BAZAWARA/BAZAWARI ISSUES.

[HUSNAA]

I harbor nothing against anyone here. However once bitten, twice shy inji bature. You guys are what you are. U are not going to change overnight to something else, so rather than expose myself to another dose of yr kind of jokes banter or in the case of yr older brother,  an immense sense of self importance, it is better that I dont have anything to do with what brought on the fracas in the first place. So although I will write on this thread, I wont participate in any solution seeking or what ever.

To be very frank and sincere, I kinda feel disappointed.

Well learn to live with it Muhsin.

[bakangizo]

I harbor nothing against anyone here. However once bitten, twice shy inji bature. You guys are what you are. U are not going to change overnight to something else, so rather than expose myself to another dose of yr kind of jokes banter or in the case of yr older brother,  an immense sense of self importance, it is better that I dont have anything to do with what brought on the fracas in the first place. So although I will write on this thread, I wont participate in any solution seeking or what ever.

I hope dai wasa kike yi. In ba haka ba, I would be disappointed like muhsin.

[EMTL]

i wonder if my little baby girl is still jammin and by the
way who approved your recess?

July 31st was the initial date proposed for the submission
of the defunct committee to submit its report, but due to
some internal collision the committee was dissolved.

as we draw nearer to 2009 Kano online Get together and
our resolved to come up with something as a united group
bound by same interest, it is very important for us to finish
what we have started.

in view of this, I am announcing a new committee whose
terms of reference is as follows:-

a.  to identify the immediate and remotre cause(s) of divorce in arewa
b.  profer solution to (a) above
c.  make other further recommendations as with regards to family life in arewa

the following are the new members:

1.  Oga Admin               -           Chairman
2.  Husnaa                   -            Member
3.  Gogannaka               -           Member
4.  Bakangizo                -            Member
5.  TukurTukur              -            Member
6.  Mudacris                  -           Secretary

The above committee are expected to finish their work on or before
30th September 2009.  Their report will be scrutinized and approved
for printing as a publication to be distributed free of charge during
the forth coming Kline Get together:

Members of the Editorial/Publishing Committee includes:

1.   HRH EMTL
2.   Jibo
3.   Muhsin to serve as their Secretary

for those of us who attended last year's get to gether, this is what
we agreed upon, that is, do something that will benefit our immediate
environment, and this is the time to put our knowledge of discussion
into use.

all complaints, recommendation and or observation concerning the
constitution of the committee members or topic to be worked upon
is free to comment.

SIGNED
DB

Assalamu alaikum,
Can we move on, please. Lokaci yana tafiya.

Where and when is the GTG?

[Muhsin]

To be very frank and sincere, I kinda feel disappointed.

Well learn to live with it Muhsin.

OK. Thanks :)

[Dan-Borno]

good, EMTL, this time around, there are three possible
locations for the proposed GTG as may be decided by
esteemed members, those in diaspora can also make
recommendation:

 Zaria
 Abuja
 Jigawa  -  to be arranged by jibo (saminu turaki will be invited)
 Maiduguri
 Kaduna -  to be arranged by EMTL and Bakangizo
Gombe
 Hongkong
 Kano    -   to be arranged by Muhsin and Gogannaka
 Gombe
  Manchester

[HUSNAA]

I harbor nothing against anyone here. However once bitten, twice shy inji bature. You guys are what you are. U are not going to change overnight to something else, so rather than expose myself to another dose of yr kind of jokes banter or in the case of yr older brother,  an immense sense of self importance, it is better that I dont have anything to do with what brought on the fracas in the first place. So although I will write on this thread, I wont participate in any solution seeking or what ever.

I hope dai wasa kike yi. In ba haka ba, I would be disappointed like muhsin.

No I'm seriously serious.  I am sure once the solutions to the issue of high rates of divorce are thrashed out by those concerned here, a lot of other ppl will benefit from them. So best of luck to all and sundry.

