DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE

[Anonymous]

I agrre with the beating of the child to some extent but at the same time other ways are possible. The person I fear the most in my life is my dad and I can only remember once that he bit me with counter "charbi" and it was because I bit hit some doughter of our housegirl.
All he does is to deny me what I want and that works a lot. If a child wants to ride horse, if he misbehave don't give him and next time he won't do what he did. If chocolate is the childs wish, don't give him unless he behaves well. This atleasr works with me and I strongly agree with all the sides of the argument.

It depends on how you raise a child that you will punish him. If he is raised in a crowdy area like in Kano City, definitely talking will not work but if its in quiet area, beating will not work.

To the parents, don't listen to what others have to say about raising your child. Just look back at your early years if you can remember and how your experiences are for someone bringing up his child then do what you have to do. As long as you are old enough to have the child, then you should be old enough to make decisions and decipline him.

One thing that I think is missing in the northerners parenthood is that mostly, the father leaves the house and the mother with children, he never knows what happens and comes back and ask the wife how they are. "Lafiya lau", she will say and they will only talk about them a few minute. The fathers don't normally sit with their children(boys) and talk to them about mens issues as much as the mother does for her daughter.  

[Anonymous]

Good Topic Ummita.

My sibling sisters they dont say beating the say (NASTY CALL)

Just a couple of days ago I heard a shocking story. A yoruba woman gave her daugther the donkiest beating that left her daughter paralized from navel down. The girl was not given MEAT (imagine akan naman miya) so she sneaked to the kitchen and took a piece of meat. The mother found out that a piece was missing. She she gave her daughter NASTY!!!! and now the girl is paralysed for life. (subhanallah)

When I was a little boy (aged 9yrs).I was very naughty, but my mother has never laid a hand on me, but she threatens me saying (zan maka allura) anyway I was very curios about injections.  I was so curios trying to inject somebody on my own. My aunty was a Doctor and she normally keeps her First Aid box out of our reach. I stood on a stool & opened the box. I took out a syringe and a dose of choloquine, dragged the whole thing out and injected her little toddler who was just 3 yrs. She gave me the donkiest beating of my life,. gave me a nasty call. Later  another shocker!! we learnt that even the chloroquine dose was expired. Since that day I never went near a first aid box.

So now beating left a girl paralysed, beating taught me a lesson that I will never repeat again.....but still I dont think I will ever give my wife the orders to lay hand on my child. I dont want the Yoruba mistake happening on my child.

[Fulanizzle]

THE CHYLD IS PARALYZED NOW....AWWW

POBRESITA! AYY

SEE THATS WHY PARENTS SHOULD KNOW THEIR OWN GROUNDS.....WALLAH WANNAN POVERTY KE BUGGIN NASU....HOW CAN U BEAT A CHILD OVER A MEAT!  SOO MUCH THAT...R U SURE ITS HER OWN DAUGHTER???

NOW WHAT UR MOMMA DID TO U WAS 190% CORRECT!
I WOULD HAVE GIVEN U MORE MA! KAI!
ANYWAYZZZ I AM SUCH A LAID BACK PERSON COZ WHATEVER THE DISRESPECT MY SISTERS DO TO ME...I NEVER HIT THEM EVEN IF I TRY THEY JUST LAUGH AT ME...

SO ITS LIKE EACH SUMEMR INSTEAD OF SUMEMR SKOOLZ, ILL SEND MI KIDZ TO THEIR GRANNY....MY MOM...HAH! NOW SHE  IS HOTTER THAN FIRE WHEN IT CUMZ TO DISCIPLINE! FLAWLESS FIRE LADY--her middle name

[gogannaka]

better be beaten than to be INJECTED with xpired chloroquine lol@papi.
hey papi welcome back ;) ummita as well ;D

[ummita]

Thanx Gogannaka..........

