Author Topic: Make Me Laugh!  (Read 407796 times)

0 Members and 3 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline waduz

  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: Dec 2006
  • Posts: 546
  • even the blind struggles to see!
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #555 on: March 11, 2008, 11:01:54 AM »
Ughh! Talking about catching eyes! ;D

Offline Dan-Borno

  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: Jan 2007
  • Location: Maiduguri
  • Posts: 2389
  • Gender: Male
  • EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON
    • View Profile
    • Dan-Borno
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #556 on: March 11, 2008, 11:02:28 AM »
That was classic DB!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Husnaa, kin hana DB sakat a wannan thread din, I understand... ;D ;D ;D

Muhsin, bata hanani sakat ba ko kadan, she spoke the truth
didnt you see her here laughing sai kace wadda akayi mata
albishir cewa za a kara mata kishiya............. lol.
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

Offline Dan-Borno

  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: Jan 2007
  • Location: Maiduguri
  • Posts: 2389
  • Gender: Male
  • EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON
    • View Profile
    • Dan-Borno
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #557 on: March 11, 2008, 11:17:05 AM »
here is another one.

HOW TO HANDLE A HUSBAND !

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town.

People would say, "What a peaceful & loving couple."
The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
The Husband replied: "Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America," explained the man. 
"We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona, and took a
trip down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled 
and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, "That's once."


"We proceeded a little further and her horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, "That's twice." We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time my wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.


I SHOUTED at her, "What's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that, are you friggin crazy?!" She looked at ME, and quietly said, "That's once." And from that moment on... we have lived happily ever after."
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

Offline Ibro2g

  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: Nov 2002
  • Location: Katsina
  • Posts: 1302
  • Gender: Male
  • In Munich 23 died. In United they live FOREVER
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #558 on: March 11, 2008, 01:22:59 PM »
Babbar abin da mallam ya hana fada Thats really funny, I would want a woman like that


Safety and peace
Safety and Peace

Offline HUSNAA

  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: Dec 2005
  • Location: In Limbo
  • Posts: 2944
  • Gender: Female
  • Life's but the blink of an eye:spend it gratefully
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #559 on: March 11, 2008, 01:35:07 PM »
That was classic DB!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Husnaa, kin hana DB sakat a wannan thread din, I understand... ;D ;D ;D

Muhsin, bata hanani sakat ba ko kadan, she spoke the truth
didnt you see her here laughing sai kace wadda akayi mata
albishir cewa za a kara mata kishiya............. lol.
Lol DB NOW you have me laughing my head off!! Maybe kana da masaniya da ni bani da ita. Kasan irin wannan lamarin the one concerned is always the last to know... ;D ;D ;D ;D

Babbar abin da mallam ya hana fada Thats really funny, I would want a woman like that

Safety and peace
A DOMINATRIX?
Ibro  I am intrigued by you.. too much of a dreamer... are u an artist by any chance? I think I should give yr avatar a reading ( I sound like gypsy soothsayer ko?)
You could be one of three things but I will keep them to myself. Peace to u too.
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline IBB

  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: Mar 2003
  • Location: kano
  • Posts: 1651
  • Gender: Male
  • Mashaallah
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #560 on: March 12, 2008, 05:01:10 AM »
" No. Only those who catch my eye!"

lol thats deep

I will be a 'Danfo Driver' "

Thats funny think i'v heard that before
IHS

Offline Ibro2g

  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: Nov 2002
  • Location: Katsina
  • Posts: 1302
  • Gender: Male
  • In Munich 23 died. In United they live FOREVER
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #561 on: March 13, 2008, 12:46:44 AM »
Thats really funny, I would want a woman like that

lol lol lol lol lol thats really funny. What I meant was I would'nt want a woman like that. When I replied that some dude was tryina make a point at the office. He musta confused me.

