Author Topic: Make Me Laugh!  (Read 405874 times)

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Offline bakangizo

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #735 on: May 22, 2009, 05:56:24 PM »
GGNK where is the punchline?   ???

That special Warri-created pidgin english. It is a specialty there. When they get into it, not everyone understands them ;)

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #736 on: June 02, 2009, 07:00:41 PM »
GGNK where is the punchline?   ???

That special Warri-created pidgin english. It is a specialty there. When they get into it, not everyone understands them ;)
Da Alama kam
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline bakangizo

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #737 on: July 23, 2009, 06:29:57 PM »
A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. He Said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"

The audience was in silence and shock.

The speaker added:
 
"And that woman was my mother!"

Laughter and applause.

A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink. He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner,

"The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"

 The wife went; "ah!" with shock and rage.

Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out

"...and I can't remember who she was!"

By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water.


Moral of the story:

Don't copy if you can't paste!


 


Offline gogannaka

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #738 on: July 24, 2009, 05:01:07 PM »
LOL,Nice one BKGZ


Wasu jokes da na gani on facebook:

1) Yan giya biyu suna hira: Dan giya na farko: Ya kalli sama ya ce, kai amma fa in za'a yi wa sama kwano(roofing) za ta ci rafta(ceiling wood). Dan giya na biyu: Ya amsa masa, ai yi wa sama kwano ai sai federal gwamment.


2) Wasu yan giya guda biyu sun fito suna musu wajen sha daya na dare a fagge wai dare ne ko rana, sai suka hadu da wani dangiya na uku suka tam bayeshi: wai dare ne ko rana? Sai yace; kai wallahi nima bako ne!


3) A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got
along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following
questions:

Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.

I don't think you understand. Does either of you have
a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean. What are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland.

Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.

What makes you think that?
I got proof.

What kind of proof?
She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore
and put on the shelf in bathroom.
I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover"
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Offline bakangizo

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #739 on: July 24, 2009, 06:10:14 PM »
3) A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got
along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following
questions:...

What kind of proof?
She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore
and put on the shelf in bathroom.
I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover"

Haha.

I heard something similar long ago, but I can't remember the lines. Something about an Indian in America for the first time.

Offline Dan-Borno

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #740 on: July 24, 2009, 07:45:19 PM »
lol nice one too GGNK
shege dan giya wai only federal government ne zata
iya yin roofing hahahaha.
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

Offline gogannaka

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #741 on: July 24, 2009, 09:33:26 PM »
HAhaha,ta gaya mai karya.
Amma ai kasan gwamnati ita ce mai ta'ammali da asara.
Kuma zancen gaskiya gwamnatin najeriya idan suka ga dama sai wani ya kawo idea ayi roofing sama saboda a ci kudi.
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Offline ummutameem

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #742 on: July 24, 2009, 11:18:32 PM »
tips for survival in nija:

if u want to be angry, watch obasanjo talk
if you want to be drowsy, listen to yaradua's speeches
if u want to be bored, watch david mark's senate
if u want to waste a whole day, attend bankole's house probes
if u want comedy, tune to dora akunyili's rebranding
if u r allergic to lies, avoid aondoaka and farida's anti corruption crusade
if u r disgruntled, join el rufai and ribadu.
if u have kids learning english, avoid turai whenever she talks!

this was a txt msg sent to me, i hav nothing to do with its creation, all i can say is:

God bless our leaders and God bless Nigeria

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #743 on: July 25, 2009, 12:17:19 PM »

well done everyone! This is what I call forum revival ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D. Keep it up!!
Umm T wuna welcome backooooo ;D ;D ;D ;D
Mima I get one real life joke which i will share with u if I can get at where i wrote it down. Later sha!
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline gogannaka

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #744 on: July 26, 2009, 07:14:54 AM »
UmmT long time.

I believe Turai is far better then Goodluck Jonathan's wife.
NTA don't bother putting any of her speeches on TV anymore...WAI  :-X

Here is one funny turai conversation in Akwa-Ibom:
'You see many people say i have done medicine for my husband,
I did not do any medicine for my Husband.It is only love that is between us'
i encourage you also to love your husbands.


And the when she was about leaving she turned back and said
'don't do medicine for your husbands'


However,ai ba dole bane sai mutum ya iya turanchi.
Infact gaskiya suna kokartawa.
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Offline bakangizo

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #745 on: July 27, 2009, 06:11:10 PM »
Here is one funny turai conversation in Akwa-Ibom:
'You see many people say i have done medicine for my husband,
I did not do any medicine for my Husband.It is only love that is between us'
i encourage you also to love your husbands.


And the when she was about leaving she turned back and said
'don't do medicine for your husbands'


However,ai ba dole bane sai mutum ya iya turanchi.
Infact gaskiya suna kokartawa.

 ;D ;D Gaskiya I laff on dat. Amma fa in za'a fadi gaskiya, Turancin Turai fa sai a hankali ;D

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #746 on: July 27, 2009, 07:37:56 PM »
I think I heard her talk in America. She was OK.
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline bakangizo

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #747 on: August 19, 2009, 06:00:27 PM »
Now that I've learnt how copy and paste,


A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. He Said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"

The audience was in silence and shock.

The speaker added:
 
"And that woman was my mother!"

Laughter and applause.

A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink. He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner,

"The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"

 The wife went; "ah!" with shock and rage.

Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out

"...and I can't remember who she was!"

By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water.

Offline gogannaka

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #748 on: August 19, 2009, 06:42:26 PM »
Hahahahaha.

You no go kill me with lafta.
Next time ya kara.
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Offline Muhsin

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #749 on: August 20, 2009, 12:07:23 PM »
BKGZ,

You had me scornfully laughing. Ppl around turned their gazes towards me. Wallahi it's scorching funny.
Get to know [and remember] Allah in prosperity & He will know  [and remember] you in adversity.

 


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