(she laffs) really? Gogannaka............it wasnt easy with those itchy chloroquine experiences ryt?............. :P

To be quite honest, I have read alot bout this issue and I have reasoned with alot of ppls view, but all the same why hit a child?  Any person in the right mental capacity should know that children are bound to make mistakes and of course it is the duty of the parents to put them right & not 2 batter them. Theres a difference b/w hitting a child, beating a child, spanking a child and battaering a child. Islamically it stated that it is permissable for the parents to spank their kids if they refuse to pray. Now how many parents spank their children? No they dont spank they beat. And to me beating is just like battering an innconet soul who is bound to make mistakes & beyound reasonable doubt we all know the minds & brains of children is different from ours. It is our duty to guide them. However we should not turn them into animals I dont have children of my own, but I feel it is my duty to train (eg my aunts kids) not even her kids, any muslim child, we have duty on any muslim child we see doing wrong, it is our duty to put them straight, for my aunts kids I dont beat them, I actually deprive them of having what they like....I stop them from having(lets say) sweets, I send them 2 bed early......& do u know it really really works. Because what hurts children is not having what they want but getting what they dont like.

Honestly to me, hitting children does not improve their behavior. It seemed in fact to be reinforcing the very behaviors parents are trying to eliminate. Beating a child will in no doubt perpetuate a cycle of child abuse. Parents who hit their children are also teaching them to hit someone smaller and weaker when angry. Just like Papi said, beating left a girl paralysed, absolutely injuries occur.! There have been issues of the past about children's deaths due to corporal punishment. Not only parents even schools that use corporal punishment often have poorer academic achievement, more vandalism, truancy, pupil violence and higher drop. Beating is often not used as a last resort. It is often the first resort for minor misbehaviors. Spanking hinders development of empathy, remorse, and compassion. The child focuses on the pain rather than the effect of his or her behavior on others. The natural human reaction to being hurt is a flood of anger and fear reaction. This ensures that your child cannot listen, think, or feel remorseful while in the midst of a painful experience. What good does it do, you have finished (giving ur child NASTY, as papi said ;)) but it doesnt do any good.Now why wont we take a pity on these souls, that dont know the difference b/w ryt or wrong @ a tender age? I am sorry (Eskimo) yah u can get upset but I would not (by Allahs will) I will not hit a child neither would I raise my hands on anybodys child as a means of putting them staight.

[zarami]

Dear Ummi,

I saw the recent response you posted on this subject and disagree with you on the alternative punishment of sending child to bed early.  Here is a piece on sleep disturbance in children please.  Thanks.

ZARAMI

[Fulanizzle]

SENDIN a child to bed early....OOH GURL..wazzup wit chu wake up and smell life that doesnt work!...

OH SURE, a child sniffs bamboo...SEND EM TO BED EARLY

YEAH..a chyld cumz home drunk...SEND EM TO BED EARLY

Hmm a child comes home from clubbin..SEND EM TO BED

A CHILD curses his elders..sure why not send em to bed early

A chyld cums home pregnant....PLS tuck her to bed early!

YEAH AND THEN THE WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE! ::)


..I would have been a much more cheerful person if my momma sent me to bed early!! ?:-/

[kilishi]

Send them to bed?hum i am with u fulanicous,so is after the damage has already being done?i am against beating child to some extent but not completely,a lttle tap here and there will do.

[ummita]

a child sniffs bamboo...SEND EM TO BED EARLY
a chyld cumz home drunk...SEND EM TO BED EARLY
a child comes home from clubbin..SEND EM TO BED
a chyld cums home pregnant....PLS tuck her to bed early!

Oh puhleeeeeez ma sista!! rominate deep! Now u tell me......those list of bad behaviours u enlisted up there its OBVIOUS a lil kid wud in NO way any of those.... Now tell me teeanagers,  grown ups or babies?  .......tell me, at wat age would any reasonable person expect a child 2 du these?........

ok wud a 5 yr old sniff Ganja?
Wud a 5 yr old go clubbin?
Wud a 4 yr old get pregnant?
or wud a 3yrs old BABY get drunk?

If these could be termed as the impossbile then I c no reason why an appropriate punishment like sending them 2 BED aint ryt?

Ok ok!!!!! obviously I wouldnt send my 23yr old daugther 2 bed, if she came home drunk, pregnantor is on drugs or alcohol.......As tym flies as days goes by & as children grown....common!!! its obvious my system of punishement will definately CHANGE, no not corporal punishment.

Now send a four yr old 2 bed early shut off their lights(watching their cartoons) 2 bed......It personally works 4 my (grand kids). I am not also enforcin MY own strategy of punishment 2 kids 4 their unlawful behaviour or 4 their nuisance way, RATHER I am suggestin that 4 those that have kids who r @ age group of (say) 3-6yrs it could be possible that sending them 2 BED works!

