Author Topic: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE  (Read 42015 times)

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Offline baby_gal_84

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #15 on: June 06, 2003, 01:39:59 AM »
 :-/ :-/ :-/ beatin is barbaric. kids can be frustratin and they push yu to do wot yu dont want to. but my belive is that when kids are young (i mean 2  to about 6) they shud only be shouted but not beatin when doin somethin wrong but as muslinci said when a child is 7yrs old if baiyi sallah he shud be beatin............. but i like the way we are brought up africans/nigerian i thank god i am african nigerian coz i swear some kids are far from wot we call moral behaviour. Allah dai ya kiyaye.
ond of love fills the life with sweet promises.

Offline gogannaka

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U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #16 on: June 06, 2003, 03:01:21 AM »
I dont think babaric is the right word to descrite child beating that's a strong or rather harsh word.Sometimes one dosen't know when he/she loses temper which results to beating most of the time..At times when someone beats a child unnecessarily he/ she regrets and at times apologises,but if the child really deserves spanking he really shud be spanked b'cos there r things that when a child does shud be punisshed severely.For example when a child abuses an elderly person he shud be punished else he'll/she'll adopt the habit..
I strongly believe that the best way to raise up a moral child is to ask God almiighty 4 assistance and the mother shud always pray 4 the child to be of good morals;since the mother's du'a is very important......allah ya bamu yaya' masu albarka kuma ya albarkaci zuriyar mu..ameen..
one thing i 4got (this is to my brothers out there)"when looking 4 a wife ku zaabo wadda take da tarbiyya +good upbringing that way u're assured of your children's good upbringing inshaallah
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

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Re: U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #17 on: June 06, 2003, 04:38:10 PM »
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I dont think babaric is the right word to descrite child beating that's a strong or rather harsh word.Sometimes one dosen't know when he/she loses temper which results to beating most of the time..

What is best to describe beating then? Of course it is barbaric! Is it not barbaric to carry something, like a big rod, cable or a big branch of a tree and start beating a child with no feelings! That child is crying! that child is hurt! That child has blood marks! That child is being beaten upon by a grown up person whose strength cannot be compared to that of a child but very overpowering! That child is crying seeking for forgiveness stating that he/she will never do what they did wrong but the parent or who so ever wont listen! They beat their children that will live them with marks till the end eternity and  GOGANNAKA YOU SAY ITS NOT BARBARIC OR WE SHOULD NOT DESCRIBE IT AS BARBARIC? ::)

And agains you said its temper!!!
Oh give me a break!!!!!!!!!!! if a parent cant control his/her temper so the child is an animal for the parent to unleash their temper simply because they cannot control it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? So the child becomes a beating bag! or an object for parents to take it out (their temper) on a child? If at all they fill their child has done wrong, why cant they control their temper, sit a child down and vehemently inform him of his wrong doings and stating why its wrong and tell him of the right thing to do.....!!!!!!!  

I strongly say that beating a child is not the key element to a successful way of bringing up a child. As a member stated in this thread that she was not being beaten up by her parents yet she is proud to speak up that she has a very good behaviou and the way her parents broguht her up indicates that beating is not the way to train onces child!!!!!!!!!!! I am very much with the thread starter (ummita) am with you. Duka ba shibane HANYAR TARBIYAR DA YARA (KADAI) A DUNIYANNAN.

Offline gogannaka

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #18 on: June 07, 2003, 02:55:40 AM »
Haba nafeey,u're still insisting that "barbaric" is a right word for describing beating?
Please try and understand what i mean.I'm not ssaying that beatin is a very good way of training a child, but to face the reality it's not always that one can control his temper especially when dealing with kids.thats why i said at times one regrets after beatin a child...
pls note that i'm just not convinced that beatin a child for diciplinary measures be described as barbaric.If it could,then what can u say about the prohet's(s.a.w) saying that a child that reaches the age of 10 can be beaten for not performing his prayers..
if i may ask u are u the type that never lose ur temper?coz i wud like to hav freinds(maybe a wife also) that never lose their temper ;)
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Offline baby_gal_84

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #19 on: June 08, 2003, 05:28:54 PM »
hhhmm gnaka describin beatin as barbaric might be right coz it only animals that are to be beaten coz they cant speak but when it on human especially kids then i think that cud be barbaric thats is why kids shud not let there parent treat them as animals since they can speak but beatin kids :'( that are small whom cant even speak i think gaskiya it barbaric some people beat kids out of frustration which is not fair a child that does not know yes or no shud not be beaten... i love kids and i dont think i will ever use a hand on my kids only exceptions.
ond of love fills the life with sweet promises.

