WHY DO YOU THINK GIRLS RESERVES THEIR AFFECTION?

[Lawwali]

From the proceedings of an earlier topic "in search for the missing Ribs", i can still see that Girls always reserves their affections. They mostly cant approach a Guy when they have feelings for Him, even at the expense of their lives. I was once visibly moved and shaken when one of sisters collapsed after she learnt of one of our cousins' marriage plans. Unknown to all of us she was deeply but secretly in love with him, but alas! neither he knows of that nor she made him to know. To my utter suprise, that girl is one of the Brillient and wise children of my Dad. Why shouldnt the forum and the society at large lunch a rigorous and vehement campaign to encourage girls into expressing their feelings when the need arise. :'(

[hafsee]

From the proceedings of an earlier topic "in search for the missing Ribs", i can still see that Girls always reserves their affections. They mostly cant approach a Guy when they have feelings for Him, even at the expense of their lives. I was once visibly moved and shaken when one of sisters collapsed after she learnt of one of our cousins' marriage plans. Unknown to all of us she was deeply but secretly in love with him, but alas! neither he knows of that nor she made him to know. To my utter suprise, that girl is one of the Brillient and wise children of my Dad. Why shouldnt the forum and the society at large lunch a rigorous and vehement campaign to encourage girls into expressing their feelings when the need arise. :'(

lawallı you know as ladıes we have to carry that name along wıth us. do u know that ıts serıously embarrasıng when a gırl ıs beıng told she ıs not actıng lıke a lady?(zagı ne to me) habba aı as ladıes we should be modest ne kawaı. on the other hand yaran yanzu ba abında basuyı about your sıster hmmmm... was once ın her shoes. ıts hard for us cuz we are soft mınded ALLAH  ne yayı mu haka bawaı yın mu bane. ıs not lyk u dont wanna go up to that guy ur feelıng so bad. u want to go and tell that guy how u feel but you jst cant because some men are mean. thy could use that agaınst you some day. amma na serıous desease not beıng able to show ur feelıngsş hıdıng them ınseıde for only GOD knows how long. ıts kıllıng man. but hey we are ladıes..........

[Nuruddeen]

You see Lawwalli one thing u should consider is that women have pride. Every woman has that element of Jan'aji a tattare da ita. Its normal. You don't just expect them to submit themselves to you like that bcos you will consider them cheap and eventually sai ka rena mata hankali. I think guys should know that they do that bcos they have an interest to protect. I am nt advocating for them to engage in jan'aji or class struggle. For if its too much they end up in quandary and premature perdition of hopelessness. Lafs!!!I remain loyal

[Nuruddeen]

From the proceedings of an earlier topic "in search for the missing Ribs", i can still see that Girls always reserves their affections. They mostly cant approach a Guy when they have feelings for Him, even at the expense of their lives. I was once visibly moved and shaken when one of sisters collapsed after she learnt of one of our cousins' marriage plans. Unknown to all of us she was deeply but secretly in love with him, but alas! neither he knows of that nor she made him to know. To my utter suprise, that girl is one of the Brillient and wise children of my Dad. Why shouldnt the forum and the society at large lunch a rigorous and vehement campaign to encourage girls into expressing their feelings when the need arise. :'(

lawallı you know as ladıes we have to carry that name along wıth us. do u know that ıts serıously embarrasıng when a gırl ıs beıng told she ıs not actıng lıke a lady?(zagı ne to me) habba aı as ladıes we should be modest ne kawaı. on the other hand yaran yanzu ba abında basuyı about your sıster hmmmm... was once ın her shoes. ıts hard for us cuz we are soft mınded ALLAH  ne yayı mu haka bawaı yın mu bane. ıs not lyk u dont wanna go up to that guy ur feelıng so bad. u want to go and tell that guy how u feel but you jst cant because some men are mean. thy could use that agaınst you some day. amma na serıous desease not beıng able to show ur feelıngsş hıdıng them ınseıde for only GOD knows how long. ıts kıllıng man. but hey we are ladıes..........

