Author Topic: Make Me Laugh!  (Read 407803 times)

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Offline bakangizo

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #285 on: July 16, 2007, 03:00:16 PM »
Marry 2 ,3 or 4 and if u cant treat them with equal justice (and u can never do so)
Yes, you can. That condition refers to material things, and it is not impossible, or beyond man to treat his wives equally materially. What is almost impossible is equal love/emotion, and Allah in His Infinite Wisdom and Mercy, has not made that a pre-condition for polygamy.
Quote
Anyway men are incapable of sustaining emotional love, that is why they can live with more than one woman.
Ouch! That's a big thumbsdown on us ;D

Offline Dan-Borno

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #286 on: July 16, 2007, 07:46:17 PM »
EMTL - how many wives do u have?
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #287 on: July 19, 2007, 08:01:59 PM »
Marry 2 ,3 or 4 and if u cant treat them with equal justice (and u can never do so)
Yes, you can. That condition refers to material things, and it is not impossible, or beyond man to treat his wives equally materially. What is almost impossible is equal love/emotion, and Allah in His Infinite Wisdom and Mercy, has not made that a pre-condition for polygamy.



The problem is that it is that special feeling that one man can have for one of his wives only, that leads him to treat them unequally materiallyor emotionally. Men maybe physically strong, but they are emotionally weak. They cant feel genuinely, and when they do feel genuinely, it proves their undoing, bcos then sai mowar  ta iya juya su kamar waina a kasko.. and that brings on the physical inequality

Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline *~MuDa~*

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #288 on: July 21, 2007, 11:16:50 AM »
I must disagree with u, a man becomes what he chooses to be not because he is controlled by a force he cannot defend, so the question of being emotionally weak does not arise in this respect, the thing is many men enjoy the feel of playing tricks between their wives, first of all they want to feel among or superior in the society by possessing two or more wives, if a man is leaning so much on a particular wife is only because he chooses to be manipulated by her cause i dont see any reason whereby a bread winner of the house will be commanded at will, so my dear Husnaa it is not a matter of being weak emotionally but a matter of choice.
...He begot not, nor is He begotten!
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Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #289 on: July 21, 2007, 04:19:57 PM »
I must disagree with u, a man becomes what he chooses to be not because he is controlled by a force he cannot defend, so the question of being emotionally weak does not arise in this respect, the thing is many men enjoy the feel of playing tricks between their wives, first of all they want to feel among or superior in the society by possessing two or more wives, if a man is leaning so much on a particular wife is only because he chooses to be manipulated by her cause i dont see any reason whereby a bread winner of the house will be commanded at will, so my dear Husnaa it is not a matter of being weak emotionally but a matter of choice.

Ahem.. cleared my throat.. Ahem again.. Now until u qualify to talk about it, we will just leave it at that..... abi? ;D
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline *~MuDa~*

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #290 on: July 22, 2007, 02:28:02 PM »
ok am not experienced ba? Same applies to you to cos you are an only wife abi? he he!

Check this out!

Baby Delivery

A lady was in the delivery room starting to deliver her baby. As the head came out it was dark and had an afro. The doctor said, "Madam, have you ever slept with a black man?"

"Well, yes, but only once."
"Once is all it takes" he replied.


Then the torso came out and it was yellow.
"Madam, have you ever slept with an oriental man?"
"Well, yes" she said, "but only once."

"Once is all it takes," he said.
When the legs came out they were red. The doctor asked her if she had ever slept with an Indian.
"Well, yes" she said, "but only once."
"Once is all it takes," he said.

He finally pulled the baby all the way out and held it upside down and slapped its bottom to make it cry. As it started to cry the woman exclaimed "Oh, thank God, at least it doesn't bark!"
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Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #291 on: July 23, 2007, 10:16:28 AM »
ok am not experienced ba? Same applies to you to cos you are an only wife abi? he he!

'Touche'! As the French say.. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D



He finally pulled the baby all the way out and held it upside down and slapped its bottom to make it cry. As it started to cry the woman exclaimed "Oh, thank God, at least it doesn't bark!" [/color]

Yeuk!!
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline *~MuDa~*

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #292 on: July 23, 2007, 03:08:14 PM »
Ash kin gane dai...i get gist special for you o! you want hear am?
...He begot not, nor is He begotten!
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Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #293 on: July 23, 2007, 06:53:03 PM »
lol spit it out! i WAN HEARAM
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline IBB

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #294 on: July 23, 2007, 07:54:10 PM »
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me! " - That's Direct Marketing"


2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you  says: " He's very rich. "Marry him." -That's Advertising"


3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: " Hi, I'm very rich. "Marry me - That's Telemarketing"


4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:"By the way, I'm rich. Will you "Marry Me?" - That's Public Relations"
 
 
5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:"You are very rich! "Can you marry ! Me?" - That's Brand Recognition"


6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - " That's Customer Feedback"


7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - "That's demand and supply gap"


8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him - "That's competition eating into your market share"


9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - "That's restriction for entering new markets "
IHS

