Author Topic: Make Me Laugh!  (Read 407802 times)

0 Members and 3 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline IBB

  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: Mar 2003
  • Location: kano
  • Posts: 1651
  • Gender: Male
  • Mashaallah
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #675 on: October 31, 2008, 10:13:33 PM »
Dear Sir / Madam RE; REJECT REFUSAL Thank you for your letter dated 25th October, 2008. After careful consideration of the fact set out by the letter, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your company. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates you will agree with me that it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. It is only natural that I should decline some of them. Despite your company's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my rejection criteria. I am able bodied, academically qualified and have an impressive work history.


Therefore I will start work with your company on Thursday 1st May 2009 at 8.00 am without fail. Remuneration shall be negotiated once I commence work. I look forward to seeing you then. Regards,
IHS

Offline Jibo

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Join Date: Jul 2008
  • Location: Nigeria
  • Posts: 488
  • Gender: Male
  • Jibril (Jibo)
    • View Profile
    • jibril
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #676 on: November 03, 2008, 10:45:22 AM »
laugh! laugh! and cry! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :'( :'( :'(
A lazy youth is definitely a begging adult! Bata hankalin Dare ka yi suna!: Fas'alu ahalil zikri, inkuntum la ta'alamun!

Offline gogannaka

  • Global Moderator
  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: May 2003
  • Location: Kano
  • Posts: 3693
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #677 on: November 03, 2008, 11:46:13 AM »
hahahaha...
IBB that is one of the funniest pieces here...lol

Allah sarki,karfin hali....d guy don taya.
Kai............lool
rejection criteria.
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Offline HUSNAA

  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: Dec 2005
  • Location: In Limbo
  • Posts: 2944
  • Gender: Female
  • Life's but the blink of an eye:spend it gratefully
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #678 on: November 03, 2008, 04:11:41 PM »
Dear Sir / Madam RE; REJECT REFUSAL Thank you for your letter dated 25th October, 2008. After careful consideration of the fact set out by the letter, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your company. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates you will agree with me that it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. It is only natural that I should decline some of them. Despite your company's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my rejection criteria. I am able bodied, academically qualified and have an impressive work history.


Therefore I will start work with your company on Thursday 1st May 2009 at 8.00 am without fail. Remuneration shall be negotiated once I commence work. I look forward to seeing you then. Regards,

Wannan shi ne kudan kwallon mangwaro. Ko da yake an yada shi amma duk da haka ba a huta ba!!! ;D
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline Muhsin

  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: Jul 2006
  • Location: kano
  • Posts: 3107
  • Gender: Male
  • Ikraa bismi Rabbikal lazii khalaq
    • View Profile
    • The Learner
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #679 on: November 04, 2008, 01:16:50 PM »
LOL ;D
Get to know [and remember] Allah in prosperity & He will know  [and remember] you in adversity.

Offline Dave_McEwan_Hill

  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: Jun 2003
  • Location: Argyll, Scotland
  • Posts: 514
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #680 on: November 22, 2008, 12:57:01 AM »
WIFE:
> What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
>
> HUSBAND:
>
> Definitely not!
>
> WIFE:
>
> Why not - don't you like being married?
>
> HUSBAND:
>
> Of course I do.
>
> WIFE:
>
> Then why wouldn't you remarry?
>
> HUSBAND:
>
> Okay, I'd get married again.
>
> WIFE:
>
> You would? (With a hurtful look on her face).
>
> HUSBAND:
>
> (Makes audible groan).
>
> WIFE:
>
> Would you live in our house?
>
> HUSBAND:
>
> Sure, it's a great house.
>
> WIFE:
>
> Would you sleep with her in our bed?
>
> HUSBAND:
>
> Where else would we sleep?
>
> WIFE:
>
> Would you let her drive my car?
>
> HUSBAND:
>
> Probably, it is almost new.
>
> WIFE:
>
> Would you replace my pictures with hers?
>
> HUSBAND:
>
> That would seem like the proper thing to do.
>
> WIFE:
>
> Would she use my golf clubs?
>
> HUSBAND:
>
> No, she's left-handed.
>
> WIFE:
> - silence - -
>
> HUSBAND:
> Sh*t...........................
maigemu

Offline IBB

  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: Mar 2003
  • Location: kano
  • Posts: 1651
  • Gender: Male
  • Mashaallah
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #681 on: November 22, 2008, 01:09:27 AM »
What a Jaw dropper
IHS

Offline gogannaka

  • Global Moderator
  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: May 2003
  • Location: Kano
  • Posts: 3693
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #682 on: November 22, 2008, 07:49:56 PM »
LOL..
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Offline mlbash

  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: Jul 2004
  • Location: kano
  • Posts: 808
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #683 on: November 23, 2008, 09:21:20 PM »
Hi,

A good laugh for lunch break!!!!