Husnaa, not much is intriguing about me. As u can see I just made a mistake, just like anyone could.
Safety and Peace

Offline gogannaka

  • Global Moderator
  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: May 2003
  • Location: Kano
  • Posts: 3693
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #562 on: March 18, 2008, 04:14:08 PM »
There's a story about a great fisherman who always came home with a load of fish.
One day a stranger asked if he could accompany him the next time he went fishing.
"Sure," the fisherman said. The next morning the 2 made their way to a remote cave.
The stranger noticed that the fisherman didn't have any poles or other equipment
except a rusty tackle box and a scoop net. After the fisherman shut off the motor of
the boat, he opened the tackle box and pulled out a stick of dynamite. He struck a match,
lit the dynamite, and then tossed it into the water. After a deafening explosion, he grabbed
his net and began scooping up fish. With a hard look, the stranger reached into his pocket
and pulled out a badge with the words Game Warden inscribed on it. "You are under arrest,
"he said. His words didn't faze the fisherman. He simply reached into his tackle box again,
lit another stick of dynamite and held it while the fuse burned down. Then he handed the
dynamite to the game warden and said, "So, are you just going to sit there,
or are you going to fish?"
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Offline IBB

  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: Mar 2003
  • Location: kano
  • Posts: 1651
  • Gender: Male
  • Mashaallah
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #563 on: March 18, 2008, 10:26:33 PM »
LOL
IHS

Offline Dave_McEwan_Hill

  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: Jun 2003
  • Location: Argyll, Scotland
  • Posts: 514
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #564 on: March 20, 2008, 02:11:06 AM »
THIS IS WHY WE LOVE OLD PEOPLE
>
>
>
> A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck
> fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live
> far and would just walk home.
>
>
>
> On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a
> bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and
> picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling
> outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire
> purchases home.
>
>
>
> While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old
> lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to
> get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?'
>
>
>
> The farmer said, 'Well, as a matt er of fact, my farm is very close
> to that house I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.'
>
>
>
> The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the
> bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm
> and carry the goose in your other hand?'
>
>
>
> 'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old
> girl home.
>
>
>
> On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley.
> We'll be there in no time.'
>
>
>
> The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, I am a
> lonely widow without a husband to defend me.. How do I know that when
> we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my
> skirt, and have your way with me?'
>
> The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon
> of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I
> possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'
>
>
>
> The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the
> bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens
>
maigemu

Offline bakangizo

  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: Apr 2005
  • Location: Kano
  • Posts: 1925
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #565 on: March 20, 2008, 12:20:20 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D

Offline gogannaka

  • Global Moderator
  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: May 2003
  • Location: Kano
  • Posts: 3693
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #566 on: March 20, 2008, 02:33:17 PM »
Three tortoises, Mick, Andy and Roy, decide to go on a picnic. So Mick

packs

the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The trouble is the picnic site

is ten miles away so it takes them ten days to get there. When they get

there Mick unpacks the food and beer and says "Ok Roy give me the bottle

opener" "I didn't bring it" says Roy "I thought you packed it".

 

Mick gets worried, so he turns to Andy and says "Did you bring the bottle

opener?" Naturally Andy didn't bring it. So they're stuck ten miles from

home without a bottle opener. Mick and Andy beg Roy to go back for it.

 

But he  refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches. After two

hours and after they have sworn on their tortoise lives that they will not

eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees. So Roy sets off down the road at a

steady pace.

 

20 days pass and he still isn't back and Mick and Andy are starving,but a

promise is a promise. Another 5 days and he still isn't back, but a promise

is a promise. Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a

sandwich each, and just as they are about to eat it, Roy pops up from

behind a rock and shouts:

 

"I KNEW IT......I'M NOT  GOING.
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Offline IBB

  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: Mar 2003
  • Location: kano
  • Posts: 1651
  • Gender: Male
  • Mashaallah
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #567 on: March 20, 2008, 10:38:50 PM »
> The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the
> bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens

You have hilarious joke Mr Dave

Gogannaka that was really funny. So all that time he was hiding
IHS

Offline Ibro2g

  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: Nov 2002
  • Location: Katsina
  • Posts: 1302
  • Gender: Male
  • In Munich 23 died. In United they live FOREVER
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #568 on: March 21, 2008, 11:54:07 PM »
That old lady from Dave's joke is one cracker...lol And Goggs, that Roy is a real snitch ass turtle
Safety and Peace

Offline gogannaka

  • Global Moderator
  • Super Member
  • *****
  • Join Date: May 2003
  • Location: Kano
  • Posts: 3693
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #569 on: March 25, 2008, 10:54:58 AM »
Heavy snow had buried my van in our driveway. My husband, Scott, dug around the wheels, rocked the van back and forth and finally pushed me free. I was on the road when I heard an odd noise. I got on my cell and called home. "Thank God you answered," I said when Scott picked up. "There's this alarming sound coming under the van. For a moment I thought I was dragging you down the highway."

"And you didn't stop?"
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

 


Powered by EzPortal