Offline gogannaka

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #20 on: June 08, 2003, 05:41:27 PM »
u see u said "exceptions"kin gani thats why i reject the word barbaric .it's too harsh
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Offline Sas

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #21 on: June 09, 2003, 07:52:20 PM »
Islamically it is allowed to beat your children when they misbehave but its up to you to decide how to come about it, ok. Definitely the way some parents beat their children is HARSH but its them that will take them to hospital if they injured them.

The issue of whether it is allowed or not should not be a problem to a Muslim except if your Iman is weak (i.e the westerners have gotten what they want from you and you think their way is better).

You can beat your child but in a reasonable and sensible way. Also you may choose not to beat him and talk to him. Thats your own cup of tea. For me I No go beat my child cos I tried it and it worked with my nephew.

My nephew was "afraid" of me but not afraid of my brothers and sisters because I was the only one that don't beat him.  Mostly ina zare mashi ido ne kuma yayi sosai. The thing is that if you have what he wants, he will do what you want.

Hey you know that Islamically you can even beat your wife if she misbehaves right (with a clothe).
ny good thing I said is from Allah and any bad thing I said is from me...So I ask for Allah's forgiveness for my errors both conscious and unconscious ones...Ameen!!!

Offline Fulanizzle

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #22 on: June 10, 2003, 03:55:34 PM »
Salamu alaikum
there's a lot to beating....rather than callin it barbarism.....

personally...i dont see myself beating my kids or beating up any others.....coz i never beat my younger siblings....

u know....i was against beating kids...until YESTERDAY....WHAT I SAW YESTERDAY....sorry to say this but some kids need a good smack upside their backheads!

see we have children that are just madd strong headed no matter how nice u are or what u do  to them...now those need arrangement of their bone structures....

aiight tell ya what....I personally think that PARENTS should be the ONLY ones to lay hands on their kids....and when i say lay hands i dont mean brutal beating...the parents know whats good for their kids and dont want the kid to repeat the same mistake again. anyways,,,, no parents would beat up their kids like goats...

and that is why i think TEACHERS beating kids should be legally banned...coz most of the time the teachers's will take out on the kids with their own frustration and other personal problems...especially that the child isnt theirs....they dont care what harm or damage they will do to the poor soul....
 
parents too shouldnt be the type to beat their children for every atomic mistake they make......a parents should try to scold more than beating.... beating should be done in very rare cases...that is if the child did something very VERY bad. coz if u keep beating ur child everyday....the child will get used to it and will be like more care free....

a child should be taught that beating is done when he or she greatly misbehaved.....so the kid wouldnt get too used to da beating and would be scared that he will be beaten up if he's done something majorly bad....

hmmmm did yall get what im trying to say.....??
peace salam.....
)

Offline Barde

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #23 on: June 11, 2003, 01:50:59 AM »
Quote
Salamu alaikum
there's a lot to beating....rather than callin it barbarism.....

personally...i dont see myself beating my kids or beating up any others.....coz i never beat my younger siblings....

u know....i was against beating kids...until YESTERDAY....WHAT I SAW YESTERDAY....sorry to say this but some kids need a good smack upside their backheads!

see we have children that are just madd strong headed no matter how nice u are or what u do ?to them...now those need arrangement of their bone structures....

aiight tell ya what....I personally think that PARENTS should be the ONLY ones to lay hands on their kids....and when i say lay hands i dont mean brutal beating...the parents know whats good for their kids and dont want the kid to repeat the same mistake again. anyways,,,, no parents would beat up their kids like goats...

and that is why i think TEACHERS beating kids should be legally banned...coz most of the time the teachers's will take out on the kids with their own frustration and other personal problems...especially that the child isnt theirs....they dont care what harm or damage they will do to the poor soul....
 
parents too shouldnt be the type to beat their children for every atomic mistake they make......a parents should try to scold more than beating.... beating should be done in very rare cases...that is if the child did something very VERY bad. coz if u keep beating ur child everyday....the child will get used to it and will be like more care free....

a child should be taught that beating is done when he or she greatly misbehaved.....so the kid wouldnt get too used to da beating and would be scared that he will be beaten up if he's done something majorly bad....

hmmmm did yall get what im trying to say.....??
peace salam.....

