where he is going, should the man return.

Wouldn't you know it, The same guy comes back the next day, laughing hysterically, orders 2 condoms, still laughing, pays the pharmacist and walks out laughing.

The assistant followed him as per his orders and came back 20 minutes later. The eager pharmacist asked his assistant where the man went? The assistant said:

"Your house."
...He begot not, nor is He begotten!
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Offline IBB

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #249 on: June 18, 2007, 12:39:07 AM »
 ;D ;D ;D m busy laughin here man. Undertakers will laugh now too. biz don come
IHS

Offline Dave McEwan Hill

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #250 on: June 19, 2007, 12:43:02 AM »
Woman goes into a butcher's and asks "Is that a sheep's head in the window?"
"No,madame" replies the butcher "Its a mirror."

Offline Dan-Borno

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #251 on: June 19, 2007, 11:40:58 AM »
 ;D  ;D   Muda, a gaisheka, u go kill me with laugh
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #252 on: June 19, 2007, 04:35:30 PM »
Woman goes into a butcher's and asks "Is that a sheep's head in the window?"
"No,madame" replies the butcher "Its a mirror."
Oh Dave (I'm on the floor laughing) Thats wicked!!!! hehehehehehehehehehehehehe!!!
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline Mufi

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #253 on: June 22, 2007, 12:23:46 AM »
THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR


A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond

female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

She opened it then slammed it shut & stormed back in the house.

A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again,

opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily,

back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the

lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and

then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is!"

"My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL".


Life is like a flower; more exquisite and precious when shared with others.

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #254 on: June 23, 2007, 08:37:45 AM »
A blonde lived on a farm. She didn't get many visitors, so I went to see her...when I got there, she was standing stiff as a board, out in the middle of the cow paddock. I yelled out to hier, and asked what she was doing standing out there all still and straight. She replied that she was trying to win a Nobel Peace prize. I said, "Well, that's great, but what are you doing in the paddock?" She replied, "I was reading the newspaper, and it said all you had to do to win the Nobel Peace prize was to be outstanding in your field."

A blond was driving down the highway to Disneyland when he saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT." After thinking for a minute, he said to himself, "oh well!" and turned around and drove home. On his way home, the same blond drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS EIGHT MILES." By the time he drove eight miles, he had cleaned 43 restrooms.

Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished the jigsaw puzzle in only six months? Because on the box, it said "From 2-4 years."

Three blondes were sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A game warden came up behind them, tapped one on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses." "We don't have any." replied the first blonde. "Well, if you're going to fish, you need fishing licenses." "But officer," replied the second blonde, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river." The warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, he left. As soon as he was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb cop," the second blonde said to the other two, "doesn't he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?!"
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

 


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