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Husna i don knw wat to say, u r very lucky i guess who knws it might hav been ur head someday if i ran out of heads. anyhow hope u achieve ur dreams out there. so r u gonna go back home eventually when u graduate? or wat u gonna do? take care.

Hajiya Unknown.
I always feel happy when I can be of service to ppl. I am glad that I can be of service to you, kuma Allah Ya Karbi addu'oinki bi sur'a bi sur'a, Amin.
I believe you now when you say that you have never slept with this guy. You must try not to think too badly of the girls on this forum, it was a little hard to believe at first that both of you could be in a celibate relationship for four years with so much passion running high! Some of us used a bit more tact that's all.
This makes the guilt burden of your case so much lighter. Unfortunately, it does not make the repercussions for you less or lighter.  
I've been thinking about your case since  I read it. I'm usually like that, If something gets at me, I can't easily remove it from my mind. I keep going over it in my mind and analysing it. So I was going to write a rejoinder on what Gimbiya has written, but since you have responded, I might as well direct it at you.
I re read your story and got aquainted with more facts which had not registered in my mind the first time I read it. So I was going to say to Gimbiya that sitting your brother in law and talking to him may not work, since by your own admission you have done so and it has not worked. In fact he caused you a minor accident and he becomes all nerveless and things start slipping from his grip, and also his wish for death rather than remove this obssession from his heart.
To me he sounds like a sick man in need of medical attention, some psychoanalysis actually. But since you cannot be able to help him in that way, and he will not listen to reason, then aprt from the prayers, that you should be doing, you should begin to avoid being with him whether alone or even in a crowd, as much as is possible for you, and as much as is possible for him not to realise that you are avoiding him, otherwise the situation could turn ugly.  
Also recite La ila ha illa antas Subhanaka inni kuntu minaz zalimin as many times as you can during the day or night (especially when you find your self unavoidably alone with him), and La Haula wa la Kuwwata illa Billah.
I'm going to give you something else. This should be for your husband to make him love you more than before, so that come what may, you will still be together.
When you wake up to pray Subhi, get a cup of warm water or cold water. Get some honey about two spoonsful. Mix the water with the honey. If you cannot get honey, sugar will do. keep the water nearby and say your subhi prayers. Once you finish and you have said your daily supplications, bring the cup of water next to you. Recite Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim 786 times and blow over the cup of water, with the intention of gaining your husband's love and trust. Then every morning or afternoon, pour some of the water in his tea or drink. You should do this for a week. So the cup of honeyed water should last you a week. There is no need to do the whole process every day. Za ki ga abin alajabi. My advise still stands though: Don't tell him anything.
I think you are talking about Gimbiya when you say EMKAY. At the present if you want to contact her, then you have to join the forum then you can write to her privately. On the other hand she can write to you through your email address. But I think it is better if she contacts you first. This way your privacy is still very much ensured.

Waye yace........aure between a a man brother to his wife is not permissable in Islam.? ::) If at all a man & wife r seperated, divorced or the husband died. Then there is every right for a brothers husband & wife to wed...........subjecting to the fact that she is not in marriage tyez with the husband.
If at all a man divorces his wife....she has every ryt to marry the brother....
Its juss something that has to do with tradition...that I find very annoying....amonst the hausa...........watz d biggie dating or ending up to marry ur boy freids best mate? I mean ....ppl make it sound soooooooo ridiculous..Its not haram....but esp hausa....they turn it in2 some big issue....

For Lady Unknown..............yeah alot of ppl have told of their stories.....& in ur own case....2 me its juss like everyday history....I have seen & heard wat could b termed as in ur case a minor....I have seen & heard major...cases. As long as u said u've warned him...thats fyn,,.....If he doesnt listen make a report to ur husband & come clean....we all make mistakes once in a life time.....ok mayb things went a lil bit 2 far....but then we r all being fair enuff 7 considerate to wat we think. I personally see no biggie.............we all make mistake & we all repent & we all ask 4 4giveness....If Allah subhanawata'alah wud fynd a heart 2 4give...so let alone others......So ppl ya'all dont need 2 go grabby on mi lady aye!!
We leave in peace lady unknown...

Ok shall we proceed................................
Err.....Ummul u stikll see white cars...........MohIb....how about ur biten off by rats feet....Ihsan....yeah mayb u r naughty when u were lil...hope u dont go peepins no more....Nas our babe...will still leave on(RIP BLAD) Millie whenz...d weddin cumin up? & finally blad Hafsy...hoep u've stopped goin 4 free ryds.....no more contacts....& no more secrh browse & select........