[Muhsin]

Assalamu alaikum,

DB, EMTL, the rest...

Lets rekindle the GTG thread and continue with this discussion, right? This one is meant for Bazawara/Bazawari stuff. :)

Allah ya taimake mu.

[gogannaka]

I doubt if i had said anything regarding this issue since the thread started.
At first i thought i was unqualified to digress on the issue,and with the help of some members (yes Husnaa :p) i felt unqualified since i am not married or no little about married life.
Not withstanding,i feel it is a great problem we are talking about and i would be glad to see kanoonline championing the cause against the frequent 'mutuwar aure' in our society today.
In my own personal opinion i would heap most of the blame on the men
Our society is a kind of society that a man always goes scott free for whatever offense he commits whereas the females are castigated for the minutest offense.
It is a well known fact that married men openly have affairs with other women or girls.The issue is most times treated with a lackasidal attitude but whenever a woman is found to be cheating around it becomes talk of the town and she is cursed like pharaoh was cursed.It will even affect her children.
I tell you,a man will hardly ever marry a girl that has a bad past even if he had a bad past himself or is even having a bad present.Ai yarinyar tantiriyar yar iska ce...kaza da kaza..
I believe the society helps aggravate the problem. The fact that our society see women as the inferior lot makes the problem even more worrisome. People get married with the mindset that the woman will definitely misbehave. She goes into marriage and she is told to do everything to please the husband.(tun daga nan an fara nuna bambanci).Most people believe that so long as the husband can feed and in some very fair cases, clothe her and the kids,then he has fulfilled his own obligation,no need to please her.And he can treat her anyway he wants. Even worse is the fact that religion is used to justify the injustice meted out against the women.

Presently,the problem women face is that of physical assault.I have heard of like 5 cases within this year and the last whereby the husbands beat up the wife like an animal. I was speaking to a friend and she was telling me how her friend,a very disciplined,humble and beautiful girl was seriously beaten by her husband just 4 months into the marriage. He beat her so much that he tore a part of her ear.
The man has a big family and they always come to his house for lunch or dinner,and they come everyday.
One day some came and she wanted to take a bath so she excused herself and went to take her bath. When he now came he blasted her in front of all the relatives,telling her that she does not respect his relatives,that how can she leave them without giving them food while she go take a bath.
She now reacted angrily that if she were treating them bad obviously they wouldn't have been coming back daily for like 3 months.That was how the wahala started.He beat the hell out of her the following day.
I was so shocked i couldn't even comprehend. I asked what her parents thought and i was told that they asked her to be patient and go back to live with the husband.She is now with him but her father calls her daily to find out her condition.
When i expressed my shock over the issue she now started telling me of girls i know who are having assault problems.It was shocking.
I discussed this with some friends and to my greatest surprise some were trying to justify it. The usual excuse is that 'ai mata ba'a gane musu' or ai mata halin su kaza da kaza ne,ai mata sai a hankali...blah blah blah.
It is this same mindset that women don't think straight that serves as a catalyst to most breakups.

It is high time the judicial system addresses this issue.
I believe that when you see your friend serving jail term for molesting his wife you will dare not touch your own.
The issue of divorce need to be seriously worked out. Men should take responsibility for divorce. I would suggest a sizable chunk(more than half) of the man's wealth be given to the wife upon divorce.That way before one gets married he must be sure it is worthwhile and forever.

[Dan-Borno]

good one, gogannaka.
the committee chairman and secretary should take
note of this memo as a contribution from a member.
inputs like this one will give us a very good ending.

who is next? lets hear your views and solutions pls.

[waduz]

DBN, surely Goga's contribution here has a lot of insights into "man's" irrational behaviour on women. But you see, we cannot all be the same, for there are quite a lot of men that know the limits and delimits of marital chicanery.