Offline IBB

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #295 on: July 23, 2007, 08:03:30 PM »
5 Minute Management Course
 

>Lesson 1:
>A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
>finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The
>wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs
>downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
>the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob
>says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After
>thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and
>stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob
>hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in
>the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the
>bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was
>Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the
>husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he
>owes me?"
>Moral of the story:
>If you share critical information pertaining to credit
>and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in
>a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
>
>Lesson 2:
>A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed
>her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest
>nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he
>stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,
>"Father, remember Psalm129?" The priest removed his
>hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up
>her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father,
>remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry
>sister but the flesh is weak". Arriving at the
>convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
>On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to
>look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek,
>further up, you will find glory."
>Moral of the story:
>If you are not well informed in your job, you might
>miss a great opportunity.
>
>Lesson 3:
>A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager
>are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil
>lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie
>says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me
>first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be
>in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in
>the world." Puff! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says
>the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on
>the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply
>of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's
>gone."OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
>The manager says, "I want those two back in the office
>after lunch."
>Moral of the story:
>Always let your boss have the first say.
>
>
>Lesson 4
>An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
>A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I
>also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered:
>"Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground
>below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox
>appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
>Moral of the story:
>To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
>very, very high up.
>
>Lesson 5
>A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be
>able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the
>turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why
>don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
>bull. They're packed with nutrients." The turkey
>pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave
>him enough
>strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The
>next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the
>second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the
>turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He
>was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of
>the tree.
>
>Moral of the story:
>BullShit might get you to the top, but it won't keep
>you there.
>
>Lesson 6
>A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was
>so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a
>large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by
>and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay
>there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how
>warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He
>lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing
>for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came
>to investigate. Following the sound, the cat
>discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and
>promptly dug him out and ate him.
>
>Morals of the story:
>(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
>(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
>friend.
>(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
>your mouth shut!
IHS

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #296 on: July 24, 2007, 05:44:41 AM »
Lol we have an Aesop in IBB.. keep them coming!!!   ;D ;D ;D
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline Mufi

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #297 on: July 24, 2007, 03:40:14 PM »
THIS IS WHAT A GUY WROTE TO A SYSTEM ANALYST;
 
Dear Systems Department,
I am desperate for some help!
I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to
Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began
unexpected child Processing and also took up a lot of
space and valuable resources.
This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In
addition Wife 1.0 Installs itself into all other
programs and launches during systems Initialization
and then it monitors all other system
activities.
Applications such as "Boys' Night out 2.5" and "Golf
5.3" no longer Run, and crashes the system whenever
selected. Attempting to operate Selected "Saturday
Rugby 6.3" always fails and "Saturday Shopping 7.1"
runs instead.
I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background
whilst attempting to run any of my favourite
applications. Be it online or offline.
I am thinking of going back to "Girlfriend7.0", but
uninstall doesn't work on this program.
Can you please help?
       
...... AND THIS IS WHAT THE ANALYST SAID;
 Dear Customer,
This is a very common problem resulting from a basic
misunderstanding of the functions of the "wife1.0
"program. Many customers upgrade from "Girlfriend 7.0"
to "Wife 1.0 " thinking that "Wife 1.0" is merely a
UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM.
Actually, "Wife 1.0 " is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed
by it's Creator to Run everything.
You are unlikely to be able to purge "Wife 1.0 "and
still convert back to "Girlfriend 7.0 ", as "Wife 1.0
" was not designed to do this and it is Impossible to
uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the
System once it is installed. Some people have tried to
install "Girlfriend 8.0 "or
"Wife 2.0 "  but have ended up with even more
problems. (See manual under Alimony/Child Support and
Solicitors' Fees).
Having " Wife 1.0 " installed, I recommend you keep it
installed And deal with the difficulties as best as
you can. When any faults or problems Occur, whatever
you think has caused them, you must run the
C:\APOLOGIZE\FORGIVE ME Program and avoid attempting
to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the entire
system.
It may be necessary to run  C:\APOLOGIZE\FORGIVE ME
for a number of  times, and eventually hope that the
operating system will return to normal.
"Wife 1.0 ", although a very high maintenance program,
can be very rewarding. To get the most out of it,
consider buying additional Software  such as "Flowers
2.0" and "Chocolates 5.0" or  "HUGS\KISSES 600.0" or
"TENDERNESS \ UNDERSTANDING 1000.0", or even "Eating
Out Without the Kids 7.2.1" (if child processing has
already started).
DO NOT under any circumstances install "Secretary 2.1"
(Short Skirt Version) or "One Nightstand 3.2" (Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported Application for "Wife 1.0 "and the system will almost certainly CRASH.
BEST OF LUCK!
Your Systems Analyst,
Life is like a flower; more exquisite and precious when shared with others.

Offline IBB

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #298 on: July 25, 2007, 12:04:41 AM »
lol
IHS

Offline amira

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #299 on: July 26, 2007, 04:09:10 PM »
 ;D ;D
*Each day is definately defining me and finding me*

 


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