Author Topic: Make Me Laugh!  (Read 407772 times)

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Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #420 on: November 27, 2007, 03:02:05 AM »
good thing there are no irish girls amongst us dave, otherwise they'd be after u with a stick for tarnishing their reputation!!  ;D ;D ;D
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline Muhsin

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #421 on: November 29, 2007, 12:52:12 PM »
Oneday, a mother and her daughter were sitting, waiting for her husband's return from work but he didn't come back at exactly his usual time of coming back home. Thus, while cooking at kitching, the mother ordered the daughter to take het cell-phone and call the father to ask why the delay.

The girl went hurriedly and take the phone and called her father. Instead of him to answer the call she heard a woman's sweet voice talking. She revealed that to her mother who instantly nurtured a very weird feeling. She didn't ask the girl what the woman told her rather she curse whoever was the woman and vowed to deal with her husban when he returns.

As soon as he stepped his feet into the house, his wife start firing words at him; "Who were you together with? I gave you called but your phone was not even with you. Shame! And am now going home or you must tell me who was that used-up woman!"

He didn't at first react unless she finished. He laughed instead.

"You must laugh. What an expected action. That's how you men are...all of you. You kept us at home while you go outside, doing what you feel like doing and..."

He laughed again. Then she sensed something. So she called their daughter.

"Why are you laughing? Am I a laughing stock?"

He was laughing because the scene made him. He knew that he even left his cell-phone at home due to lack of charge but she came acting childishly. And he instinctively fathomed where she was heading. He asked her;

"What did that woman tell you in the dream?"

She spat and pulled their daughter; "But you know your daughter won't lie to you, eh?"

He nodded.

"So..." she started, togue-tided, eager to asked the girl, "What did you hear her saying?"

"The woman said 'the number you have called is not available at the moment, try again later."

                                                           THE END
Get to know [and remember] Allah in prosperity & He will know  [and remember] you in adversity.

Offline waduz

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #422 on: November 29, 2007, 02:05:30 PM »

A small boy knocking on a door:


Knock! knock!! knock!!!

Who is that?

Dishes..

Dishes who?

Dishes me.

Offline Zagaina

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #423 on: November 30, 2007, 08:05:28 PM »
  A student wrote to his dad from school : Dad things are very tight over here, send money or i will commit suicide. The dad reply him:Condition critical at home suicide approved.
IF A CHILD LIVES WITH PRAISE,HE LEARNS TO APPRECIATE.

Offline IBB

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #424 on: December 01, 2007, 03:07:44 AM »
Lame (All the 3)
IHS

Offline *~MuDa~*

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #425 on: December 02, 2007, 03:39:39 PM »
Lol...here is one funny one!

Gates (CEO of Microsoft), Andy Grove(CEO of Intel) and Jerry Sanders (CEO of AMD) were in a high-powered business meeting. During the serious, tense discussions, a beeping noise suddenly is emitted from where Bill is sitting.

Bill says, "Oh, that's my emergency beeper. Gentlemen, excuse me, I really need to take this call." So Bill lifts his wristwatch to his ear and begins talking into the end of his tie. After completing this call, he notices the others are staring at him.

Bill explains, "Oh, this is my new emergency communication system. I have an earpiece built into my watch and a microphone sewn into the end of my tie. That way, I can a take a call anywhere."

The others nod, and the meeting continues. Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Andy starts beeping. He also states, "Oh, that is my emergency beeper. Excuse me, gentlemen, this must be an important call." So Andy taps his earlobe and begins talking into thin air.

When he completes his call, he notices the others staring at him and explains, "I also have an emergency communication system. But my earpiece is actually implanted in my earlobe, and the microphone is actually embedded in this fake tooth. Isn't that neat?"

The others nod, and the meeting continues.

Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Jerry emits a thunderous fart. He looks up at the others staring at him and says, "Uhh, somebody get me a piece of paper... I'm receiving a fax."
...He begot not, nor is He begotten!
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Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #426 on: December 02, 2007, 05:41:18 PM »
Lame (All the 3)
Wallahi kuwa. I didnt want to be the first to comment.
Lol muda that was hilarious! guess what?  give him some toilet paper to receive the next fart er.. fax on lol hahahaha!!  ;D

Ok here is one that got me cracking up:

A drunken man stumbled across an evangelical mass baptism service next to a river. He waded into the water and stood next to the preacher.
"My son are you ready to find Jesus?"  the preacher asked.
"Yeah sure," said the drunk. The minister dunked him under the water for a split second and pulled him back up.
"Have you found Jesus?"
"No I haven't" said the drunk. The minister dunked him in the water for just a bit longer.
"Have you found Jesus?" He asked him again.
"No I haven't Reverend."
The preacher held the man under for more than 30 seconds. "By all the saints" said the preacher, "have you found Jesus this time?"
The drunk spluttered, wiped his eyes and said in exasperation
"Look, are you sure this is where he fell in?"
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline ajingi

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #427 on: December 07, 2007, 05:49:14 PM »
OBJ's Statue:

Those guys who made Saddam statues approached OBJ with an offer to make a giant OBJ statue at Abuja gate for $30m. "30million Dollars?!?" OBJ exclaimed, "If you give me $10m, I'll go stand there myself!"
I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent.

Offline Lawwali

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #428 on: December 07, 2007, 08:31:08 PM »
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
it takes oppressed and oppressor for oppression to occur

Offline Dave_McEwan_Hill

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #429 on: December 09, 2007, 09:55:10 PM »
A wee girl is wartching her pregnant mother having a shower.
" Why is your tummy so big,mummy?" she asks
" Because your little brother is in there" mother explains
A short silence and then the wee girls asks
" What have you got in your bottom then?"
maigemu

Offline waduz

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #430 on: December 10, 2007, 02:44:56 PM »
 
After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Saddam is still
alive", Saddam decided to send George W. a letter in his own writing to let him
know that he is still in the game.
Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message:
370HSSV-0773H George W. couldn't figure it out so he typed it out and faxed it to Colin Powell. Colin and his aides had no clue either so they sent it to the CIA. No
one could solve it so it went to the NSA and then to MIT and NASA and the Secret
Service... the list got longer and longer.
Eventually they asked Mossad in Israel for help. Cpt. Moishe Pippick took one look at it and replied: "Tell the President he is looking at the message upside
down." ;D



Offline ajingi

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #431 on: December 10, 2007, 03:31:02 PM »
Because am an expensive guy with an expensive babe, i decided to buy my expensive babe an expensive phone, loaded with expensive credit. One day i decided to go in my expensive suit to visit my expensive babe in her expensive flat to take her to an expensive restaurant.

On getting there, she was having her bath in the bathroom. suddenly her expensive phone rang, the caller I.D showed MUGU ONE, as an expensive guy, i laughed that this poor guys wont stop disturbing my babe. but as a guy, i reasoned "what might this girl save my name with, 'maybe Honey as she fondly calls me" i decided to dial her number. Guess what i saw MUGU 17. can u believe????Girls are really terrible...
I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent.

Offline IBB

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #432 on: December 11, 2007, 08:23:50 AM »
" What have you got in your bottom then?"

lol, why is it so big too?

Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message:

370HSSV-0773H he is looking at the message upside
down." ;D

Hello-Ass****

MUGU ONE

LOL. That reminds me of the girls in my Uni they saved guys numbers as Driver-1 n so forth. Thank God i'm not one of them
IHS

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #433 on: December 11, 2007, 11:30:53 AM »
 
After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Saddam is still
alive", Saddam decided to send George W. a letter in his own writing to let him
know that he is still in the game.
Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message:
370HSSV-0773H George W. couldn't figure it out so he typed it out and faxed it to Colin Powell. Colin and his aides had no clue either so they sent it to the CIA. No
one could solve it so it went to the NSA and then to MIT and NASA and the Secret
Service... the list got longer and longer.
Eventually they asked Mossad in Israel for help. Cpt. Moishe Pippick took one look at it and replied: "Tell the President he is looking at the message upside
down." ;D






370HSSV-0773H  = Hello Asshole!! lol that was clever!! hahahahaha
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline Dan-Borno

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #434 on: December 11, 2007, 11:54:48 AM »
370HSSV-0773H

 ;D  ;D my office mates were laughing at me, when
they saw me turning my screen upside down to read
what waduz just posted.  Na sha dariya wallahi.
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

 


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