LALLAI KANOONLINERS....YA' ALL HAVE LED A LIFE!!!

lol!  ;D :D Yes they have all seen better days

Ummita, you've got me all wrong.
There is nothing in a brother marrying his bother's ex wife even if the X husband were alive. What is forbidden in Islam is for a man to encourage a married woman to leave her husband so that HE may marry her. Marriage becomes HARAM for ever between a man and a woman if the the man tries to persuade the woman to marry him while she is still married to another man. It does not have to be between brothers either. It is between any man and woman that can lawfully marry each other in Islam.
You must know that a divorced woman is not supposed to be courted by a suitor until she has completed her terms of Idda. So if that is not allowed in Islam, then this is definitely TABOO!
And Ummita, it is not as easy as you make it sound i.e. come clean if Allah SWT can forgive us, why not us forgive each other? You have answered your question. We are not Allah SWT. We don't have His Patience Perseverance and Magnanimity. He is not Influenced by anything.
We are humans subject to emotions and the influence of circumstances. How do you know how her husband is going to react under these circumstances? I know the majority of men would do something which they will regret later or not at all. It's a life with so much at stake that we are talking about. Besides ai Allah Ya na Ganin all of them. In Allah Ya so, He would have made the husband aware of what was happening, a long time before this, after all this thing lasted for four years. Obviously, there must be good in the woman, kuma she has not fully betrayed her husband. Ai Allah Ya na sane da haka. This is a supreme trial from Allah, believe me and it seems that she at least is passing the test. Dukkan mu nan sai Allah Ya jarrabe mu da one situation or another to test the level of imanin mu. Some of us wanda Allah Ya so da Rahamarsa go through it without even realizing that they are being tested, because of the level of patience da Allah Ya zuba musu. And we are not crabbing at her. She came with the problem seeking some comfort and Alhamdullillahi she found some.
This is just not the right time for a confession of this nature. By all means she should confess one day, but not now. Too much is at stake for her.
No more white cars for me thank God. The only thing I see these days is a long stretch of tarmac and my two feet pounding the tarmac one after the other.

ight guyz hold on a minute.....ummul i understand what u saying but look at it thiz way.lady unknown brought herself in the mess she iz right now dats 4 sure but it doesn't sound as intricating as she makes it seem.i believe she is in no dilemma,cuz by saying she is, she's like in the middle and she  has her husband by one side and the brotha by the other side,and she has to choose btwn the two of 'em no! thats not it.to mii she shud assume diz guy(the bro) is some retard or he doesnt even exisit
       the message is simple and plain ,she made a blow by allowing their relationship span to a lenght of 4 yearz ok.....dats a mistake right but then tell mi wat  gud will it doo her if she tells everyone in dis world about her and the bro and not telling her husband?i'm perfectly sure there is this guilty feeling that will forever deny her any  peace at heart if she chose to zip her mouth.
              ight they dont see each other anymore dats gud the next thing is she shud pray to God  and tell him(husband)and try to convince him it waz out of the devils work and dat he shud 4give her.

From all stories I have seen here and read, I have learnt that my issue is something which I can disucss here. I would like to pay my condolense respect to Nas, Allah ya jikan ta. I have also heard about her death amman bansan ku ba. yau kanoonline ta hada mu.

I am 21yrs. My father owns his own business and my mother is a doctor. I was the only female child with three older brother. I grew up to learn the hard ways. To strive & work hard. Both three brothers have reached their ambition of what they want to be. My older brother is a pilot, second is an engineer and the last one urned out to be a doctor. All my life , when I was a little girl I wanted nothing but to be Doctor. I studied hard to make it through. My father adored me so much, I had everything ranging from all sorts. At aged 19 I got my first car. I was everything to my parents. I was the first priority to my brothers. They treated me so well. Familied & relatives liked me so much. I was trained to respect, to love one another. I graduated from Islamic school recitation when I was 13yrs. I did my high school and am currently in uni and working at the same time. Life was good. Everything went well for me. I last time I shedded tears , was when my brother fought someone on my behalf. that was back then in high school. So you can imagine the kind of love I had. Not until this day. I got engaged to a man from Kaduna State. I was to finish uni before we got married. By then my father married a second wife. Well she was good for a state. Then with time things began to change. Living life, family love was out of the question. My father hardly sits to talk to us. H e never speaks of my mother, talkless of my brothers. My mother was just staying in the house...with the name called marriage but not practising marriage. I grew some sort of hatred towards my father for neglecting my mother. She never dares go close to him. She told me the last time she saw my own father and her own husband was 6wks ago..and living in the same shelter. As we all know, people said my step mum had a hand in that. Well I didnt care because I wasnt the ype into all that. My father took back the car he bought for me, said he was no more going to pay for  my tuitution fees without no reason, he told me brothers to bring back all documents and leave the houses he has bought for each of them. The cars he bought them he took it back. My older brother gave his own car to his first son..but even that my father still asked for it. My mother was asked never to go to work or she will cut the thread of marraige between them. My Mother wasnt broke because she maintained her saving. My brothers had their own...so imagine inda bamu da abun hannunmu ya kenan. I worked part time in a solicitors chamber and did manage my mums business. So money wasnt the problem.