Assalamu alaikum, What you said is straight forward and i think is an ideal way of upbringing any child.
im

Offline lionger

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #24 on: June 22, 2003, 05:39:49 AM »
Well said Fulanicious. We shouldn't throw away the baby with the bathwater. And seriously, after observing the West's painful destruction - or as they would liike to call it, 'redefinition' - of the family structure, I think this is one point on which we can afford to give ourselves a LITTLE pat on the back.

Offline Hafsy_Lady

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #25 on: June 23, 2003, 05:52:37 PM »
For all I know and for all I care.........if beyound reasonable doubt a child does wrong. That butt will should surely go red. I dont tolerate anything. Am a no-nonsense taker from a child. I wont go to that extend to say its barbaric beating a child, but if Islam advices a little spanking. Very well northerners take it to the extremes when beating their child to CORRECT THEM. I do agree to beating a child only if he does wrong and in a very reasobbdid not say brutalise your child or turn him into a donkey. nable way.
 ::)please ::) which african child do you think will sit and listen to mummy sayin "oh dont do it  again its very bad, now you can go continue playing" what makes you think he wont do worse than before? Ansa me?
But when he does wrong, mummmy pulls down those boxers and makes sure that black butt turns red.........wat makes you think that if he cant sit his butt proper wont make him stop!!!!!!? Children of nowaday dont take to talking. A child should me spanked when he does wrong.
All those saying they object blah blha .................just trying to be so westernised and all that. When your forefathers raised ya'all, ya'all didnt know anything like couselling or talking it over.......sai yanzu!!!!!!!! ::)  A child, I repat should be flogged when he does wrong.
Sannunku masu iyayin "yan kada a doki yara"

I hereby raise ma case.  :P hey I missed everybody
What you see is what you get[/b]

Offline gogannaka

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #26 on: June 24, 2003, 12:32:16 AM »
;) no one cud've said it better than 1/2sy..Trust ya ;)
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Offline gogannaka

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #27 on: June 28, 2003, 11:44:42 PM »
I was discussing this topic with my uncle and he gave me this little story.
wani mutum ne yana da yaronshi about three or four yrs old.they slept in the same room(father mother and child).every time the boy would wake up and ask his mother he wants to eat this he wants to eat that e.t.c.maman sai tayi ta fada sai baban ya ce mata haba da'allah ki je ki samo mai abin da yake so saboda kar ya hana mu barci...the poor mum would then go and fetch the boy what he wants....one day the mother was pregnant and was admitted in the hospital so the boy was left with his father...deep in the night the boy woke up and said"baba zan ci burabisco"(a kind of food hard to prepare)baban ya juya yace "me" yaron yace "zan ci burabisco" angrily the father swooped his hand under the bed and found a very good shoe...haba he started beatin the child like what..the boy cried and cried(poor him ) .
When the mother came out from the hospital, after some few days she realized the boy dosen't disturb anymore,she asked the father if he had noticed it and he told her the story "wai kawai yaron nan ya tashi da tsakar dare wai zai ci burabisco" she said "ai da ka tashi ka samo masa" to me kayi masa ya" and he told her what he did to the boy...tho she was'nt happy but at least she didn't hav to always wake up to serve the boy

so ina masu cewa ba za a daki yara ba? ? ? ? ?
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #28 on: June 29, 2003, 07:58:57 PM »
:o ::)Tell them let them hear it loud and clear,they want to emulate oyingbo, :-[ :-[ :-[and they dont know that oyingbo mentality is diifferent,look at their children they are mannerless, ???and dont even have pity for their parent,and their culture is different from ours. :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :ouh i am out

Offline al_hamza

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Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« Reply #29 on: July 01, 2003, 04:28:02 PM »
i will talk for the north,
we all know what western culture has taken them to.
Alhamdulillah its the way our parents bring us up that has so far kept us good muslims.
a lady asked my mother when i was young, probably 7, why a cane was hung to the wall always in our drawing room. and she said....
"Annabi yace gidan da aka rataya bulala, yaran gidan bassa fitina".
oh yes someone might talk of the prosperity and technological advancement of the west,
but honestly in Islam bieng rich isnt a goal.
ABILUNAH? SABILUNAH? AL-JIHAD! AL-JIHAD!

 


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