Author Topic: Make Me Laugh!  (Read 407769 times)

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Offline *~MuDa~*

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #360 on: September 20, 2007, 12:46:39 PM »
Lol....hahaha...lol Dave my man....keeep them coming pls....lol! What a wicked histerical reply!
...He begot not, nor is He begotten!
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Offline Dave McEwan Hill

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #361 on: September 21, 2007, 08:49:03 PM »
: Fw: Fwd:Best Ever Genie Story


 




 

A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.  Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

 

The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful!  Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."

 

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door.
A warm voice said, "Come on in."

 

When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done:
glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass.
A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"

 

"Uh...yeah, sir.  We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.

 

"Oh, no apology is necessary...  !  Actually I want to thank you.
You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years.  Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes.  I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."

 

"Wow, that's great!" the husband said.  He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."

 

"No problem,"  said the genie.  "You've got it, it's the least I can do.  And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"

 

"And now you, young lady, what do you want?"  the genie asked.

 

"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.

 

"Consider it done," the genie said.  "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disaster!  s!"

 

"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, g enie?"

 

"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."

 

The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses.  What do you think?"

 

She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right.  Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"

 

You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband.  I'd do the same for you!"

 

So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other.  The genie was insatiable.

 

After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, How old are you and your husband?"

 

"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.

 

"No Kidding," he said.  "Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?????"
 

Offline IBB

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #362 on: September 22, 2007, 02:35:46 PM »
lol
IHS

Offline *~MuDa~*

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #363 on: September 25, 2007, 02:00:46 PM »
This is trullly the best Genie joke ever, wow!
...He begot not, nor is He begotten!
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Offline bakangizo

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #364 on: September 28, 2007, 03:15:47 PM »
Don't know if this has been posted before. Anyway,


Not long ago,three friends came to the New York city. They decided to stay in a hotel during the visit. It so happened that their room ended up being on the 60th floor. The policy of the hotel was that
everynight after 12:00 a.m. the elevators are shut down for security reasons.The next day, the three friends rented a car and went out to explore the city. They enjoyed movies, concerts, and other things throughout the whole day. At one point, they remembered that they have to get back to the hotel before 12
a.m.When they arrived, it was beyond 12 a.m. at night. The elevators were shut down. There was no other way to get back to their room but to take the stairs all the way to the 60th floor. All of a sudden, one friend got an idea.He said 'For the first 20 floors, I will tell jokes to keep us going. Then another one of us could say wisdom stories for the next 20 floors. Finally, we will cover the other 20 floors with sad stories.

So, one of the friends started with the jokes. With laughs and joy,they reached the 20th floor.

Now, another friend started telling stories that are full of wisdom. So, they learned a lot while reaching the 40th floor.

Now, it was time for the sad stories. So, the third friend started thus,'My first sad story is that I left the key for the room in the car :o...'
« Last Edit: September 28, 2007, 03:45:03 PM by Bakan~Gizo »

Offline *~MuDa~*

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #365 on: September 28, 2007, 05:30:40 PM »
Lallai sad kuwa....lolwai icant imagine myself on their shoes!
...He begot not, nor is He begotten!
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Offline IBB

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #366 on: September 28, 2007, 10:05:11 PM »
Damn boy to come n petch the key means covering 100 floors kenan fa
IHS

Offline Dan-Borno

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #367 on: September 29, 2007, 12:44:44 AM »
 ;D  ;D  ;D Bakan Gizo, lallai wannan shine sad story
mai kyau, dan iska, ai sai ya koma ya dauko makullin.
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

Offline waduz

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #368 on: October 16, 2007, 09:04:15 PM »

   Learn Chinese in 5 minutes...
1) That's not right ........................ ....Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive?.......... Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP...............................Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man.................................. .Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse................................. Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach? ...............Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table ......... ..Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift .............. Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here .................... ..Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet ........ ..Wai Yu Mun Ching?
11) This is a tow away zone ............... No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week ... Wai Yu Kum Nao?
13) Staying out of sight .......................Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile .........Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive ........... Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great .......................................... Fa Kin Su Pah

 ;D ;D ;D ::)
 

Offline waduz

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #369 on: October 16, 2007, 09:32:04 PM »
A British pilot during W.W.II was shot down over Germany. In the hospital, he was told that his left leg had to be amputated. He asked for it to be parachuted down over England. This was done. A week later, his right leg had to go, and he asked for the same thing to be done. A week later his left arm had the same fate. A short time later, when his right arm was about to be taken off, he asked for the arm to be dropped over England like the other limbs. He met with a refusal by the German doctor. The answer he received was: "No; we think that you are trying to escape".  ;D


Offline MySeLf

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #370 on: October 16, 2007, 11:36:30 PM »
lol Waduz!

That learn Chinese is easy as A B C.......lol ;D ;D ;D
!!!........................I STAND 4 ISLAM..........................!!!

Offline IBB

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #371 on: October 17, 2007, 01:52:03 PM »
lol. But I cant figure out the "I bumped into coffee table"
IHS

Offline bakangizo

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #372 on: October 17, 2007, 02:39:04 PM »
A British pilot during W.W.II was shot down over Germany. In the hospital, he was told that his left leg had to be amputated. He asked for it to be parachuted down over England. This was done. A week later, his right leg had to go, and he asked for the same thing to be done. A week later his left arm had the same fate. A short time later, when his right arm was about to be taken off, he asked for the arm to be dropped over England like the other limbs. He met with a refusal by the German doctor. The answer he received was: "No; we think that you are trying to escape".  ;D
Haha ;D

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #373 on: October 18, 2007, 06:42:31 PM »
lol. But I cant figure out the "I bumped into coffee table"
Come on IBB. He banged his knee on the coffee table, plus swear word!! coffee tables are supposed to be low... u know that.
Lol Waduz those were classics and tell u what, some of those could easily stand as names of Hong Kong ppl especially the Lei Ying Lo and Wa shing Ka.
Ka is a surname, Wong is also a surname, as Lei Yong. Almost all those syllables on their own stand as someone's name hahahaha....
« Last Edit: October 18, 2007, 06:46:27 PM by HUSNAA »
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #374 on: October 18, 2007, 06:51:42 PM »
Joe bought his mother in law a large plot in an expensive cemetery as a  birthday gift. The next year, he bought her nothing.
‘Don’t I deserve a present”? She moaned.
“You haven’t used the one I bought you last year”, He said.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A farmer took a short cut throught his orchard to get to a nearby pond, carrying a bucket to bring back some fruit.
when he got to the pond, he was surprised to find two girls skinny dipping. They saw him and immediately dropped below the surface of the water.
“We are not going to come out until you leave!” shouted one of the girls.
“I didn’t come here to watch you swim naked,” shouted the farmer holding up the bucket, “I’m came here to feed the 'gators!”.


Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

 


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