My naughty friend Hafsy! Welcome. It has been a long time since I passed  comment in ur post. My sister, all what u said is right. But if I may ask what d u mean by some men are mean? Pls expatiate on that if u would not mind.

[Nuruddeen]

From the proceedings of an earlier topic "in search for the missing Ribs", i can still see that Girls always reserves their affections. They mostly cant approach a Guy when they have feelings for Him, even at the expense of their lives. I was once visibly moved and shaken when one of sisters collapsed after she learnt of one of our cousins' marriage plans. Unknown to all of us she was deeply but secretly in love with him, but alas! neither he knows of that nor she made him to know. To my utter suprise, that girl is one of the Brillient and wise children of my Dad. Why shouldnt the forum and the society at large lunch a rigorous and vehement campaign to encourage girls into expressing their feelings when the need arise. :'(

lawallı you know as ladıes we have to carry that name along wıth us. do u know that ıts serıously embarrasıng when a gırl ıs beıng told she ıs not actıng lıke a lady?(zagı ne to me) habba aı as ladıes we should be modest ne kawaı. on the other hand yaran yanzu ba abında basuyı about your sıster hmmmm... was once ın her shoes. ıts hard for us cuz we are soft mınded ALLAH  ne yayı mu haka bawaı yın mu bane. ıs not lyk u dont wanna go up to that guy ur feelıng so bad. u want to go and tell that guy how u feel but you jst cant because some men are mean. thy could use that agaınst you some day. amma na serıous desease not beıng able to show ur feelıngsş hıdıng them ınseıde for only GOD knows how long. ıts kıllıng man. but hey we are ladıes..........

[Ibro2g]

Well, like your tread says "in search of the missing rib" The woman is naturally very shy which hinders her from alotta lifes thrills, but that is the way it is supposed to be. It is said that when Adam and Hauwa where roaming the earth looking for each other, she found him first and couldnt come forward to him for a number of years till he found her himself. SO dont blame the modern lady or your sister afterall, our mother was even greater.
HOwever, times have changed drastically, and honestly, men have pride too. As for "using it against", it is used against men everyday. Considering our distribution in gender and number, and the way the world is all out every man for himself. Everyone needs to go out for what he wants, hence the large population of women educated and working, hence the struggle for political power, women right and all...be careful what you wish for, cuz u just might have it. I'm not against any of the above, but since women rub shoulders in struggle, they might as well just fo for what they want
As for men who take advantage in a wrong way over this, or who would "raina mata wayo" they dont deserve the feeling associated to them, now she knows, life goes on. The man has endured this for so long, today we are growing....whats that word....EQUAL!

NO insult or harm intended anywhere
Peace be on u all

[HUSNAA]

You know all what hafsee said about modesty and not seeming to be too forward is true. This has been the case from time immemorial, maybe from Nana Hauwa'u possibly. This thing also cuts across all cultures. Its not only in our society that women hide how they feel about a man unless he makes the first move. It has something to do with being modest and having kunya, which are attributes associated with a woman.
On the other hand, if a woman really feels for a man and he has no way of knowing, then she can use women's ready tricks to attract his attention. Like for example, she could get some old women (who are known to have some licence for saying their minds due to the greatness of their ages and no one would misinterprete or misrepresent their meanings) to make subtle suggestions to the man.. like if he is looking for a marriage partner, has he considered the daughters of wane kaza... especially wance kaza? At the very least, the next time he sees the girl, he will pay some attention to her. It is up to her to take advantage of that attention with good manners and good behavior.. who knows? He might find he is interested and didnt really consider it, or he might find that the girl is really good looking and he never really looked...
That is just one way.. and it is a halal way as well.

[MySeLf]

Sometime is just fear of rejection, that will really break a woman into pieces..                

[IBB]

I was once visibly moved and shaken when one of sisters collapsed after she learnt of one of our cousins' marriage plans. Unknown to all of us she was deeply but secretly in love with him, but alas! neither he knows of that nor she made him to know. To my utter suprise, that girl is one of the Brillient and wise children of my Dad.

