Author Topic: Make Me Laugh!  (Read 407811 times)

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Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #450 on: December 17, 2007, 11:45:53 AM »
I think I missed the Warri classroom joke, cos I cant see what is so very funny about it, except for a smart mouthed kid... ???
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline waduz

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #451 on: December 18, 2007, 10:25:47 AM »
Wai wani babarbare ne makwabtansa duk suka sayi raguna don babbar sallah. Shi kuma da kyar ya samo wani dan taure don ya yanka ran sallah. Yana jan dan taure har ya iso gida. Da matansa ta ganshi da taure sai ta ce masa ba a nan gidan ba! Lallai ya koma ya nemo rago kamar yadda makwabtansu su ka samo. Sai ya ce da ita ai iya karfinsa kenan. Kawai sai ta tashi ta tafi gidansu ta fadawa babanta. Sai baban ya aika a kira mashi mijin. Da zuwansa ya tambayeshi me ya shiga tsakaninsa da matansa. Ya kwashe labarin duk abin da ya faru game da tauren da ya sayo musu don sallah. Baban matar yayi ta mata fada, yana cewa ai sai ta yi hakuri, domin kowa da iya karfin da Allah ya masa. Shikenan, sai suka kama hanya zasu tafi gida, sai baban yace da mijin 'yar tasa, wai ya aiko masa kan da kafafuwan tauren bayan ya yanka. Sai mijin ya ce, to in ya yi haka, su kuma su ci me?! ;D ;D ;D

Offline MySeLf

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #452 on: December 18, 2007, 11:33:37 AM »
Wato ba mamora jikin dan tauran sai kai da kafafo ko waduz? hehehe lol...
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Offline sadiq

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #453 on: December 18, 2007, 11:59:17 AM »
A thief went to steal his neighbours ram. he was about to tie it on his bike when the owner shouted from inside "malam lafiya"? the thief answered "zan kowa mashi machine ne". the neighbour responded "miko shi nan, ai ya iyya.
oday s beautiful moments are tomorrow s golden memories.

Offline MySeLf

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #454 on: December 18, 2007, 12:13:01 PM »
Ha ha ha ha ha, lol sadiq..... Lallai kam ya iya, and need no extra lesson..lol
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Offline Mufi

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #455 on: December 18, 2007, 01:03:31 PM »
A thief went to steal his neighbours ram. he was about to tie it on his bike when the owner shouted from inside "malam lafiya"? the thief answered "zan kowa mashi machine ne". the neighbour responded "miko shi nan, ai ya iyya.



Lol!! Lol!!! Ha! ya! ya! dan Allah kubi mu a hankali dai, my stomach is hurting ;D ;D ;D
Life is like a flower; more exquisite and precious when shared with others.

Offline Dave_McEwan_Hill

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #456 on: December 19, 2007, 11:01:29 PM »
The magic of elevators!

A ***** boy and his father were in a mall.  They were amazed by almost
>> everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that
>> could move apart and then slide back together again.
>> The boy asked, "What is this, father?"
>> The father, never having seen an elevator, responded, "Son, I have never
>> seen anything like this in my life.  I don't know what it is."
>> While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old
>> lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button.
>> The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room.
>> The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers
>> above the walls light up sequentially.  They continued to watch until it
>> reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in reverse
>> order.
>> Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde
>> stepped out.  The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said
>> quietly to his son, "Go get your mother."


>> ******   can be any group you wish to poke fun at
maigemu

Offline gogannaka

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #457 on: December 19, 2007, 11:14:41 PM »
LOL Dave...
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Offline *~MuDa~*

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #458 on: December 22, 2007, 02:19:00 PM »
Yo...this is an old GGNK joke, one of his first, i like it very much so i reposting it here!

After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year, Russian scientists
found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to the
conclusion that their ancestors already had telephone network 1000
years ago.
So not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists
dug 200 metres and headlines in the US papers read: "US scientists
have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibres, and concluded that
their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000
years earlier than the Russians."
One week later, the Nigerian newspapers reported the following: "After
digging as deep as 500 metres, Nigerian scientists have found
absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their
ancestors were already using wireless!!
...He begot not, nor is He begotten!
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Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #459 on: December 22, 2007, 07:55:49 PM »
Muda that was lame. U know why? bcos as u said it was posted b4 and i happened to have read it way back and found it hilarious. second reason why its not funny anymore is because the wireless is not a novelty anymore. Its so everyday that its mundane. ::)
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline bakangizo

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #460 on: December 24, 2007, 12:06:12 PM »
A man was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on an airplane. Being bored, he turned to the girl and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'

The girl, who would rather be left alone as she was reading a book, closed it slowly and said to the man, 'What would you like to talk about?'

'Oh, I don't know,' said the man. 'How about nuclear power?'

'OK,' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff... grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'

The man thought about it and said, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'

To which the girl replied, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh1t?

Offline waduz

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #461 on: December 24, 2007, 01:46:04 PM »
 
 
Why Americans Shouldn't Be Allowed To Travel

These events were encountered really by someone.



The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:
1. I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
2. A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost information, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
3. I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response was "click".
4. A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."
5. I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said, "But they look so close on the map."
6. Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."
7. A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!
8. A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while "I looked into it," (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained that the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
9. I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them.
10. "A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."
11. A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double-checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."
12. A woman called to make reservations. "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York." The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent asked, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"

Americans kenan!

 

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #462 on: December 24, 2007, 06:51:59 PM »
Dumbasses!   ;D
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Offline *~MuDa~*

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #463 on: December 24, 2007, 08:34:51 PM »
Muda that was lame. U know why? bcos as u said it was posted b4 and i happened to have read it way back and found it hilarious. second reason why its not funny anymore is because the wireless is not a novelty anymore. Its so everyday that its mundane. ::)

Haba? But you know other people might not besides i find it very funny though cause i have forgotten so it kind of appeared new to me! ;D

Here is this one though...

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Now, class, closely observe the worms," said the professor while putting a worm into the water.

The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. He then put the second worm into the whiskey. It curled up and writhed about painfully, then quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.

"Now, what lesson can we learn from this experiment?" the professor asked.

Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded confidently, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."
« Last Edit: December 24, 2007, 09:27:58 PM by *~MuDaCriS~* »
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Offline gogannaka

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #464 on: December 25, 2007, 07:13:01 PM »
LOL.....u sure wont get worms!!!
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

 


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