 

Late in 1994, an 87 year old great-grand father passed on in a village close to Amai, Kwale, Delta State.
 
The late man’s grandson by name Ufiaka (26 years old and fairly educated) was given some money and asked to travel to Agbor and buy a fine casket for his grand pa’s burial.
 
Ufiaka left base early and arrived Agbor in good time to purchase the casket and make the return journey same day.  He was fortunate to get an open back white coloured Peugeot 404 pickup heading for Amai.  He, however, had to ride in the back of the pickup with the casket because two market women travelling to Amai were already seated in front with the driver.
 
On the home journey, they ran into a heavy rain storm close to Urhonigbe and Ufiaka quickly opened the Casket, laid himself nicely in the well-padded interior, covered the lid and used the folded newspaper he had with him to leave a small opening between the lid and the main body of the white casket to ensure adequate ventilation.  The interior of the casket was very comfortable and Ufiaka fell into a very deep sleep.
 
The rain had subsided at the time the pickup van arrived at Umutu and during a brief stop there, two men travelling to Amai entered the vehicle at the back and the same happened at Obiaruku where a man and a woman travelling also to Amai entered the vehicle.  All this while, Ufiaka was enjoying his beauty sleep inside the Casket completely unaware of the new passengers who boarded at Umutu and Obiaruku.
 
The pickup van arrived Amai just after 5 p.m. and the driver, who was now very hungry, stopped in front of a busy bukataria to have a quick bite before proceeding to the next village. The sudden stoppage and revving of the pickup’s engine woke Ufiaka who then opened the lid of the Casket and rose up.
 
Trouble!  Trouble!!  Wahala!!!   Katakata!!!!
The passengers in the back of the pickup jumped out of the vehicle from various points and took to their heels in various directions.  The people eating in open type bukataria (including the mama-put and her service girls) who saw the white casket open and a ‘ghost’ stop out, ran off all over the place some with balls of eba and akpu in their hands.  Ufiaka, seeing people running ‘helter skelter’ was convinced that armed robbers were operating and decided to take-off in the direction three of the passengers, including the women, were running.
 
When the three passengers realised that Ufiaka was running towards them, they increased speed and shouted ghost, ghost and to further worsen the situation, Ufiaka was dressed in white up and down with white shoes to match that day.
 
With the shouting of ghost, other people in their homes came out to see what was going on and on seeing people running at high speed all over they joined in the race for dear life and the number just swelled.
 
The driver and the two market women were running too! When they saw people pointing to Ufiaka that he was the ghost they started laughing at their stupidity for not knowing what they were running from before they started running.
 
IF NA YOU SEE DE GHOST, WETIN YOU GO DO?
t is my intention to make the neglected aspect of our societies viable

Offline gogannaka

  • Global Moderator
  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: May 2003
  • Location: Kano
  • Posts: 3693
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #684 on: November 23, 2008, 09:51:01 PM »
LOL,
Nice one!
I remember seeing on ane comedy show 'the king of comedy' that blacks, when we see someone running,we don't ask why he's running,we just join and idan mu ka kai tudun mun tsira sai mu tambaya me ake gudar wa?

No be thier fault jare!....even me i go pick race make i no become scapegoat.
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Offline Dave_McEwan_Hill

  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: Jun 2003
  • Location: Argyll, Scotland
  • Posts: 514
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #685 on: November 26, 2008, 12:14:20 PM »
//It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. //
//One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb). //
//The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb. //
//Human thighbones are stronger than concrete. //
//A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. //
//There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet. //
//Women blink twice as often as men. //
//The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain. //
//Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still. //
//If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it. //

//Women reading this will be finished now. //
//Men who read this are probably still busy checking their thumbs.///*
/
maigemu

Offline IBB

  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: Mar 2003
  • Location: kano
  • Posts: 1651
  • Gender: Male
  • Mashaallah
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #686 on: November 26, 2008, 05:01:53 PM »
LOL
IHS