This day I came back from uni and found blood all over my mums sitting room. I knew something was wrong. I sensed it, now I know that was the reason I told my lecturere I wanted to go home. He asked why? I didnt know. I ran to my mums room, there laying on the floor was my mother in a pool of blood gasping for air. She called out my name. There I lost control I only sat by her door step staring at her and sobbing. It never occured to me to act quick. Then I regained my sense I ran to the sitting room where I left my bag. I could not find my cars Keys. My brother bought me a car. I searched thinking I just dropped it. I ran to call for my step mum and she told me to get out as I was disturbing her sleeping baby. I now ran to my neighbours house (my engaged boyftreinds house) called him out asked for keys and I grabbed it off him and headed for his cars. I have never been into their compound before...amman na matsu don uwata na cikin wahala. I came home. I couldnt enter the room thinking maybe she was dead by then. I just stood by the door way. Then my fiancee came down worried. He asked what was wrong I just pointed out my mums room. He went in then from there I didnt know what happened. All my fiancee told me was that I had passed out. My father was infromed of my mothers situation, all he uttered was, what does he care?
If not he was my father, he would have regretted being alive

My mother recovered and began to tell the story. She had a fight with my step mum, who used (roofing shit, langa langa) to hit my mum. after their fight my mum went into her room to say her prayers only to realise she has been bleeding from her wrist...there she lost energy and collapsed. Immediately my mum finished, I dug out some valium tablets....gave it to my mum...I lied to her that it was some pain killers. After I was rest assured she has half way gone. I bolted out this heavy chain and headed for my step mums room. Sh was on the phone. I locked the door room and only God knew, because I didnt know I did so much damage till the door was broken by my brother. I had already swore that I will leave her with marks for the rest of her living life, which I did. Missions completed, no regrets. 8) No one touches my mother and goes free. Had it been my mum was awake she will make it a mission impossible..Thank God to Valium pills. My mum heard of what I did but wasnt that happy. My step mums packed out and them there came loads of charm locks (laya) that she used to powerised my family, to tear my family apart. Shes gone, my fathers back and thigns are back to normal. Thanks to Allah
Thanks Ummita  

Ayyah Mariya...wallahi ur story abun tausayi...and that was a good thing u did... idan tasan wata ay bata san wata ba  8)
And Alhamdulillah things r back to normal... :)

mariya wat u did was courageous am happy for u that ur family is now back to normal. so wat did ur dad had to say when ur evil step mum left? (u don hav to ans just curious) anhow all the best. take care of u

ok listen to this guys opinons will be very helpful. when i was 15yrs, had a huge actually humungus crush on some guy who was 20, and some how, i got his no, and startd callin him up to chat he thougth i was cute and brave.... anyhow wit tyme i feel in love wit him( well thats wat i think happened) anyhow we became friends, when i was 17yrs he started to come chk on me at home say hi, and go home then call me on the fone and we talk for hrs till early hrs of the mornin(this happens when he comes nija for summer) anyhow as for me i was fallin deeper for this guy, was all goody gooody thinkin am gonna marry this guy (in my gurlly fantasy) well the guy no dey giv me show so i confessed that hav always been inlove.... and he was like how could u i cant go out wit u, u r like a sis to me i was like no am not u wont call ur sis at unholly hrs of the nite and talk till the morning anyhow the guy was like it will ruin our friendship blablabalab.... so sha we still friends, started seein other ppl. so went away to skool, meet some yoruba guy, started goin out wit him only to discover he was two yrs yonger than i, anyhow the guy was nice so i was age nuthin but a no. so went on then some guy that i knew told me am the gurl he has always wanted ,,,,,,,, and i was like we shall c but sha the guy took it the wrong way, and was all ova me in a way, and me for abt a yr, so when i saw him a yr later (coz i neva saw him when he confessed it was ova the fone and internet), i was plannin to say hey u misunderstood me...., but i couldnt and he lost his dad and i didnt hav the balls to say anythin to him, so sha the guy already had planned my future wit him and me i didnt knw wat to say so wateva he said i said k k k . then i left for skool again. and back to my yoruba b/f but then i found him too childish so i was like me i no fit so lets break up(and all am thinkin of is the other guy the one i mentioned from the beginin 24/7) anyhow at first he was bein difficult but later on he was like k. then i was like lets get back he was like k, and then the other guy who wants to marrry me was like ok i want u to go back home so we can get married i was like r u mad? i hav my education to finish..... anyhow i was like i am not gonna take any shit from u. and he accused me of playin him..... and my crush guy(whom i forgot to mention is my best friend) said i did the rite thing. and the yoruba guy, his so called best friend came and asked me out which really pissed me off. so i went to my ex bf, and was like y is ur friend askin me out he  was nah no way i was like yes way anyhow i told the guys ex gurl and he denied it ... but he neva came to me and said y did u tell me ex and ur ex. so guys help the sis out here  i knw u r gonna think am nutta here but still need ur opinion on all this mombojumbo. will really appreciate

I just dey laugh wickedly. He he he ashe somebody don pass me for browse search & select. Gel (ummi) he heh I just dey nack hand por tebur. Why di bobo no like you. ah ah he hi  Abeg Fella pass me tissue, my eyes dey water.

