Author Topic: Make Me Laugh!  (Read 407822 times)

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Offline waduz

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #435 on: December 11, 2007, 12:54:30 PM »
A man is driving down a country road when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.

The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?"

The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."

"How?" asks the man, puzzled.

"Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field." ;D




Offline waduz

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #436 on: December 12, 2007, 10:12:56 AM »
Hillary Clinton dies and goes to Heaven. She meets St. Peter at the Gates, and notices thousands of clocks. "What are all these clocks for?" she asks St. Peter. "Each person has one," he replied. "They start at midnight, and every time someone tells a lie, it moves ahead one minute. This one is Mother Teresa's. She never lied, so it never moved. This one is George Washington's. He told only two, so it is at two minutes past midnight."
Hillary looks around and asks, "So, where is Bill's clock?" "Oh ,"St. Peter chuckled, "Jesus has that one in his office. He's using it as a ceiling fan." ;D

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #437 on: December 12, 2007, 11:54:47 AM »
"So, where is Bill's clock?" "Oh ,"St. Peter chuckled, "Jesus has that one in his office. He's using it as a ceiling fan." ;D

Kai jama'a !!!  >:( .......hahahaha!! ;D
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline Dave_McEwan_Hill

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #438 on: December 13, 2007, 06:16:01 PM »
A wee festive poem for forumites presently shivering in Europe or North America.

[i]I made myself a snowball
As perfect as could be
I thought I'd keep it as a pet
And let it sleep with me
I made it some pyjamas
And a pillow for its head
Then last night it ran away
But first.......it wet the bed[/i]
maigemu

Offline sadiq

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #439 on: December 13, 2007, 08:51:55 PM »
A wee festive poem for forumites presently shivering in Europe or North America.

[i]I made myself a snowball
As perfect as could be
I thought I'd keep it as a pet
And let it sleep with me
I made it some pyjamas
And a pillow for its head
Then last night it ran away
But first.......it wet the bed[/i]

Nice one Mr Dev. Thumbs-up man
oday s beautiful moments are tomorrow s golden memories.

Offline gogannaka

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #440 on: December 13, 2007, 11:44:55 PM »
A man is driving down a country road when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.

The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?"

The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."

"How?" asks the man, puzzled.

"Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field." ;D





LOL
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Offline waduz

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #441 on: December 14, 2007, 10:38:10 AM »
Barebari ku toshe kunnuwanku. Wai wani babarbare ne kaninsa yayi hatsari da mashin har ya rasu. To, in mutane sunzo masa ta'aziyya sai ya ce, " Wallai, fulan kwano ta yi aiki, Madu ta mutu, amma kanta kam bai fashe ba." ;D ;D ;D

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #442 on: December 14, 2007, 01:15:27 PM »
Oh God that was really funny Waduz.. Hala bafillatani ne kai shi ya sa ka juya joke din on Barebari... sai DB ya jiyo ka takwana....
hular kwano tayi aiki .. Oh God I am going to have a tummy ache laughing ;D ;D ;D ;D
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline Dan-Borno

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #443 on: December 14, 2007, 02:06:58 PM »
Here goes mine:

Wani Babarbare da bafillatani suka kama biri
suka ci.  Da zasu shigo gari sai suka yi shawara
akan cewa nobody should know that they ate
monkey as it is almost a taboo in hausa land.

Daga shigansu gari sai bafillataninka yace suje
bakin rijiyancan su sha ruwa, daga zuwan su
sai fullo yace "salamu alaikum aba mu ruwa mu sha
munci abu mai maiko maiko"

Sai babarbare ya harari ba fillatani on the pretext
that the fullo should'nt blow their cover.

Sai bafillatani yace very loudly to the hearing of
all those at the well - "Nace mun shi biri ne?
ba nace mun shi abu mai maiko maiko ba".
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

Offline *~MuDa~*

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #444 on: December 14, 2007, 09:02:41 PM »
A wee festive poem for forumites presently shivering in Europe or North America.

