Author Topic: Make Me Laugh!  (Read 411529 times)

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Offline Mufi

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #345 on: September 05, 2007, 08:56:23 PM »
Kai Dan Allah kuyi mana a hankali da wadannan jokes din ;D Lol!! cikina har ciwo yakeyi ;D

Here is another blonde Joke, enjoy!!!

God Bless Blondes at Football Games
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football (American not Soccer)game. They had great
seats right behind the bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked
the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she said, "especially the really
tight pants and all of the big muscles, but I just couldn't
understand why
they were killing each other for 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What on earth do you mean?"
"Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of
the game, all they kept screaming was: "Get the quarter back!


« Last Edit: September 06, 2007, 04:11:35 PM by mufi »
Life is like a flower; more exquisite and precious when shared with others.

Offline Dave McEwan Hill

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #346 on: September 06, 2007, 06:28:19 PM »
An angry wife met her husband at the door.
There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on
his collar.
"I assume," she snarled, "that there
is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in
here at six o'clock in the morning?"

"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."

Dave McEwan Hill



Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #347 on: September 07, 2007, 04:13:38 AM »
Kai Dan Allah kuyi mana a hankali da wadannan jokes din ;D Lol!! cikina har ciwo yakeyi ;D

Here is another blonde Joke, enjoy!!!

God Bless Blondes at Football Games
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football (American not Soccer)game. They had great
seats right behind the bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked
the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she said, "especially the really
tight pants and all of the big muscles, but I just couldn't
understand why
they were killing each other for 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What on earth do you mean?"
"Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of
the game, all they kept screaming was: "Get the quarter back!


I wasnt intending to login but this joke cracked me up Mufi!! Let me ask you something, akwai wata miss carolina da akai mata wata tambaya akan meyasa yara 'yan makaranta basu san inda america take ba a kan taswirar duniya. She is blonde. Ansar da ta bayar harni da nake thousands of miles away I cringed in embarassment. I wonder if u've heard anything about it?.....
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline *~MuDa~*

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #348 on: September 07, 2007, 06:04:31 PM »
Mlbash's Cyanide joke and Husnaa's Texan Tourist jokes are ill seriouslyi coudnt help laffin my head out. But i can do with a Blond joke too.

A Night In Mexico

Three women go down to Mexico one night, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I am from Grace University, and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent," They throw the switch and nothing happens.

They all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words, "I am from the Creighton School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and again, nothing happens.

Again, they all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.

The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the University of Alabama, Huntsville and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell you right now, you ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."
...He begot not, nor is He begotten!
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Offline Mufi

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #349 on: September 07, 2007, 07:04:33 PM »
Husnaa, i believe u r talking about the Miss Teen USA pageant, Miss South Carolina, she was responding to a question concerning U.S children and the World Map

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww

I couldn't make a tail out of what she was saying. But here is her response the next day after the show aired.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YR8F0hkqokg
« Last Edit: September 07, 2007, 07:30:44 PM by mufi »
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Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #350 on: September 08, 2007, 05:40:08 AM »
She is so so so so so stupid. Even on the show the next day, she does not realize just how patronizing those two talk show hosts sound towards her. And finally, her answer to the question? she was fed it before the show aired. It sounded so rehearsed.

If you want to really laugh, here is what I dug up as an aftermath to the miss carolina dud, about americans and how much they know of the world...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kp6_oFSh_ss&mode=related&search=
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline Mufi

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #351 on: September 10, 2007, 08:53:47 PM »
Haj. Husnaa, wannan kadan muka gani, koda yake ba dukansu bane r like that, they do have intelligent minds out there. Like u said mun gode Allah da ya bamu ilimin da muke dashi.
Life is like a flower; more exquisite and precious when shared with others.

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #352 on: September 12, 2007, 07:55:43 PM »
Two worms sit on a couch at a party. The male worm smiles and chats up the female worm. Nearby, two other male worms are standing. One casts a glance at the couple and says to his worm buddy:
"You gotta check this out Stuart. Vinnie's over on the couch putting the moves on Zelda Schwatz, but he's talking to the wrong end!"
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Offline IBB

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #353 on: September 13, 2007, 06:19:21 AM »
I didnt get the joke can any1 explain it 2 me pls. thanx
IHS

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #354 on: September 13, 2007, 11:51:17 AM »
I didnt get the joke can any1 explain it 2 me pls. thanx
Lol IBB!
Wait for Muda. I am sure he will get it. I'd like to read his reaction to that one. Ramadhan Kareem BTW.
Ok let me give u a clue.. They are all worms..get it?

« Last Edit: September 13, 2007, 12:40:24 PM by HUSNAA »
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Offline Dave McEwan Hill

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #355 on: September 14, 2007, 12:03:40 AM »
Individual earthworms are both male and female -presumably at either end.

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #356 on: September 14, 2007, 01:13:34 PM »
yes that's true.. lol I'd forgotten that!
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Offline IBB

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #357 on: September 16, 2007, 11:12:38 PM »
Hmmn I think i get it now Husnaa
IHS

Offline gogannaka

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #358 on: September 17, 2007, 08:28:16 PM »
OK another one  ;D
A Texan was taking a taxi tour of London with the taxi driver as the tour guide. They pass the famous White Tower at the Tower of London. The cabbie tells him what it is and construction date: begun in 1078, finished in 1087.

"Shoot!" cries the Texan disgusted. "A little Tower like that? In Houston, we'd have that up in a year."

Next they pass the House of Parliament. Cabbie points it out to the Texan and tells him date of construction: started in 1834, finished in 1852.
"We put a bigger building than that up in Dallas, and it only took a month!" says show off Texan.

Next they pass Westminster Abbey, and the fuming cabbie doesnt say anything.

"Whoa!" Cries the Texan, looking at Westminster Abbey. "Whats that?"

"Dont know" replies the cab driver. "It wasnt there yesterday."

LOL....very funny.

Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Offline Dave McEwan Hill

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #359 on: September 20, 2007, 12:02:22 PM »
An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to
marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond  compare.
With that as his mission he began to search for the perfect woman.

Shortly thereafter he met a Redneck who had three stunning, gorgeous
daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his
mission to the Redneck and asked for permission to marry one of them.
The Redneck simply replied, " They're lookin' to get married, so you
came to the right place. Look 'em over and pick the one you want."
The man dated the first daughter. The next day the Redneck asked for
the man's opinion.

"Well," said the man, "she's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can
 hardly notice ... pigeon-toed."
The Redneck nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls;
So the man went out with the second daughter.

The next day, the Redneck again asked how things went.
"Well, "the man replied, "she's just a weeeee bit, not that you can
hardly tell……. cross-eyed."

The Redneck nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if
 things might be better. So he did.

The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming,
"She's perfect, just perfect. She's the one I want to marry."

So they were wed right away. Months later the baby was born. When the
Man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his Redneck father-in-law and asked how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents.

"Well," explained the Redneck , "she was just a weeeee bit, not that
 you could hardly tell ...pregnant when you met her."


 


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