Eyyah!! poor gal. She will find someone her heart will be comfortable with. You know Allah blessed women with soft heart.

As per encouraging the ladies to express their feeling, I will also suggest the guys should be encourage to accept and not disrespect the ladies that would do that as well as not take advantage. If no like be diplomatic about it

[Bayya]

You see Lawwalli one thing u should consider is that women have pride. Every woman has that element of Jan'aji a tattare da ita. Its normal.

Sometime is just fear of rejection, that will really break a woman into pieces..                

To ashe ba jan aji bane kenan, ko?

[hafsee]

From the proceedings of an earlier topic "in search for the missing Ribs", i can still see that Girls always reserves their affections. They mostly cant approach a Guy when they have feelings for Him, even at the expense of their lives. I was once visibly moved and shaken when one of sisters collapsed after she learnt of one of our cousins' marriage plans. Unknown to all of us she was deeply but secretly in love with him, but alas! neither he knows of that nor she made him to know. To my utter suprise, that girl is one of the Brillient and wise children of my Dad. Why shouldnt the forum and the society at large lunch a rigorous and vehement campaign to encourage girls into expressing their feelings when the need arise. :'(

lawallı you know as ladıes we have to carry that name along wıth us. do u know that ıts serıously embarrasıng when a gırl ıs beıng told she ıs not actıng lıke a lady?(zagı ne to me) habba aı as ladıes we should be modest ne kawaı. on the other hand yaran yanzu ba abında basuyı about your sıster hmmmm... was once ın her shoes. ıts hard for us cuz we are soft mınded ALLAH  ne yayı mu haka bawaı yın mu bane. ıs not lyk u dont wanna go up to that guy ur feelıng so bad. u want to go and tell that guy how u feel but you jst cant because some men are mean. thy could use that agaınst you some day. amma na serıous desease not beıng able to show ur feelıngsş hıdıng them ınseıde for only GOD knows how long. ıts kıllıng man. but hey we are ladıes..........

My naughty friend Hafsy! Welcome. It has been a long time since I passed  comment in ur post. My sister, all what u said is right. But if I may ask what d u mean by some men are mean? Pls expatiate on that if u would not mind.

hey wassup when ı saıd some men are mean ı mean that thy can be wıcked.

[Ibro2g]

On the other hand, if a woman really feels for a man and he has no way of knowing, then she can use women's ready tricks to attract his attention. Like for example, she could get some old women (who are known to have some licence for saying their minds due to the greatness of their ages and no one would misinterprete or misrepresent their meanings) to make subtle suggestions to the man..

Well said Husnaa

[sadiq]

Besides i do think the thing has a lot to do with genetic makeup. Ladies have that ability to tolerate and persevere. A man that loves a lady will never put the white flag up until he achieves his aim or loses out completely. A lady can stay her whole life loving you without you ever knowing. She can as well stay with you her whole life without you knowing she doesnt love you.

[waduz]

Sometime is just fear of rejection, that will really break a woman into pieces..                

It is a long time since last I heard of a true statement. Please keep on..........

[Bee]

Salam.
      I think it has to do with culture and tradition...and maybe a little bit of being  ladylike,which of course is what is expected of a woman in our culture after all if we keep religion aside,like assuming there was no Islam in the north,the tradition and culture of a Hausa man does not really give much breathing space to a woman.If for instance a girl should ask a man out,he will begin to wonder why(maybe ba mai santa or maybe yer iska ce)because it is soooo unusual for the Hausa people.Women of other tribes do ask a man out.
     The three things a Hausa woman might do are:
1.  Tell him to his face about her feelings(if she is more exposed or if the man is more exposed)
2.  Show him how much she cares by other means but indirectly.She will do what ever she can to make him approach her without him or anyone realizing that she actually led the way.
3.  Or she could decide not to do any of the above and keep her secrete to her self.now that is very painful but she will do it anyway for reasons best known to her.
     Most Hausa women will do the last two