The fact still remains, man's best friend is woman! The only thing worth mentioning here is, how does man keep his best friend to his heart and vice versa. However, if all men and women can come to terms with the fact that we cannot do without each other, the better. Really, the condition whereby women leave their matrimonial homes early after marriage is a BIG minus, not only for the couple, but for the society itself. I still believe that we can achieve a blissfully married life, by...

a. Being honest and sincere to our spouse.
b. Doing exactly our side of the bargain.
c. Being tolerant and forgiving.
d. Chosing the right patner.
e. Respecting the statutes and norms of marriage.
f. Listening to words of elders.
g.Striving to marry more than one wife!!!!!!
h.Avoiding divorce after a minor dispute.
i. Giving equal treatment to the wives.
j. Understanding that a women is meant to be loved!
k. Realizing the fact that a woman is ssssooooooo tender, tantalizing, soozing and delicate.
l. Showering her with gifts and going on vacations regularly with her.
m. Making the husband accept, even if falsely, that she is the best of all women.
n. Cooking sumptuous dishes for him.
o. Being so neat and trendy always.
p. Coming back home straight after work.
q. Avoiding bad people's company.
r. Not having any prosmiscuous secret affair.
s. Not seaching/emtying the husband's pockets.
t. Treating parents, relatives and friends very well.
u. Regularly sitting on his/her chair. (some need more explanations here)
v. Avoiding late night out.
w. Regularly entertaining kids at home.
x. Use of offensive words.
y. Unnecessary going to "anguwa"
z. Never taking out family matters in the name of 'Yaji"
........
DBN, I have ran out of alphabets!!!!!!

You can continue from here, ko? I forgot, why remove me from the committee????? :o

[Dan-Borno]

good one, waduz has given us a comprehensive table of
content, if members can dissect the headings as itemized
by waduz will be of great benefit to our work at hand.

ADMIN/ DANYARO
to discuss items (a - e)
a. Being honest and sincere to our spouse.
b. Doing exactly our side of the bargain.
c. Being tolerant and forgiving.
d. Chosing the right patner.
e. Respecting the statutes and norms of marriage.

BARUTIWA
to discuss item (f)
f. Listening to words of elders.

HUSNAA
to discuss items (g - n)
g.Striving to marry more than one wife!!!!!!
h.Avoiding divorce after a minor dispute.
i. Giving equal treatment to the wives.
j. Understanding that a women is meant to be loved!
k. Realizing the fact that a woman is ssssooooooo tender, tantalizing, soozing and delicate.
l. Showering her with gifts and going on vacations regularly with her.
m. Making the husband accept, even if falsely, that she is the best of all women.
n. Cooking sumptuous dishes for him.

GOGANNAKA
to discuss items (o - q)
o. Being so neat and trendy always.
p. Coming back home straight after work.
q. Avoiding bad people's company.


TUKURTUKUR
to discuss items (r - t)
r. Not having any prosmiscuous secret affair.
s. Not seaching/emtying the husband's pockets.
t. Treating parents, relatives and friends very well.

BAKANGIZO
to discuss items (u - y)
u. Regularly sitting on his/her chair. (some need more explanations here)
v. Avoiding late night out.
w. Regularly entertaining kids at home.
x. Use of offensive words.
y. Unnecessary going to "anguwa"

JIBO
z. Never taking out family matters in the name of 'Yaji"
........ and any other untourched area please.

MUDA
Please take notes of the above as they present.

[HUSNAA]

DB zancen kake so...................... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Hahahahahaha
This is the sum total of my contribution.

[Muhsin]

 ::) ::) ::)

[waduz]

DBN, thanks a lot for the allocation of topics for individuals. They should make a little research and help us by writing at least two paragraph on each item. By doing that we may likely com out with a detailed booklet for the public. It appears that you have allocated more topics to some, may be they merit that.

[Muhsin]

Assalamu alaikum,

I was discussing this project with my aunt yesterday. She inquired either this is gonna be written in English alone? Answered yes. She further suggested it should also be translated into Hausa for the use of people like her, she said, who could not read and understand turanci.

Ya kuka gani, house?