Now yoruba guy dey por lead y u reject that one. Kai alamuran kano onliners bai karewa. Ke, baki san yadda ake saka mutum son dole ba. Hear this carry sword go him face. Na propose zai yi,. He he he......ayyyyyy awooo ewoo my belle. Na you wey get correct sense por this place. eyoo my belly. To Ummi wanne muka zaba yanzu
Yoruba guy or I have a hit crusher

Anty Unknown kuma. I read yuwa sitori. Ibi like say na fiction. but I now say na lie my brain dey tell me . Anyway I have seen alot have advised, yanzu idan nace wani abu. U might think am crazy. Oya di besti solution go tell yuwa bobo. but if he carry stick. Ke ni kaina nima matar aurece. nasan yadda rayuwa take. Ki share kawai kiyi tuba.

Assalam to u all,hope kowa da kowa is doing fine,Haba my sisters do u think i'll be annoyed with u just because u exxpressed ur views?no ,not at all, i'm not angry infact i'm expecting more harsher words and condemnation ,but still u expressed ur views in a matured way,yhe only thing is i am trying to set the record straight,by explaining further.Who on earth can raed this topic and praised the writer unless such person is not exixting in human world,so is all due to individual differences u just read but u can interpret it the way ur mind focus,so may be some see my reply as somebody who is annoyed,even if u abused me,i really deserved it,because of my offence,and about what abdulmaleeq said i'll felt guilty for the rest of my life if i didn't confess,i think not now that i have found soothing words cunselling and great du'a,u're aware of one of the shurud of taubat is regretting what one did and promising in his mind not to do same for his remaining days on earth,so,that's exactly what 'am trying to do,with ur kind concern insha'allah i will pass this test.U DON'T KNOW THE EFFECT OF THIS CINAMANA :'( in my heart,i took the pain of asking one mal[though not directly]and he said had it been that i hade sex with that man then i have to confess to my husband,but since there is no such.. i should ask Allah's forgiveness and continue with my life.
btw::: ummulhuda and gimbiya i don't think i have enough words to thank u,what i'll say is u ll 4ever remain in my heart,and by Allah's grace i wiil continue to pray for u,and all kanoonliners,may Allah guide us all.
ma'assaalam. ???

Oh my days. Mariya you really have guts. You did the right thing. Mothers are worth everything to guide them for.

To Mrs unknown I wish I can read your story. I cant read hausa. Now I will just hang on till my fiancee comes over so that he can translate it.

Hafsa is so funny. I hope to have a child like you who will always make me happy

well Ummul...lol.. Allah ua kareh! :)

Mariya..... kin hadu.. wallahi ur hard core oh... i salute u well well ;)

Hafsa... go back to that mental asylum enh... wallahi ur own don exceed madness... 8)

Unknown... if i were u. i'd repent SINCERELY!!.. and avoid the hubby's bro like he was a plague...(cuz he kinda is)
really..... to even think of divorcing ur hubby and then marryin' his bro is TRIFLIN!!!!!!!....ask forgiveness from Allah.....
ps... i wouldnt tell my  hubby tho... ::) Allah Ya che.. dont tona ur asiri... repent and dont repeat it... :-X

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Hafsa... go back to that mental asylum enh... wallahi ur own don exceed madness... 8)
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Lallai u call me craze.. How can you conclude that am mad hadda wallahi.....? Some ppl sef their head na real ova zero....Now you tell me who fits PERFECTLY to be regarded as a complete mad gurl who needs to be tied up in a straight jacket? he he he he ;D Go rest gel.


NOW Mariya, I juss dey laugh my head like so...Na correct thing you do like so. Na you gel na you...I sure say na you wey win Mike Tyson championship....Na correct as you buga shege....like this.Even Ali boxer no fit...I like yuwa style.  But errrrrrr as you give our mother (because yuwa mama bi my mama as well ) you sure say you no ova dose am?  Because ova dose...go fit proceed our mama wo!!!

In ADMINISTRATOR KUMA. OGA admin..I post response it appear as aunty Mariya name. I posted another response at the poem section it appreaed as Hamza. Plz look into this situation. & then again I registered ages ago. but I cant sign it. But plz take note on the name errors.
Thanki you  ;)