Offline Dave_McEwan_Hill

  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: Jun 2003
  • Location: Argyll, Scotland
  • Posts: 514
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #687 on: December 02, 2008, 01:20:04 AM »
The Federal Government were taking quotes from some road building around Abuja.
The panel had three contactors to interview
The first contractor, Mr Eze, was shown in and asked for his price
Three Million Naira he quoted.
The panel asked him how he came to the figure
"Well " he said "There's  one million for materials, one million for labour and one million profit for me."
"Okay" said the chairman of the panel " You can wait outside"
The second contractor, Mr Ogunwale, came in. He quotes six million naira.
"Two million for materials, two million for labour and two million for my company"
"Okay" says the chairman "You can wait outside as well."
In comes the third contractor, Alhaji Abdu.
He quotes nine million naira
"And how do you come to that figure?" asks the chairman of the panel.
"Well" says Abdu " It's three million for you guys, three million for me and we give the other three million to Mr Eze to do the work"
maigemu

Offline Dante

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Join Date: Jan 2004
  • Location: Arewa ta kudu
  • Posts: 363
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
    • http://www.muntata.2ya.com/
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #688 on: December 02, 2008, 04:47:18 PM »
LoL..  8)
_________________________
Gaskiya tafi komai..........هو الذي

Offline bakangizo

  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: Apr 2005
  • Location: Kano
  • Posts: 1925
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #689 on: December 04, 2008, 11:28:20 AM »
Hi,

A good laugh for lunch break!!!!

 

Late in 1994, an 87 year old great-grand father passed on in a village close to Amai, Kwale, Delta State.
 
The late man’s grandson by name Ufiaka (26 years old and fairly educated) was given some money and asked to travel to Agbor and buy a fine casket for his grand pa’s burial.
 
Ufiaka left base early and arrived Agbor in good time to purchase the casket and make the return journey same day.  He was fortunate to get an open back white coloured Peugeot 404 pickup heading for Amai.  He, however, had to ride in the back of the pickup with the casket because two market women travelling to Amai were already seated in front with the driver.
 
On the home journey, they ran into a heavy rain storm close to Urhonigbe and Ufiaka quickly opened the Casket, laid himself nicely in the well-padded interior, covered the lid and used the folded newspaper he had with him to leave a small opening between the lid and the main body of the white casket to ensure adequate ventilation.  The interior of the casket was very comfortable and Ufiaka fell into a very deep sleep.
 
The rain had subsided at the time the pickup van arrived at Umutu and during a brief stop there, two men travelling to Amai entered the vehicle at the back and the same happened at Obiaruku where a man and a woman travelling also to Amai entered the vehicle.  All this while, Ufiaka was enjoying his beauty sleep inside the Casket completely unaware of the new passengers who boarded at Umutu and Obiaruku.
 
The pickup van arrived Amai just after 5 p.m. and the driver, who was now very hungry, stopped in front of a busy bukataria to have a quick bite before proceeding to the next village. The sudden stoppage and revving of the pickup’s engine woke Ufiaka who then opened the lid of the Casket and rose up.
 
Trouble!  Trouble!!  Wahala!!!   Katakata!!!!
The passengers in the back of the pickup jumped out of the vehicle from various points and took to their heels in various directions.  The people eating in open type bukataria (including the mama-put and her service girls) who saw the white casket open and a ‘ghost’ stop out, ran off all over the place some with balls of eba and akpu in their hands.  Ufiaka, seeing people running ‘helter skelter’ was convinced that armed robbers were operating and decided to take-off in the direction three of the passengers, including the women, were running.
 
When the three passengers realised that Ufiaka was running towards them, they increased speed and shouted ghost, ghost and to further worsen the situation, Ufiaka was dressed in white up and down with white shoes to match that day.
 
With the shouting of ghost, other people in their homes came out to see what was going on and on seeing people running at high speed all over they joined in the race for dear life and the number just swelled.
 
The driver and the two market women were running too! When they saw people pointing to Ufiaka that he was the ghost they started laughing at their stupidity for not knowing what they were running from before they started running.
 
IF NA YOU SEE DE GHOST, WETIN YOU GO DO?


LOL. This reminds me of a joke I heard about one of those Funeral Parlours that sale Caskets/Coffins. In a bid to attract more sales and customers, they are doing a bonanza, and placed an advert in front of the shop that says, "Beautiful Coffins; BUY TWO & GET ONE FREE;D

 


Powered by EzPortal