And finally sendin them 2 bed is not d only strategy I proposed as a reasonable way of dealing with kids for their gross misconducts.......How about deprivin 'em from wat they like best, scolding them, holdin long tlks  blah blah blah....but not beating.....

Finally 2 digress this issue abit....even some married men beat up their women!!! ....

[ummita]

Hafys darlin, I have read ur comments but I will hav 2 say......(u know better ;) ) but still I wouldnt recommend that beating any person who does wrong is right, besides no one is above mistake!

As this applies 2 d same issue @ stake, & 4 those that encourage spanking/beating lets talk about beating GROWN UPS....yeah adults Yeas :o some ppl do it! Now Hafsy, supposin ur husby gave u a beatin 4 not gettin his breakfast on tym, wen u r juss 5mins late......ITS RYT? Its abosultely ryt wen he lives u with marks? Its totally ryt 2 give u a black eye? Its perfectly so alryt if u fell ill due 2 d severe beatings u received? And nooo there isnt any problem @ all if u end up DEAD!! Now it is extactly wat is happenin with children who receive beatings from their parents....

Back 2 those who oppose 2 sendin kids 2 bed early 4 MINOR & NOT MAJOR MISTAKES...so Zarami.....I should not send a kid 2 bed if he has been duin my head-in, say....(by cryin non-stop)Am I not  duin ma self gud? ..cuz only then, I cud hav a piece of my mind back 2gether.....& hello!!! @ d end of d day that kid will fall asleep. But definately not will I send a husby 2 bed 4 beatin his wifey? Cummon if u understand wat I mean........besides a child and an adult there is this HUGE (sense gap)!!! So for any mistake a person should be beaten both adult & children ryt? ::)Age gap implies wen it comes to discipline.!!!!! I wud send a very young kid 2 bed early..........4 misbehaviour  as simple as that.

Beating teaches that hitting others is morally correct. That means it's only correct if the other person is doing something wrong and won't stop it. A child rarely walks up to another child and hits him or her for no reason. A child hits another child for taking a toy and not giving it back or for calling a name and not stopping. When parents hit children for misbehavior it's no wonder it increases the probability of children hitting each other ::)

Supposin my child seizes a toy off my neigbour, its right if I get my mules or loffers  & start hittin a child....(sai kace wata maihauka).....I will get d toy back 2 d owner..drag my child inside, tell him he'z wrong & owes my negibours son an apology, if he tries 2 give me an atty......am sendin u 2 get....shuttin d lights out.....& bannin u from wat u like. Kapish!. Ma aunts kids...sometimes I dont evensend them, I juss say I will put u in d dark...End of story they stop!

And my biggest worry is, even if beating is d way some parents choose 2 bring up their kids......haba!!! some parents  beat their kids lyk they will neva c 2moro. A woman was spankin her kid juss cuz he doesnt wan2 drink water......OH IT IS PERFECTLY ALRYT

Not surprisingly, spanked children grow up to spank their own children anyway ::)


By d way KILISHI u r welkom

[gogannaka]

ummita u said u had grand children? ??? ???

[ummita]

U dont know? :o oh boi u r lost!!! YES TRULLY I DU HAV GRAND KIDS.....Yeah... yeah I know...its strange 2 hav old women surfin d net!!!..but I think its quite an acceptable 4 an n old woman surfs d net.....& drops comments in kanoonline ko?

[gogannaka]

loool maybe u shoould be  founder
"cybergrannies of kanoonlline" ;D ;D

[Fulanizzle]

Mi amora,

Come on....me iz not talking about 3 or 4 or 5 or even up to 10 years old.......punishing them is even wrong...its like punishing angels...they are angels!!!! whats a worse a 5 year old do? spill a coffe on ur silk dress? (lets pls forget Lpapiez case)..... anywayzzz those u dont even need to send them to their rooms.......

thats too harsh.... for example if they spill coffee....just take them to the kitchen and direct them to get a cloth and clean the table...tahts all... just advice them what to do...no beating or punishment required coz they r just learning stuff..... besides i personally think its cute when a toddler does crazy things.. hehehe

BUT I BE TALKING ABOUT HARD CORE KIDZ...from 12 and above....no goody -goody just send them to MY MOMMA!

[dfynest]

.... besides i personally think its cute when a toddler does crazy things.. hehehe

be careful what you wish for... Dem toddlers can raise hell sometimes... Remember Dennis The Menace?