[i]I made myself a snowball
As perfect as could be
I thought I'd keep it as a pet
And let it sleep with me
I made it some pyjamas
And a pillow for its head
Then last night it ran away
But first.......it wet the bed[/i]

Oh ho! Ewan...very well! lol!

You guys check this naija joke...

A Yoruba Man was sitting with an Ibo man and a Hausa man in  Saudi
Arabia, sharing a smuggled barrel of beer, when all of a sudden  the
police entered and arrested them. They were initially given a  death
sentence but, as it was a national holiday, the sheikh decided  they
should be released after each receiving 20 lashes of the whip. As
theywere preparing for their punishment, the sheikh said, "It's my  first
wife's birthday today and she asked me to allow each of you one  wish
before your whipping, but you cannot wish not to be  whipped!"

The Hausa man thought for a second then said: "Please  tie a pillow to
my back before whipping." This was done but the pillow lasted  10
lashes.

The Ibo man saw this and said: "Please tie two  pillows to my back
before whipping." This was done and lasted for the whole  20 lashes.

The Yoruba Man saw this, but before he could make his  wish, the
sheikh said: "As you share the same ethnicity with the president  of
your country, you are permitted to have two wishes!"

The  Yoruba Man thought for a second, then said: "Thank you, most
royal and  merciful highness. My first wish is to receive 100 lashes
with the strongest,  toughest whip available." "If you so desire," the
sheikh replied with a  questioning look on his face, "and your second
wish?" "Tie the Ibo man to my  back."


...He begot not, nor is He begotten!
www.articlesdir.co.cc

Offline waduz

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #445 on: December 15, 2007, 10:27:10 PM »
lol!!!!! Kai amma dai baa kyautawa inyamus dinnan ba. Shin ya ya gama da bulali dari muda? ;D ;D ;D

Offline EMTL

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #446 on: December 16, 2007, 10:17:36 AM »
Assalamu alaikum,
.......  got this from a friend, many of might have also.

Friends of Warri People We dey hail o! Enjoy!
THIS HAPPENED IN A CLASSROOM IN WARRI
Teacher : You boy, spell plantain
Boy : Whish One ? The ripe one abi the unripe one ?
Teacher : Shuo !!! What difference does it make? Just spell plantain. Abi you wan try me?
Boy : Shuo Teesha, no be fightooo!
  If you fry the ripe one na " DODO"
  If you fry the unripe one na "SHIPS"
  If you roast am, na "BOLI"
  If you soak am come dry am na "KPEKERE"
  All of dem na plantain,
  so whish one you wan make I spell.
Teacher : Na wao for una o ! wafi people! I bow o
In the Affairs of People Fear Allah (SWT). In the Matters Relating to Allah (SWT) Do not be Afraid of Anybody. Ibn Katthab (RA).

Offline *~MuDa~*

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #447 on: December 16, 2007, 05:25:56 PM »
LAUGH OUT REALLY LOUD, Honnestly men, this should be the joke of the months men, there should be an award in that category, i just cant help laughing!
...He begot not, nor is He begotten!
www.articlesdir.co.cc

Offline waduz

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #448 on: December 17, 2007, 08:19:14 AM »
LAUGH OUT REALLY LOUD, Honnestly men, this should be the joke of the months men, there should be an award in that category, i just cant help laughing!





That will be great. In what form will the reward be? ;D

Offline bakangizo

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #449 on: December 17, 2007, 11:32:22 AM »
Assalamu alaikum,
.......  got this from a friend, many of might have also.

Friends of Warri People We dey hail o! Enjoy!
THIS HAPPENED IN A CLASSROOM IN WARRI
Teacher : You boy, spell plantain
Boy : Whish One ? The ripe one abi the unripe one ?
Teacher : Shuo !!! What difference does it make? Just spell plantain. Abi you wan try me?
Boy : Shuo Teesha, no be fightooo!
  If you fry the ripe one na " DODO"
  If you fry the unripe one na "SHIPS"
  If you roast am, na "BOLI"
  If you soak am come dry am na "KPEKERE"
  All of dem na plantain,
  so whish one you wan make I spell.
Teacher : Na wao for una o ! wafi people! I bow o
Good one, man. ;D

 


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